Do you genuinely want to hang out with your friends' kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you genuinely want to hang out with your friends' kids? As opposed to doing so so that your friend doesn't have to hire a babysitter?

I completely get why friends may need to bring kids along to meet up with me, or invite me over to their house where the kids will be because babysitters are expensive. I am totally up for doing that and I respond positively when my friends suggest it. I interact nicely with the kids, etc.

But ideally, I'd rather see my friends without their kids in tow.

Sometimes friends just really seem to want me to hang out with the kids. Like, they think I must really want to see the kids themselves.

Example: I am in City X this week. I reached out to a friend who is a SAHM to see if she wants to get together for lunch, when the kids are in school. She suggests instead we meet up after school "because the kids are in school this week and that way you will get to see the kids, too!"

I want to see my nieces and nephews and cousins' kids for sure. But they are family. Maybe I am a horrible person, but I don't really care that much about seeing my friends' kids.

Maybe she wants to show her kids she actually has friends. My kids seem to think I'm some alien who landed on earth and never knew anyone before them. How about you try to meet for a later lunch and then go by to see the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP won't say whether she herself has kids. Odd.

Why? So you can post something dumb like you don't have kids so you don't understand 1111.
Ignoring the fact that several other parents have said they don't want to hang out with their friends kids.

As usual keep the BS to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Not unless they are either a baby, which I enjoy, or a teenager who can carry a conversation. Otherwise, not really.

[Anonymous]

I have kids and I feel the same way as OP. I don't ever assume my friends are eager to hang with my kids either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids, OP?

Yes, they are grown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not unless they are either a baby, which I enjoy, or a teenager who can carry a conversation. Otherwise, not really.

Same. With how hard I work during the week, I want to be able to let loose when I'm with friends. I don't want to have to talk in code or watch my language.

[Anonymous]

No, not interested in it.

[Anonymous]

If I see the kids regularly in other contexts, like they go to school with my kids or we all go to church together, then I don’t really want to see them when I get together with friends. And that’s definitely implied!
If I don’t see the kids much or it’s been years, then I want to see them. I’m flying out to visit my college roommate next month, and I definitely want to meet her husband and her son.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

OP why are siblings/cousin's kids different from friends' kids just because the former is family? If they are close friends, yes I am interested.

My parents were immigrants and in their community of family friends, kids were very much included. I grew up really getting to know those other adults and vice versa.

I also like to meet up with friends childfree because the conversations are different, it's a balance. But I feel like there is so little interest in friends' kids here generally that I honestly find it strange and sort of empty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, especially if I have known them since they were small. It's so important that kids have adults who know them over a long time. And kids are inherently interesting to me.

+1

Though I don't feel this way about all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM and she just doesn’t want to use her school time having lunch with you for some reason. Maybe she has plans.

It sounds like this to me too. When I was a SAHM, I would have much preferred to hang out with just the friend. So I’m thinking she has other plans or would rather do something else when her kids are in school.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kid. Some of them I actually like. But not all.

[Anonymous]

Nope.
Zero interest

[Anonymous]

While I wouldn’t necessarily you a “horrible” person for not caring on whether you see your friend’s kids or not - - I personally think it is a little odd.

Reason being is that if you have a good friendship w/someone ➕ you are very close w/them it seems to me that you would by default be close to their loved ones too > especially their children.