College kids increasingly staying closer to home?

[Anonymous]

Hmm. Mine didn’t want in-state. 7 hours away and currently on study abroad in Europe.

Very much a homebody prior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's always been the case that kids generally speaking don't go all that far away for college. Going far away is a DCUM striver kind of thing and it has its consequences. The kids go away to an expensive college with a big name and the parents are happy for four years -- then the kids graduate, don't come back, and raise the grandkids in another city. Your relationship with all of them becomes one of frantic gatherings during holidays and that's about it. The closeness is gone forever.

But, hey, their big name colleges and impressive jobs sure make for good conversation at cocktail parties, eh?

This is exactly what I am afraid of… kids going to far off college then just settling there.

Why would you be upset that your kid became an adult and landed somewhere they desired?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's always been the case that kids generally speaking don't go all that far away for college. Going far away is a DCUM striver kind of thing and it has its consequences. The kids go away to an expensive college with a big name and the parents are happy for four years -- then the kids graduate, don't come back, and raise the grandkids in another city. Your relationship with all of them becomes one of frantic gatherings during holidays and that's about it. The closeness is gone forever.

But, hey, their big name colleges and impressive jobs sure make for good conversation at cocktail parties, eh?

My kid goes to school an hour away but will still end up starting their career in SV 3000 miles away. Thats where the best opportunities reside by far.

Of course, we aren’t curmudgeons thinking they need to come to us…assuming they will be there long term, we have the flexibility to go to them.

Do you plan to move there? Because if you don't, it's the same thing -- frantic holiday visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's always been the case that kids generally speaking don't go all that far away for college. Going far away is a DCUM striver kind of thing and it has its consequences. The kids go away to an expensive college with a big name and the parents are happy for four years -- then the kids graduate, don't come back, and raise the grandkids in another city. Your relationship with all of them becomes one of frantic gatherings during holidays and that's about it. The closeness is gone forever.

But, hey, their big name colleges and impressive jobs sure make for good conversation at cocktail parties, eh?

This is a very interesting view. Like a lot of people on this board, I would love for my child to go to the best college they get into wherever it may be, and pursue their dreams in a city where they can learn and thrive and be successful in their chosen field. I don't want them to go to our state school and live their entire lives in one small part of the country - being exposed to other people who have other backgrounds and beliefs will widen their world immensely. I don't need to name their big name colleges and impressive jobs since I went to two Ivies myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's always been the case that kids generally speaking don't go all that far away for college. Going far away is a DCUM striver kind of thing and it has its consequences. The kids go away to an expensive college with a big name and the parents are happy for four years -- then the kids graduate, don't come back, and raise the grandkids in another city. Your relationship with all of them becomes one of frantic gatherings during holidays and that's about it. The closeness is gone forever.

But, hey, their big name colleges and impressive jobs sure make for good conversation at cocktail parties, eh?

This is a very interesting view. Like a lot of people on this board, I would love for my child to go to the best college they get into wherever it may be, and pursue their dreams in a city where they can learn and thrive and be successful in their chosen field. I don't want them to go to our state school and live their entire lives in one small part of the country - being exposed to other people who have other backgrounds and beliefs will widen their world immensely. I don't need to name their big name colleges and impressive jobs since I went to two Ivies myself.

Yet you still feel compelled to point out that you went to Ivies.

You can do everything that you have just described without living hundreds of thousands of miles away from where you grew up and where your family is. And what the hell are you talking about when you say you want them "being exposed to other people who have other backgrounds and beliefs to widen their world immensely?" The DMV is one of the most diverse in the entire country. You don't have to move to California for diversity for Pete's sake.

And of course you say that for your child now, but a couple decades from now when you barely see you kid and don't know your grandchildren you might hum a different tune.

It's just so odd that y'all want your kids to move away and never come back. Makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's always been the case that kids generally speaking don't go all that far away for college. Going far away is a DCUM striver kind of thing and it has its consequences. The kids go away to an expensive college with a big name and the parents are happy for four years -- then the kids graduate, don't come back, and raise the grandkids in another city. Your relationship with all of them becomes one of frantic gatherings during holidays and that's about it. The closeness is gone forever.

But, hey, their big name colleges and impressive jobs sure make for good conversation at cocktail parties, eh?

That’s an excellent point!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's always been the case that kids generally speaking don't go all that far away for college. Going far away is a DCUM striver kind of thing and it has its consequences. The kids go away to an expensive college with a big name and the parents are happy for four years -- then the kids graduate, don't come back, and raise the grandkids in another city. Your relationship with all of them becomes one of frantic gatherings during holidays and that's about it. The closeness is gone forever.

But, hey, their big name colleges and impressive jobs sure make for good conversation at cocktail parties, eh?

Or maybe this is all just in your head. Definitely not our experience with DC who went to school across the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes it's always been the case that kids generally speaking don't go all that far away for college. Going far away is a DCUM striver kind of thing and it has its consequences. The kids go away to an expensive college with a big name and the parents are happy for four years -- then the kids graduate, don't come back, and raise the grandkids in another city. Your relationship with all of them becomes one of frantic gatherings during holidays and that's about it. The closeness is gone forever.

But, hey, their big name colleges and impressive jobs sure make for good conversation at cocktail parties, eh?

This is a very interesting view. Like a lot of people on this board, I would love for my child to go to the best college they get into wherever it may be, and pursue their dreams in a city where they can learn and thrive and be successful in their chosen field. I don't want them to go to our state school and live their entire lives in one small part of the country - being exposed to other people who have other backgrounds and beliefs will widen their world immensely. I don't need to name their big name colleges and impressive jobs since I went to two Ivies myself.

Yet you still feel compelled to point out that you went to Ivies.

You can do everything that you have just described without living hundreds of thousands of miles away from where you grew up and where your family is. And what the hell are you talking about when you say you want them "being exposed to other people who have other backgrounds and beliefs to widen their world immensely?" The DMV is one of the most diverse in the entire country. You don't have to move to California for diversity for Pete's sake.

And of course you say that for your child now, but a couple decades from now when you barely see you kid and don't know your grandchildren you might hum a different tune.

It's just so odd that y'all want your kids to move away and never come back. Makes no sense.

I don't get the big deal. if my kids are happy and love California, great! They're not obligated to live with me their entire lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious - are the people saying that it’s terrible that kids go far forcing their kids to stay close to home?

I went to school 8 hours from home and eventually settled about 2. But DC is where my parents met and I had extended family still in the burbs.

I had no desire to go to the state school 15 minutes from our house. I didn’t even apply. The closest school I applied to was 1 hour from home. My own child didn’t apply anywhere less than 3 hours from home (those were in VA, though)

Some kids don't care or want to stay close to home. I'm the one who got a list with further schools along with local and my kid is pushing for more local, although ok with the East Coast (except southern states). Not everyone feels the need to get away. If ours goes close, they will live in the dorm. I appreciate the cost savings as I'd rather pay for graduate school and other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious - are the people saying that it’s terrible that kids go far forcing their kids to stay close to home?

I went to school 8 hours from home and eventually settled about 2. But DC is where my parents met and I had extended family still in the burbs.

I had no desire to go to the state school 15 minutes from our house. I didn’t even apply. The closest school I applied to was 1 hour from home. My own child didn’t apply anywhere less than 3 hours from home (those were in VA, though)

Some kids don't care or want to stay close to home. I'm the one who got a list with further schools along with local and my kid is pushing for more local, although ok with the East Coast (except southern states). Not everyone feels the need to get away. If ours goes close, they will live in the dorm. I appreciate the cost savings as I'd rather pay for graduate school and other things.

DP but schooling was cheaper out of state.