Finally separated from cheating man child husband

[Anonymous]

You waited to long to leave his lying azz…

Be thankful you don’t have a mortgage to pay or children to feed with him.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the universe gives us blessings in disguise, OP. This is one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were married to a bad man. You need to accept that. Get into therapy as you have been gaslighted for a long time and it has destroyed your perception of reality.

+1.

This x 1000
Your ex sounds highly narcissistic. He car3/ more about his story than about anyone else’s feelings. He will stop at no end to protect his image and what others think of him. The moment someone stands against his narrative they too will be spun into a villain.

Read up on narcissism, recovering from a narcissistic relationship, what will likely happen now etc… the silver lining here is that regardless of sex, culture, background, narcissists behave shockingly similarly.

And get yourself a great therapist who can help you recover from narcissistic abuse.

[Anonymous]

You will be telling everyone how he did you wrong for a long time. My story is much, much worse with child involved.
At some point you look back and wish you had not wasted the last year on him. Good things are ahead, but your vision is clouded right now.
Moving on and becoming rich made all sadness go away. It does take time though.
I can talk to ex and remind him how stupid he is and was. He agrees too. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. He has told all his friends and family that I was abusive and I terrorized him. His friends have rallied around him and even helped him cheat on me during our marriage. His mom thinks I’m toxic and rude.

Meanwhile in the past 3 years I’ve been dealing with his infidelity ( he’d stay up till 4 am drinking by himself and chatting up girls on dating apps), drinking and not working; refusing to continue ivf or have any discussions about moving forward.

I buried my father, lost 2 babies and dealt with the financial blow of his business failures while he sought escape in alcohol, music and creative endeavors and ultimately other women.

I feel really confused.

Oh OP. Your last line - “I feel confused” - is always my mental note to acknowledge that I am dealing with a person who is trying to distort reality. Yes you are confused, because he was purposefully confusing you. No, there is no reason to try to make it make sense. All that makes sense is what you know (he is a bad person) and nobody can find that away from you. And there is no need for you to try to make any more sense out of it - even though that is what your brain naturally wants. Just tell yourself “that’s right, none of this makes sense, and that is OK”.

I don’t think anyone who knows me would ever believe I am “abusive.” It is preposterous! We went to marriage counseling and the therapist never mentioned that! Yes we had fights; it had to do with me wanting him to not stay up so late and drink alone; not create online dating profiles; find work or work on his business; talk with me so we can continue IVF.

He is reframing all of that as me…abusing him. And when I would he sad and cry he’d say I’m a bad person who is jealous of everyone and I can never be happy.

I usually hate the term DARVO but that is what this is.

Just tell yourself, whatever he needs to say to end this marriage. This is like a child who breaks the rules, mommy punishes him, and he cries and whines.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could take you for a drink. You need a real man like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could take you for a drink. You need a real man like me.

A real man wouldn’t prey on a broken woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You waited to long to leave his lying azz…

Be thankful you don’t have a mortgage to pay or children to feed with him.

I definitely wasted too long! 😭

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP! Much happiness for the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You waited to long to leave his lying azz…

Be thankful you don’t have a mortgage to pay or children to feed with him.

I definitely wasted too long! 😭

😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were married to a bad man. You need to accept that. Get into therapy as you have been gaslighted for a long time and it has destroyed your perception of reality.

+1. He is a bad man. It is not you. And this is classic emotional abuse