How many friends do your upper elementary kids have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10 year old has a dozen really close friends. I think it's totally fine to have fewer friends. Sometimes you just need one. TBH it's a bit of a pain for her to juggle weekends, birthday parties, and her social calendar in general

I’m not sure you can call 12 ten year old close friends. More like he has 12 friends. My daughter had two close friends in 4th grade and they were together a lot. Every Wednesday they came over and we went to the Y. I can’t imagine 13 kids getting together a lot.

Kids don’t need a lot of very close friends. They have school, activities, family, they don’t have that many free hours.

They all eat lunch and play together at recess. They get together as a group every weekend. Of course not everyone makes it out every time but it feels close to her.

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old 7th grader has about 6 friends which is 5 more than she had in 4th and 5th grade, LOL. They don't actually do anything outside of school other than birthday parties, though.

My 4th grader has 3 good friends and some acquaintances/team mates. Only one of those good friends is a playdate friend though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10 year old has a dozen really close friends. I think it's totally fine to have fewer friends. Sometimes you just need one. TBH it's a bit of a pain for her to juggle weekends, birthday parties, and her social calendar in general

I’m not sure you can call 12 ten year old close friends. More like he has 12 friends. My daughter had two close friends in 4th grade and they were together a lot. Every Wednesday they came over and we went to the Y. I can’t imagine 13 kids getting together a lot.

Kids don’t need a lot of very close friends. They have school, activities, family, they don’t have that many free hours.

I would say at least 25 kids he considers friends too. A few closer than others

[Anonymous]

6th grader has a group of 3 or 4 very close friends but about 10 she happily hangs out with regularly. A couple have phones but none are on social media. There are occasional rumors of dating in her class (and were in 5th too), but none of her close friends.

My middle schooler probably only had one close friend at school and one through an activity in upper elementary and was pretty lonely. It can be a brutal time for girls if they are in a cliquey grade.

[Anonymous]

Help her make lots of friends in a variety of settings. Find activities outside of school she likes (sports, dance, chess, whatever) and foster relationships through that. Encourage band or strings or chorus at school, as that can become a good social group. Do summer swim or summer camps with different groups of kids. Foster relationships with neighbors who may be a grade up or down from her, so it's separate from school stuff. Ask her teacher about kids in class who would be good to connect with, maybe some quiet kids who haven't made connections, and you can plan some playdates. As a mom of kids in high school, middle, and elementary, it is much much better for them to have friendships in many places. Being in a clique really limits the kids and creates a lot of unneeded social stress. You don't want that, but you do want her to have skills to make new friendships and to have connections with a variety of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help her make lots of friends in a variety of settings. Find activities outside of school she likes (sports, dance, chess, whatever) and foster relationships through that. Encourage band or strings or chorus at school, as that can become a good social group. Do summer swim or summer camps with different groups of kids. Foster relationships with neighbors who may be a grade up or down from her, so it's separate from school stuff. Ask her teacher about kids in class who would be good to connect with, maybe some quiet kids who haven't made connections, and you can plan some playdates. As a mom of kids in high school, middle, and elementary, it is much much better for them to have friendships in many places. Being in a clique really limits the kids and creates a lot of unneeded social stress. You don't want that, but you do want her to have skills to make new friendships and to have connections with a variety of kids.

PP here. To answer your question, my DD in upper elem has a close neighborhood friend who is in the grade above her, another neighborhood friend (boy) who she doesn't hang out with at school, but they'll play outdoors together on weekends, a few summer swim friends who go to different schools, a small group of 4 girls she always plays with at recess, a group of scouts friends who she goes to school with but are separate from the recess friends, and a couple other friends she had in class in past years, and we've kept connections thru playdates because they are good friendships for her. We plan day off or summer camps with some of those friends too.

[Anonymous]

My little soda pop

[Anonymous]

My son is in 5th grade and has a small group of friends (4 other boys) and they rarely hang out beyond bday parties. I honestly wonder if he thinks they are closer friends than they are, but we’ve had them over for a few play dates. He is also autistic (low support needs/level 1) so he struggles socially.

My 2nd grade son is apparently a friend to every child in his class. He has regular play dates but I hear him mostly talking about probably 5-6 other boys. The little girls also play with him but he prefers playing with the boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably about a dozen? Nine are dating or on social media. 4th grade.

I know from experience these kids will also be the first having sexual encounters.

Shit, I meant to say NONE! Not nine! Oh my god I always check for typos - not sure how I missed that one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably about a dozen? Nine are dating or on social media. 4th grade.

I know from experience these kids will also be the first having sexual encounters.

Shit, I meant to say NONE! Not nine! Oh my god I always check for typos - not sure how I missed that one.

LOLOL!!!!

[Anonymous]

I think it was whodini who once said “friends joe many of us have them,friends ones we can depend on”

[Anonymous]

DD had no friends before 4th, then made 1 friend at 4th, and made more friends in the 1st friend’s circle. Through the years some friends shifted apart due to different interests ( read books during lunch, some good at sports, not into boys nor makeup etc), and the current friends in the circle eats lunch together even they’re in different MS classes.

[Anonymous]

My son is in 5th grade and has two very close best friends, a girl he's known since daycare and another boy who joined them in K. A few others have come and gone over the years, but they've been his only two constants. He's not into sports, tiktok or anything like that and prefers having this small tight knit group.

[Anonymous]

It's totally normal to prefer quality over quantity

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I wonder if it's just my 3rd grade DS that is clueless or if boys are just different from girls. I see girls with best friends, having sleepovers, excluding others. With DS he comes home after 2 days of class with a new group and he says he already has "so many friends." Or he will say "Chris and I are friends!" and it's a kid he has seen at played with at recess maybe 5 times. It's been 2 weeks of school and he says, "Larlo and I talk like every day! We are best friends." I have no idea if Larlo would say the same.