How do you deal with eye rolling and complaining?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So they can tell me (for example, like the lunch thing you mentioned) - “hey mom, I’m really feeling overwhelmed in the morning with getting ready for school on time, and when you ask me about lunch it feels like one more thing I need to deal with. Can you please assume I always want X for lunch instead of asking me every day?” Demands, an annoyed tone, or an eye roll would mean I stop making lunch and they can figure it out for the day.

sorry but most adults I know can't express themselves that respectfully. this is far beyond what i view as achievable for a 10yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So they can tell me (for example, like the lunch thing you mentioned) - “hey mom, I’m really feeling overwhelmed in the morning with getting ready for school on time, and when you ask me about lunch it feels like one more thing I need to deal with. Can you please assume I always want X for lunch instead of asking me every day?” Demands, an annoyed tone, or an eye roll would mean I stop making lunch and they can figure it out for the day.

I agree. It’s up to the adult to stop and empathize and verbalize all that for the child (and also tell her it’s NOT ok to express it through being rude). But I’ll be honest and say I can’t always do that as the adult because I get angry.

sorry but most adults I know can't express themselves that respectfully. this is far beyond what i view as achievable for a 10yo

[Anonymous]

I can't and won't police feelings. They can feel whatever. But when it crosses into actions and then affects me then it's a problem.
eye rolls are disrespectful and I wouldn't have made lunch either.
I have a 9 year old. Happy to make her lunch every day. Would have had the same reaction as you.