PSA: Target sells vibrators

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CVS has a rather impressive selection of “marital aids” (LOL).

Seriously: that’s what they used to call them back in the day!

I'd love to hear the story of how that term came to be...

It started back in 1920. Homer Dekant was newly married to his beautiful, kind, and accomplished wife, Ethel. Both were virgins when they married, and although they'd "explored" a bit, neither was experienced. And while sex was good -- especially for Homer! -- it wasn't earth shattering for Ethel. Or even entirely fulfilling. Marital life was breaking down as Ethel was not getting off but was expected for fulfill all of her wifely duties. She was cranky and annoyed at her bridegroom, and they were barely married 6 months!

Needless to say, the advice Ethel was getting from her mother ("Just lie back and it will be over shortly, dear" and "it's your marital responsibility") was completely unsatisfactory. Homer was equally unhelpful, having been subject to years of misinformation about women and women's bodies. Homer's dad would have actually been able to help Homer, (after maybe hemming and hawing a bit) had Homer brought up the subject with him, having gone through a similar conundrum early in his marriage. But Homer was not brave enough to talk to his father.

Ethel didn't know where to turn. She saw how unfair it was for Homer to find exquisite satisfaction. And she knew from her girlfriends that there was more to sex than just that nice feeling she got from the closeness. She wanted sex to be the bee's knees, the cat's meow, the real McCoy! She wanted to scream Whoopee!

Tentatively, she approached Homer. He, of course, got defensive and told her that was how sex was supposed to feel. Then he told her it was her fault. Then he sulked for a bit. But, being the good man he was, he decided to do some research. The evidence doesn't show exactly where he turned. The library? A doctor? A priest? A whore? Somebody down at the gin mill? We may never know. But suffice it to say he came home to Ethel with a small tool (or maybe not that small) and discreetly left it on her bedside table.

When Homer went to work that week Ethel opened the package while sitting on her bed. Unsure of what it was she examined it -- the shape gave her a clue, but the plug --? confusing, but she plugged it in and decided to explore a bit. Oh, my! That WAS hotsy-totsy!

Well, that little marital aid saved their marriage. Ethel was supremely happy with the results. Homer was overjoyed. Homer bought many many more marital aids like vacuums, washing machines, and stand mixers. But the little vibrator was certainly Ethel's favorite.

I think you are awesome and talented!

Bravo!!! Best thing I have read in days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gross

What is gross?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gross

Oh looky, it's Aunt Lydia. Blessed be the fruit! May the Lord open.

[Anonymous]

People still shop at Target stores?? Haven't been to one since the 1990s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gross

Oh looky, it's Aunt Lydia. Blessed be the fruit! May the Lord open.

You mean Grandma Lydia

[Anonymous]

So does CVS! My kid said- look there's a personal massager! I DIED. Then laughed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gross

Oh looky, it's Aunt Lydia. Blessed be the fruit! May the Lord open.

You mean Grandma Lydia

No girl- go watch Handmaids Tale.

[Anonymous]

So does Amazon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still not going back in Target.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CVS too!! And much more …

But i only go into CVS for Rx so if i get a discrete little package from them DH will be suspicious. But yet another box from Target is nothing

DH wouldn't approve? Said toy wouldn’t be part of your marital relations?

[Anonymous]

i think walmart does too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CVS too!! And much more …

But i only go into CVS for Rx so if i get a discrete little package from them DH will be suspicious. But yet another box from Target is nothing

DH wouldn't approve? Said toy wouldn’t be part of your marital relations?

We haven't done it in years (his choice) so we DADT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can all my errands done. So handy! See what i did there? Prices are good too.

No, it doesn't.

Fact check it does: https://www.target.com/c/vibrators-adult-toys-sexual-wellness-health/-/N-xdeuj
it's under Health, pick up or delivery

Nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So does Amazon.

Sure, but:

Then afterwards, Amazon constantly displays: “based on your past searches, here are more s*xual wellness product suggestions for you.”

And then your daughter or son needs to borrow your laptop. Maybe they need to buy something on Amazon, and they open Amazon’s page, and then,

“MOM! Ewwww!!!! How could you?!?! What the heck, MOM!!!!!”

And then it’s awkward for days. And you just want to die of embarrassment and regret using Amazon (ask me how I know).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So does Amazon.

Sure, but:

Then afterwards, Amazon constantly displays: “based on your past searches, here are more s*xual wellness product suggestions for you.”

And then your daughter or son needs to borrow your laptop. Maybe they need to buy something on Amazon, and they open Amazon’s page, and then,

“MOM! Ewwww!!!! How could you?!?! What the heck, MOM!!!!!”

And then it’s awkward for days. And you just want to die of embarrassment and regret using Amazon (ask me how I know).

Me too, girl, me too