Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perfect age! Start with being in the same room, but depending on her maturity level, you may quickly feel confident allowing her to be in a room alone for short periods with one baby.

If you're lucky, she will "grow" with your family, and you'll have a reliable independent babysitter in a few years.

+1

I think a 12 year old can potentially do a lot of care, even of infants, but don't assume she knows anything. Be sure to talk to her about the most important dangers, like babies or toddlers putting small objects in their mouths, not leaving them alone on a couch or chair they could fall off of, etc. So at first you'll likely be doing some training, but she'll likely learn very quickly.

I'm a mom of middle schoolers who started babysitting at 11, for very young kids, even newborns, which honestly shocks me. This wasn't being a mothers helper - I was alone with them for 4-6 hours at a time. And earning $1/hr per kid. Lol, times change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfect age! Start with being in the same room, but depending on her maturity level, you may quickly feel confident allowing her to be in a room alone for short periods with one baby.

If you're lucky, she will "grow" with your family, and you'll have a reliable independent babysitter in a few years.

+1

I think a 12 year old can potentially do a lot of care, even of infants, but don't assume she knows anything. Be sure to talk to her about the most important dangers, like babies or toddlers putting small objects in their mouths, not leaving them alone on a couch or chair they could fall off of, etc. So at first you'll likely be doing some training, but she'll likely learn very quickly.

I'm a mom of middle schoolers who started babysitting at 11, for very young kids, even newborns, which honestly shocks me. This wasn't being a mothers helper - I was alone with them for 4-6 hours at a time. And earning $1/hr per kid. Lol, times change.

Ha, me too. Started babysitting at 12, parents would be gone for hours. Babysitters back in the 80s earned very little. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all! I feel so much better about this! My SIL spooked me by saying I'll end paying to babysit the 12 year old and now have to entertain her too. But I really think it will be helpful to have the extra hands once a week and yes I'm a few years having someone we trust to actually babysit would be amazing if this works out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems fine to me! I am assuming you find her mature and will assess her skills as she starts working with your babies. How old are the twins? At 12 I did a lot of babysitting and people left me in charge of lots of babies all alone. Seems hard to believe today.

I meant to add - I’m sure you will feel comfortable leaving the room pretty soon if it’s going well with her! Hard to get anything done otherwise. Give yourself a break.

I was also full-on babysitting at 12. I think it's entirely kid dependent but if she is responsible feel free to leave the room for some of the time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all! I feel so much better about this! My SIL spooked me by saying I'll end paying to babysit the 12 year old and now have to entertain her too. But I really think it will be helpful to have the extra hands once a week and yes I'm a few years having someone we trust to actually babysit would be amazing if this works out

Has your SIL ever been around a 12 yo? They don’t need entertaining and certainly don’t need babysitting. Honestly you should just do a trial run and see if you’re comfortable with her. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfect age! Start with being in the same room, but depending on her maturity level, you may quickly feel confident allowing her to be in a room alone for short periods with one baby.

If you're lucky, she will "grow" with your family, and you'll have a reliable independent babysitter in a few years.

+1

I think a 12 year old can potentially do a lot of care, even of infants, but don't assume she knows anything. Be sure to talk to her about the most important dangers, like babies or toddlers putting small objects in their mouths, not leaving them alone on a couch or chair they could fall off of, etc. So at first you'll likely be doing some training, but she'll likely learn very quickly.

I'm a mom of middle schoolers who started babysitting at 11, for very young kids, even newborns, which honestly shocks me. This wasn't being a mothers helper - I was alone with them for 4-6 hours at a time. And earning $1/hr per kid. Lol, times change.

I also started at 11 and earned 2$/hr if I remember correctly. Kids weren't babies, but I did a lot of playing with them as toddlers/preK kids and learned a lot about kids. Mom seemed to appreciate it a lot, and wasn't typically in the same room, but was nearly always in earshot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all! I feel so much better about this! My SIL spooked me by saying I'll end paying to babysit the 12 year old and now have to entertain her too. But I really think it will be helpful to have the extra hands once a week and yes I'm a few years having someone we trust to actually babysit would be amazing if this works out

Has your SIL ever been around a 12 yo? They don’t need entertaining and certainly don’t need babysitting. Honestly you should just do a trial run and see if you’re comfortable with her. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

+1 Some 12 yo are mature, love kids and are great. Some, not so much. You'll be able to tell which one you have after 1 hour.

[Anonymous]

I started babysitting at age 11, all ages, for a couple hours. I loved it.

[Anonymous]

I did this with my friend’s daughter. It was great. I still did diaper changes, though.

[Anonymous]

At 12 I was babysitting multiple children and an infant for several hours alone. I am sure she will be a big help to you.

[Anonymous]

At 12 I was absolutely babysitting alone. Mother's helper is like 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is 12 an okay age for a mother's helper? There is a girl down the street that wants to get experience before she is babysitting age and her mom reached out to me and offered her services as a mother's helper.

I have twins and would never ever leave her in the same room alone with my babies ever but as an extra pair of hands? Good idea? Bad?

She charges $5-10/hour and can help out 2hrs a day 2x a week. If love to be able to put laundry away or make dinner. I know this child won't have actual responsibility besides playing with baby and tbh probably just one baby. I can wear one and trade off.

Am I crazy for considering?

Again I would be in the same room at all times.

You can do a trial but I would pay $5 an hour, not $10. $10 is absurd and you are basically babysitting and supervising her daughter in less the mom plans to come to train her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you’re a little too neurotic to actually benefit from such an opportunity (are you literally going to have the mothers helper trail you room to room as you do laundry, make dinner, etc???…please don’t subject her to this!)

but yes for most people with more reasonable boundaries this would be a great option to get a little bit of a break at a very reasonable rate.

Yes, let’s attack op for wanting to make sure she is creating a safe and productive time situation for everyone involved. She should just jump into this arrangement without thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 12 I was absolutely babysitting alone. Mother's helper is like 10.

I was babysitting at 12, but not four kids under 2. I don’t like leaving babies with even older teens.

[Anonymous]

Yes! If you develop confidence in the 12 year old's skills and decision making, then you can leave the room to get stuff done without either of the twins. You'll see what kind of decision making she has, and you'll be modeling if you play with them while she's there. How old are they?

I did this when I was 10 years old - only 1 9 month old, but she very quickly left me in a room alone while she was on the same floor in another room.