Bday card from inlaws

[Anonymous]

My reaction upon reading it was “wow that’s so sweet.”

They love their grandkids more than life itself and are expressing that they wouldn’t have them if not for you. It’s a way of saying thank you for making a great joy possible. It doesn’t negate that you have other great qualities and accomplishments beyond having babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I’d be bothered. It sounds like they aren’t appreciating you for being you. Just your output, so to speak.

This is so odd to me to think that way, though. My MIL is so kind. She frequently compliments me. She will say i am funny or she is impressed with my job, etc. But on a bday card she always writes what a great mom I am. It is the highest compliment she can give and it would be silly to write something like “to our funny DIL with a great career ….happy birthday!”

Turn it around, by the way. How often do you appreciate your MIL as a person?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you look for the worst in everything, OP.

I try to stay away from negative people like you.

[Anonymous]

What a lovely sentiment! NO, this wouldn't bother me.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have an issue.

[Anonymous]

My mother writes cringe-worthy things in every birthday and anniversary card I get from her these days. Sharing the weirdness with my sisters is one of the things that we have bonded over in recent years.

Laugh it off, share it for a laugh with your sibling or husband, and move on.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like my in-laws. I could either let everything they do bother me, or I could not think that hard about it. I have chosen to do the latter and recommend you do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh gawd, how could you find this insulting? I mean surely they treasure your kids and are grateful for how you’ve raised them. That’s so nice of them to say.

Her card sounds wonderful and lovely

[Anonymous]

Meh, you're just a breeder to them. At least they gave you a card and not just a text? lol.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother once wrote a similar card to my mom. She was offended but she didn’t like my dad’s Mom and was probably looking for things about her to piss her off. Sounds the same here.

[Anonymous]

I like it better than the "Happy Birthday" written on a piece of scrap paper that I once got from my ILs.

[Anonymous]

OP you’re a shrew.

[Anonymous]

I think it sounds lovely. A bit weird they focused on grandchildren instead of you being a nice spouse for their son.

My parents and inlaws have been more sentimental as they get older. My dad has 5 very close friends that he has seen weekly for decades. He's the only one who had grandchildren and they're all in their 70s. My mom has friends that are the same. I think they now see that they almost didn't get any grandchildren! None of our siblings had children either, so ours are the only ones on both sides and we had 3. I think so many Boomers just assumed grandchildren would happen for them and it didn't. My best friend's mom cried tears of joy once her daughter finally got engaged at almost 40 because she'd get a shot at grandchildren (which was totally a weird moment).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you look for the worst in everything, OP.

I try to stay away from negative people like you.

OP sounds like she's always looking for something to be outraged and unhappy about. You just know she's a joy to live with on a day-to-day basis.

[Anonymous]

I’m not naturally good at assuming best intentions, but I’m working on it. Maybe you could consider that too.