Social life for non athletic boy at mid sized private vs SLAC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nephew graduated from Middlebury last year. Loves to trail run outside and to hike but no t into competitive sports at all. He loved his 4 years there. Classic pre-med bio major he found plenty of opportunities to get clinical hours and such as well with strong support from the school. He is in Med School this year without needing the typical gap year.

OP, Middlebury sounds like a perfect LAC for your DS to consider!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is it easier for a somewhat nerdy, somewhat artsy boy not planning to play club sports to find friends at a mid sized private (brown, tufts, case western) where there are more people to choose from but it might be harder to find your people, or at a SLAC (WASP, Wesleyan, Haverford, Bates) where there is more more of a community and it is easier to meet people but not as many male friend options, especially if the varsity athletes tend to do their own thing. Not looking at schools where Greek is a big presence.

My DS sounds similar. He is active and fit, loves to play soccer recreationally and ski, rock climb, hike, etc. but isn't into varsity or club sports. Would Swarthmore, Carleton, Macalester, Vassar, Middlebury, or Reed fit the bill? I do agree that larger schools may offer more options for friend groups.

[Anonymous]

As a source for ideas, the Princeton Review provides survey results for schools with the friendliest-students:

Friendliest Students | The Princeton Review https://www.princetonreview.com/college-rankings/?rankings=friendliest-students

[Anonymous]

DC fits those categories and is having a good experience at his SLAC. Joining clubs helped him a lot.

[Anonymous]

You already mentioned it, but Wesleyan would be perfect for this kind of student. Larger than most SLACs, so there's a bigger social pool, no all-male frats (and very little Greek life overall), and plenty of artsy/creative, non-athletic guys.

[Anonymous]

Unless your boy is super artsy then Wesleyan is not a good choice if you are cutting out the athletes. To the point that some boys are wearing skirts. Just look around on the tour. Of course, you can be friends with athletes (or boys in skirts) regardless if you are playing a sport.

[Anonymous]

Carleton is known for having nice kids, Oberlin and Colorado College could fit the bill too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar kid at Davidson and loving it. He turned down Tufts and Georgetown after admitted students events. Highly recommend visiting all the schools mentioned to see where your son is most happy.

Was also going to suggest Davidson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is it easier for a somewhat nerdy, somewhat artsy boy not planning to play club sports to find friends at a mid sized private (brown, tufts, case western) where there are more people to choose from but it might be harder to find your people, or at a SLAC (WASP, Wesleyan, Haverford, Bates) where there is more more of a community and it is easier to meet people but not as many male friend options, especially if the varsity athletes tend to do their own thing. Not looking at schools where Greek is a big presence.

I think SLACs these days can be tough for boys who are not recruited athletes and have no interest in sports. The nature of these schools is that they are very small. Athletes generally keep to themselves. They have different schedules and priorities than other students. Which is normal. At larger D1 colleges that's not an issue at all. Athletes don't change the social vibe at Stanford or MIT or Brown or Case Western and so on.

But you can really feel that separation at small schools. Williams, Amherst, and Bowdoin are roughly 35-40 percent athletes. So too are Bates, Haverford, Colby and many others. That's a lot of guys who are generally taken out of the social pool when it comes to making friends.

I have two boys so we looked into this. Both smart, athletic, and very social. One was even recruited by a bunch of D3 schools for his sport. But he was interested in engineering, so SLACs didn't work for him. And neither wanted to be a full time athlete in college regardless. They both noped out of considering SLACs. Too small. Too limited in social opportunities. Too bifurcated for men. A SLAC is such a roll of the dice for the non-athlete guys. Maybe you get lucky and find a good friend group freshman year. But if you don't, you are out of options when you attend a school in the middle of nowhere that is smaller than most high schools. It's a substantial risk for guys not on the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is it easier for a somewhat nerdy, somewhat artsy boy not planning to play club sports to find friends at a mid sized private (brown, tufts, case western) where there are more people to choose from but it might be harder to find your people, or at a SLAC (WASP, Wesleyan, Haverford, Bates) where there is more more of a community and it is easier to meet people but not as many male friend options, especially if the varsity athletes tend to do their own thing. Not looking at schools where Greek is a big presence.

I think SLACs these days can be tough for boys who are not recruited athletes and have no interest in sports. The nature of these schools is that they are very small. Athletes generally keep to themselves. They have different schedules and priorities than other students. Which is normal. At larger D1 colleges that's not an issue at all. Athletes don't change the social vibe at Stanford or MIT or Brown or Case Western and so on.

But you can really feel that separation at small schools. Williams, Amherst, and Bowdoin are roughly 35-40 percent athletes. So too are Bates, Haverford, Colby and many others. That's a lot of guys who are generally taken out of the social pool when it comes to making friends.

I have two boys so we looked into this. Both smart, athletic, and very social. One was even recruited by a bunch of D3 schools for his sport. But he was interested in engineering, so SLACs didn't work for him. And neither wanted to be a full time athlete in college regardless. They both noped out of considering SLACs. Too small. Too limited in social opportunities. Too bifurcated for men. A SLAC is such a roll of the dice for the non-athlete guys. Maybe you get lucky and find a good friend group freshman year. But if you don't, you are out of options when you attend a school in the middle of nowhere that is smaller than most high schools. It's a substantial risk for guys not on the team.

Spoken by an ignorant parent without kids at a SLAC. Conjecture does not equal reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is at a SLAC and it can be very tough for boys not in a sport or not in a frat. If going for a school with less than 3000 kids, find one without frats.

This is excellent advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is it easier for a somewhat nerdy, somewhat artsy boy not planning to play club sports to find friends at a mid sized private (brown, tufts, case western) where there are more people to choose from but it might be harder to find your people, or at a SLAC (WASP, Wesleyan, Haverford, Bates) where there is more more of a community and it is easier to meet people but not as many male friend options, especially if the varsity athletes tend to do their own thing. Not looking at schools where Greek is a big presence.

I think SLACs these days can be tough for boys who are not recruited athletes and have no interest in sports. The nature of these schools is that they are very small. Athletes generally keep to themselves. They have different schedules and priorities than other students. Which is normal. At larger D1 colleges that's not an issue at all. Athletes don't change the social vibe at Stanford or MIT or Brown or Case Western and so on.

But you can really feel that separation at small schools. Williams, Amherst, and Bowdoin are roughly 35-40 percent athletes. So too are Bates, Haverford, Colby and many others. That's a lot of guys who are generally taken out of the social pool when it comes to making friends.

I have two boys so we looked into this. Both smart, athletic, and very social. One was even recruited by a bunch of D3 schools for his sport. But he was interested in engineering, so SLACs didn't work for him. And neither wanted to be a full time athlete in college regardless. They both noped out of considering SLACs. Too small. Too limited in social opportunities. Too bifurcated for men. A SLAC is such a roll of the dice for the non-athlete guys. Maybe you get lucky and find a good friend group freshman year. But if you don't, you are out of options when you attend a school in the middle of nowhere that is smaller than most high schools. It's a substantial risk for guys not on the team.

Spoken by an ignorant parent without kids at a SLAC. Conjecture does not equal reality.

Clearly, honesty is not your best quality.

[Anonymous]

I know Bates and Skidmore have camping, rafting and other outdoorsy off sites/overnights during freshman orientation week, which is a great way to meet new people. Maybe ask around at the other SLACs when you’re touring to see what their freshman programming looks like.

[Anonymous]

65% are not athletes.

As my kid said, don’t worry. There’s a subset of guys I’m going to avoid at ANY school and it’s about 1/3 of them. Do those guys overlap w the lax bros? Yes. So who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is it easier for a somewhat nerdy, somewhat artsy boy not planning to play club sports to find friends at a mid sized private (brown, tufts, case western) where there are more people to choose from but it might be harder to find your people, or at a SLAC (WASP, Wesleyan, Haverford, Bates) where there is more more of a community and it is easier to meet people but not as many male friend options, especially if the varsity athletes tend to do their own thing. Not looking at schools where Greek is a big presence.

I think SLACs these days can be tough for boys who are not recruited athletes and have no interest in sports. The nature of these schools is that they are very small. Athletes generally keep to themselves. They have different schedules and priorities than other students. Which is normal. At larger D1 colleges that's not an issue at all. Athletes don't change the social vibe at Stanford or MIT or Brown or Case Western and so on.

But you can really feel that separation at small schools. Williams, Amherst, and Bowdoin are roughly 35-40 percent athletes. So too are Bates, Haverford, Colby and many others. That's a lot of guys who are generally taken out of the social pool when it comes to making friends.

I have two boys so we looked into this. Both smart, athletic, and very social. One was even recruited by a bunch of D3 schools for his sport. But he was interested in engineering, so SLACs didn't work for him. And neither wanted to be a full time athlete in college regardless. They both noped out of considering SLACs. Too small. Too limited in social opportunities. Too bifurcated for men. A SLAC is such a roll of the dice for the non-athlete guys. Maybe you get lucky and find a good friend group freshman year. But if you don't, you are out of options when you attend a school in the middle of nowhere that is smaller than most high schools. It's a substantial risk for guys not on the team.

Spoken by an ignorant parent without kids at a SLAC. Conjecture does not equal reality.

Clearly, honesty is not your best quality.

Clearly intelligence and integrity aren’t your best qualities.