How homesick is normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My god let the poor child come home and regroup

Agree. If logistics allow, we always told ourselves that they can come home if they want. Our son went off to college determined to come home for every Commanders game. We said "sure." He ended up coming home twice. Now, Sophomore year we'll be lucky to see him before Thanksgiving, I'm afraid. I'm convinced that letting them know that they always have a home to come home too helps give them the sense of security they need to get through the rough adjustment phases.

[Anonymous]

If they are homesick, tell them to walk down the dorm hall and find someone to cry with. Complain to. Swap high school stories. It's called bonding.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t have to travel too far, visit over the weekend and take your child to lunch. This transition can be hard, and it takes time. We have told our kids that college was the best time of our life, but that didn’t happen the first week or month.

[Anonymous]

Encourage them to be as busy as possible. Get out of the dorm, go for a walk, go to the gym, run an errand, go to the library etc. I think the worst thing they can do is lay in bed

[Anonymous]

Telling kids that college was “best time of your life” creates a huge amount of pressure. And this is an unrealistic expectation for most students (and sad - everything is downhill from age 21 on????).

[Anonymous]

Google The W Curve and college freshman. It will explain to both of you it is normal. Massive culture shock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kid is having a rough go.

My DD was homesick for 2 years - less the second year but it was still there and it was really bad at times.
She couldn't be happier now. It's really hard OP but it will get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Telling kids that college was “best time of your life” creates a huge amount of pressure. And this is an unrealistic expectation for most students (and sad - everything is downhill from age 21 on????).

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s normal. And it’s hard. Everyone has to lean into it. Go read some Harlan Cohen. He has great posts on IG for both kids and parents.

I like his stuff. He said do not take an 8 am class even if you think you are a morning person. His reasoning was things change, and it is very likely you will not be getting as much sleep as you did in high school.

[Anonymous]

https://harlancohen.substack.com/p/homesickness-in-college-its-in-the

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://harlancohen.substack.com/p/homesickness-in-college-its-in-the

+10000
Every parent of a college student and hs senior should read this. EXCELLENT TIPS!
I hope OP sees this.

[Anonymous]

I loved the article above and shared with my DS studying abroad and calling homesick / teary. Gave me hope and courage to be strong for DS.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all!!!

[Anonymous]

Oh, no, my DC doesn’t miss home at all. If we don’t call him, he doesn’t call us. When we called him, he only answered questions with the least words, no more. Well, he generally doesn’t chat much. But still… seems harder for parents.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's normal but it still can be very traumatic for both the student and the parents.
For those parents with younger kids this is why you want to push them into sleep away camps- experience homesickness and being dropped into a totally new environment without their parents. Much harder to adjust for kids where college is their first significant experience away from home.