Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids are 4 and 7. My 4 year old has been described as advanced linguistically by her teachers and pediatrician. She speaks in complex sentences and has a strong expressive and receptive language skills. She and her brother are asking point blank questions about why their niece can not/will not communicate (their words, not mine). They’ve tried signs, gestures, simplifying questions, etc. they want to know what’s up. None of that is to say they and we aren’t modeling playing and including their cousin. They will even say to new kids who they meet at the park “m is working her words” when kids ask why she doesn’t speak. We aren’t rude and unkind, of course we include her and play with her, we let her be independent while offering support as we would to any 3 year old. Fairly certain my kids aren’t the issue here, I want to know how to answer their questions.
I do wonder if I have the entire story. And I have no way of finding out if I do or not. I’m not sure it would matter significantly here. I’ve seen the diagnosis paper that my mom was shown. My husband has extensive experience working with nonverbal children with autism. It’s not the first time we, or our kids, have been around children who don’t speak. We have tried to help my mom understand how important it is for my niece to have some kind of expressive language which is what led to her learning and teaching the signs. My mom has taken over managing the weekly speech sessions bc my brother and his wife are in denial. We are trying to get more speech sessions weekly, whether at home or at a center/office. It also sounds like my mom is running into Medicaid limiting how much she can get right now it seems.
Our nephew has similar challenges. The diagnosis really doesn’t matter, so you can say something like “Larlo is still working on their words, this is how they communicate yes/ no” You may need to provide guidance on how to ask questions to get a response. Or it may be a word-free engagement. I like to make sure to use the word “yet” if I have to say something like “Larlo can’t answer that yet” to hold space for their learning and growth.
For my kids, waiting for a response was the hardest part. They aren’t patient, but once they realized their cousin would answer in some way if given the space to do so, their waiting improved a lot.