I can give you one reason we did: my kid is not going to marry someone with 200k in student loans. Now, maybe they won’t marry someone from college. Fine. But if they do, they’ll either be wealthy or they got plenty of aid. I’ve seen too many of my friends weighed down by partners debt (and then sometimes divorce anyway in their 40s) |
Are lower and middle-class family is going to get the same amount of assistance to go to Ohio State or UCLA as they do at rich need blind Private schools? Not sure but if you can get yourself into some top schools you can get significant financial assistance and a very fine education. |
Fair point, though families in the 85-95%ile will actually qualify for the most need-based aid from the top schools: Princeton Penn MIT Yale provide aid for household incomes up to around 250k. The rest of the ivy+ is up to 200ish as a need-aid cutoff. Marginally lower ranked privates in the 24-30 range are no where close to the same financial aid yet almost as hard to get accepted to. For the full pay families, which we are (as well as former low income/FG), some will want to pay for the name, of course, and some are so rich they do not consider 93k a year expensive. Others will want to spend the $ even if they are not too far above the full-pay line of 250kish because our experience at similar schools made a lasting positive impression based on the experience. I wanted my kids to have what I had: uber smart peer group who became lifelong friends, small classes with engaged faculty. I wanted our kids to have a chance at the same and are quite happy and proud to be full pay as well as to donate to financial aid for the next generation who needs aid. Mine are at different ivy/elites than I attended and so far it is beyond their and our expectations, and frankly less rich-white/pretentious than our DMV private school which is a welcome change. Hopefully our third gets into a similar level of school. |
Which careers? |
if the goal is marrying top 1% then go to Colorado college or Baylor, there are many more 1%ers there than at elite schools. |
law |
Truth at D24’s ivy compared to the private high school |
NP. Different game entirely, because the law school matters, not the undergrad. |
I think you missed the point. The point is that “elite” jobs are not the only possible career path (the example of regional employees recruiting from regional schools); and that not going to an elite school does not completely bar you from an “elite” job. IOW - the panic is not justified unless you are deadset on maximizing your child’s changes of working at Goldmans (which is a pretty pathetic way to parent but you do you). I also think the vignette about the job at Illumination was great. mainly because she ended up with an absolute dream job (designing rides at Universal, OMG!!) that is SO much more fun and better than all the miserable money you get working at McKinsey. Which one among us would rather our kid end up a management consultant than designing 3D rides? I hope not many. And also because it shows that while many smart kids to to Ivys there IS a cultural or values issue - privileged kids think they don’t need to do the grunt work or think it is not part of the path to success. I have absolutely seen this at my Ivy law school where it seemed like people literally could not conceive of any path other than BigLaw. |
Sure if your only goal for your kids is that they enter the 1% and marry rich - you should sweat getting them into Princeton. I don’t think that is the only goal most parents have for their kids. Maybe I am wrong. |
Lol. So you spent an extra $100k on tuition to prevent your child from marrying someone with $200k student loan debt? Leaving aside the absurdness of thinking you can control who your child marries, you could have just invested that $100k for future needs. |
I’m at one of the most desirable government attorney jobs in DC (FinReg) and we have a broad diversity of law schools and colleges represented. I think that is what you Ivy obsessed don’t get: even if Harvard opens some doors those doors are not closed to everyone else. |
Don’t you think it is possible that that an Ivy accepted them because they were smart rather than it made them smart? |
Also, why would anyone believe that everyone at elite schools graduates debt-free? There are definitely kids at elite schools with substantial student debt. That’s what happens when the “meets needs” financial aid doesn’t meet the family’s true need. |
My niece just started at a $$$ elite school full pay. If she marries a full pay fellow student that means that collectively they will have paid $500k more to the school than if they went to the (very good) state flagship they both could have attended. So if their parents had invested that $500k instead of spending it on tuition this young couple could buy a house when they get married with that money. |