Is it possible to be comfortable and stylish in your 40s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dresses are way more comfy than pants. I've had luck at Boden and Ann Taylor (though I'm taller and larger than you). Wedges or block heels are more comfortable than pumps and look a little nicer than flats, esp. with dresses (agree that something like Rothys are the answer if you only want flats).

DP. This is why we need feedback from OP. I think pants are way more comfortable than dresses. And there is no universe in which blocks heels are better than flats.

[Anonymous]

My uniform as a 40+ woman is:

black high-waisted pants, usually wide leg
silk blouse or simple top/sweater
Loafers or sneakers

I am petite, also size 2. I just did a clothing purge and it felt great.

[Anonymous]

Aritzia has some very comfortable pants. Don’t know whether they fit your body type..

Dresses - check out St.John knits, figure out your size and look for them on resale sites. Also, some of the stuff from COS, if you can pull it off.

In general, look for things that are structured but not constricting. Tailored <> skin tight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand the high heel issues. But is it about the old clothes you find uncomfortable? The fabrics? The cut is too figure revealing? It’s hard to respond without really understanding the problem.

I read your update and agree you need tailoring.

So as somebody who's tried the tailoring route, I disagree unless there's something specific you want. "These pants are perfect expect for the waist" is a good case for tailoring. "Everything about these pants fits wrong" means you have the wrong pants.

OP, styles change and sometimes what's in stores this season is unwearable for certain body types. Right now, voluminous pants are in style. These don't flatter me so I'm not buying new pants in mainstream stores right now. I can still buy straight leg slacks online.

I suggest you post your body shape (rectangle? pear?) and height, and we can suggest something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My uniform as a 40+ woman is:

black high-waisted pants, usually wide leg
silk blouse or simple top/sweater
Loafers or sneakers

I am petite, also size 2. I just did a clothing purge and it felt great.

Very similar here:
Dark (prefer navy) pants, straight leg
Solid color sweater
Flat ankle boots

Or
Knee-length dress with a defined waist
Low wedges in nude-for-me tone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what's your budget?

Some ideas below. All the websites linked have other options.

For shoes the simplest option would be Rothy's or Vivaia woven flats. Maybe not the absolute most stylish but nice enough, machine washable, and you don't need to wear with socks if you don't want. They are very comfortable. Vivaia in particular has a million options.

https://www.vivaia.com/item/pointed-toe-striped-flats-p_10003079.html?gid=10003092
https://www.vivaia.com/item/almond-toe-ballet-flats-tamia-2-0-p_10001532.html?gid=10001532
https://rothys.com/products/square-toe-mary-jane-black

Dresses are the easiest option
https://www.quince.com/women/linen-dress?color=deep-navy&tracker=collection_page__%2Fwomen%2Fdresses__Work+Dresses__10
https://www.cos.com/en-us/women/womenswear/dresses/mididresses/product/belted-short-sleeved-midi-shirt-dress-navy-1271953003
https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=535705002&vid=1&pcid=69883&cid=69883&nav=meganav%3AWomen%3AWOMEN%27S+CLOTHING%3ADresses+%26+Jumpsuits#pdp-page-content

Everything on this list is exactly what not to do, OP. This will make you look like a basic, frump mom. Not the look you're going for, when i sympathize with you that you feel huge in a size 4 when you're used to being a size 0. I love the colette pants from anthro posted above. Look for a pant with a slightly higher waist and pleats, with straighter legs. I have a similar body to you and that's very flattering on me. Pleats sound scary but they are super cute and flattering.

[Anonymous]

[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand the high heel issues. But is it about the old clothes you find uncomfortable? The fabrics? The cut is too figure revealing? It’s hard to respond without really understanding the problem.

I read your update and agree you need tailoring.

So as somebody who's tried the tailoring route, I disagree unless there's something specific you want. "These pants are perfect expect for the waist" is a good case for tailoring. "Everything about these pants fits wrong" means you have the wrong pants.

OP, styles change and sometimes what's in stores this season is unwearable for certain body types. Right now, voluminous pants are in style. These don't flatter me so I'm not buying new pants in mainstream stores right now. I can still buy straight leg slacks online.

I suggest you post your body shape (rectangle? pear?) and height, and we can suggest something.

Isn’t that what OP said? She’s getting a bad waist to thickness of leg ratio? If it fits in the waist, then rest of the pants are too big.

[Anonymous]

OP, how tall are you? I am short (5'2") and feel like a frump in the trouser look that is very in right now. I prefer a ponte pant and have found a handful that are very comfortable.

https://spanx.com/products/spanxsupersmooth-perfectfit-ponte-slim-straight-pant?Color=Classic+Black&v=48681150218451
Quince Ponte Pants - the website link is absurdly long, but they sell different length inseams.

I also like Quince's cashmere collection for a classic staple.

I notice that people on this site tend to invest more in clothing than I do - these are probably "low end" recs, but I can attest they travel well and they can be laundered at home without special treatment!

[Anonymous]

OP, are you short-waisted? I’m short-waisted and round around the middle, and it is very difficult to find pants that work for my shape with the current styles. My old go-to of lower waisted, wide-leg, tailored pants with heels just doesn’t work with my slightly different shape anymore, and looks dated + too young on my body. I haven’t found the right fix for it.

I also used to be a huge pencil skirt wearer but if I even breathe the wrong way or eat a carb within 48 hours of wearing one, I look too poochy regardless of how fit I am. It’s rough because I’ve revised my entire professional look but haven’t really replaced it with anything.

I basically just have two pairs of these pants in green and a dark charcoaly color and wear them on repeat with loafers. They are closer to a work pant fabric than a khaki-style chino fabric and read more narrow on me that they do in these photos:

https://www.frankandeileen.com/collections/pants/products/westport-washed-black-italian-performance-twill?variant=41451155685450

[Anonymous]

These are my go-to work pants that feel like a sweatpant: https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-live-in-pant-black?collection=womens-sale

[Anonymous]

For me, the older i get, the more i need my clothes to have structure. It can be a nice crisp cotton button down, tucked into high waste wide leg pants, plus pointy flats. Anything soft or flowy looks frumpy, especially dresses. Shirt type dresses to the knee with a belt look best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is for me; might not be possible for you.

+1

[Anonymous]

I'm a fan of Quince pants for work and they're somewhat of a uniform for me (there are various styles, I've liked all that I've tried), paired with a blouse or sweater and rothy's type flats. This is very comfortable. I certainly could be more fashionable. But also I could certainly be much less fashionable. I'm okay to land somewhere in the middle. I make sure my makeup, hair, nails, and jewelry are on point and I think that goes a long way too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dresses are way more comfy than pants. I've had luck at Boden and Ann Taylor (though I'm taller and larger than you). Wedges or block heels are more comfortable than pumps and look a little nicer than flats, esp. with dresses (agree that something like Rothys are the answer if you only want flats).

DP. This is why we need feedback from OP. I think pants are way more comfortable than dresses. And there is no universe in which blocks heels are better than flats.

Right - I said that wedge or block are more comfortable than a spiky-heeled pump. Toe shape matters too. Obviously a flat is more comfortable, but it can look frumpy if you're in a dress or skirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dresses are way more comfy than pants. I've had luck at Boden and Ann Taylor (though I'm taller and larger than you). Wedges or block heels are more comfortable than pumps and look a little nicer than flats, esp. with dresses (agree that something like Rothys are the answer if you only want flats).

DP. This is why we need feedback from OP. I think pants are way more comfortable than dresses. And there is no universe in which blocks heels are better than flats.

Right - I said that wedge or block are more comfortable than a spiky-heeled pump. Toe shape matters too. Obviously a flat is more comfortable, but it can look frumpy if you're in a dress or skirt.

Frumpy is people’s favorite word around here. Lots of things can look frumpy including block heels and round toes.