Would this annoy you? Business leader stupid comment about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m kind of surprised by the comments here. While his comment is unprofessional, have you paused to self-reflect and think about why he would make that comment? Something tells me you took this comment personally as there might be some truth in it.

It must be the way she dresses, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m kind of surprised by the comments here. While his comment is unprofessional, have you paused to self-reflect and think about why he would make that comment? Something tells me you took this comment personally as there might be some truth in it.

It must be the way she dresses, right?

Np. We have no idea. But it’s odd that no one has taken a minute to consider why the guy said that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You started it by dredging up the coldplay people casually at work within earshot. Now you want to turn tables and threaten them with "HR"

If you were truly an HR professional, you would have a closed-door convo about "what were they thinking and what training should we proactively do at our company, if any"

You are as bad as the rest of them and the astronomy coldplay lady. HR really does suck.

+1

[Anonymous]

At the moment you should have spoken up and said it was inappropriate comment.

I wouldn’t threaten HR. In my career I have never thought HR was helpful. My husband was (openly) sexually harassed by a former boss and made a complaint to HR and they did nothing about it. IMO, they protected the woman.

Also, it is not your fault. Think about your interactions with Brad and others. Do you favor Brad? Do you talk to him more than others?

When someone gives me feedback or even says something I don’t like I really think on it. Think about how I could do things differently. Maybe this person is jealous. Maybe they have no filter.

[Anonymous]

“Let’s stop this talk right here.”

You don’t need to give a reason why or explain how it makes you feel. You don’t need to say it will never happen. You don’t need to bring up that you are married. Nobody is owed an explanation when they say dumb stuff like this, they just need to be told to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m kind of surprised by the comments here. While his comment is unprofessional, have you paused to self-reflect and think about why he would make that comment? Something tells me you took this comment personally as there might be some truth in it.

Um, no. If he had said “wow, you’re pretty fat” would you just suggest that OP “self-reflect?” I hope not. Certain things are wildly unprofessional and inappropriate to say, and that’s entirely on the person who said them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m kind of surprised by the comments here. While his comment is unprofessional, have you paused to self-reflect and think about why he would make that comment? Something tells me you took this comment personally as there might be some truth in it.

I agree. Maybe you are too chummy with Brad and it's not obvious to you, or maybe it was just a weird compliment. People imagine that that others have affairs with good-looking people (although not usually the case!).

This. That your first reaction is "what an inappropriate comment" and not "what has transpired to make him think that" is really something.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised that as a senior HR person, you aren’t able to handle such a thing in the moment. Even if he took you by surprise, you should be able to to immediately respond to something inappropriate that happens in your presence, even if it’s about you.

At this point, the best you could do is email him and say that you didn’t want to embarrass him in front of Sally, but that kind of comment (quote back to him what he said) is inappropriate and could get him in trouble. Ask him to please think before he speaks and to let you know if he has questions. Say it in the tone you would use if it was a comment he made to someone else and keep it impersonal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m kind of surprised by the comments here. While his comment is unprofessional, have you paused to self-reflect and think about why he would make that comment? Something tells me you took this comment personally as there might be some truth in it.

Um, no. If he had said “wow, you’re pretty fat” would you just suggest that OP “self-reflect?” I hope not. Certain things are wildly unprofessional and inappropriate to say, and that’s entirely on the person who said them.

I’m sorry that your ability to parse issues is so limited that you cannot see a difference between weight and comments/actions OP may have made in the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this would annoy me, too. It was inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

You should not have even been talking about the Astronomer episode at work (I say this as another HR professional who reports to the CEO of a company). You chose poorly.

[Anonymous]

What is your relationship like with Brad to the point where he'd throw Brad's name in the mix with you?

Not at all excusing what he said, but I'd be curious to know why he would pair you and Brad?

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm strange because my first reaction would be to examine my interactions with Brad and figure out why anyone would think such a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised that as a senior HR person, you aren’t able to handle such a thing in the moment. Even if he took you by surprise, you should be able to to immediately respond to something inappropriate that happens in your presence, even if it’s about you.

At this point, the best you could do is email him and say that you didn’t want to embarrass him in front of Sally, but that kind of comment (quote back to him what he said) is inappropriate and could get him in trouble. Ask him to please think before he speaks and to let you know if he has questions. Say it in the tone you would use if it was a comment he made to someone else and keep it impersonal.

This. OP is not good HR professional. And HR is not supposed to get chummy to the point of being unprofessional with employees. They have to keep their distance because their task is to be impartial and protect the company from being sued. Yes, rule followers and boring is what HR is supposed to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm strange because my first reaction would be to examine my interactions with Brad and figure out why anyone would think such a thing.

I can’t even with this.