Frugal people - how to relax a bit with money

[Anonymous]

We don’t make as much money. We can afford SOME nice things. For me the shift was time. I used it take the metro because it was cheap. Uber is so much faster. I have people clean my house because it saves me time. I used it so it to save money, but now I just want to save my time for things I enjoy.

I still buy the cheap clothes and cars, but I will spend more money on anything that saves me time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I agree it's some weird mental hangup. We rationally understand we can afford a lot more without jeopardizing security/the future.

But when I go to a fancy restaurant, I mentally still look at all the entree prices and make value judgements. We love to travel but I'm struggling to make the leap to nicer hotels and business class. I don't even like buying the teenagers $140 sneakers. I do it, because it's the kids and it's important to them, but I am outraged by it and would NEVER by myself $140 sneakers.

What is wrong with me? And yes I grew up working class. DH grew up more middle class and later upper middle class by HS, but his parents are also frugal.

I really do want to make the shift. But I am full of guilt over things I don't "need" that are "wasteful."

You can afford it but $140 kids sneakers is insane. Just say no or tell them to get a job and pay half.

[Anonymous]

Agree about lie-flat business seats - that’s the first thing we started splurging on when we hit 7 figure HHI in our early 40s. We never had the mental hang-ups about restaurant prices but we also don’t have expensive tastes and like to cook at home most of the time.

If you are a dual-income family then maybe consider going down to one income to make your life less hectic. I dream of doing that, and it wouldn’t make a huge dent as DH earns about 70% of our HHI. But my own mental hangup is that the SAHPs I know seem less with-it mentally and I fear it would do the same to me.

[Anonymous]

You ease your way into it. We have always been very frugal but at some point you realize that a certain age and net worth level it’s ok to splurge.

[Anonymous]

Please try to do this. My uncle is a retired teacher with a great pension, a paid off $1.5M house, and a half million inheritance he got twenty years ago, and he’s taking a red eye on Southwest arriving at 5 am from the west coast at age 75 because he’s so cheap. Stop the insanity.

[Anonymous]

Do you have other children in your life that you care about (nieces, nephews, godchildren, etc) who are not as well off? I think it can't be underestimated how much a gift to them of a used car, an interview outfit, a year of college, a down payment, etc could be transformational to their life. As little or as much as you like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You went from wealthy to wealthier. Congrats and good brag. You can spend what you want.

Yea, this. Pathetic.

[Anonymous]

"Don't let the most generous day of your life be the day you die."

I very much live in the scarcity mindset and after hearing the quote above it's made me rethink. Even if I can't spend the money on myself, I can enhance others lives - my family, charities, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you first generation. I have this issue too but attribute it to how I grew up. Money was tight.

That’s where it comes for me. I grew up poor and now we make ~$760k. I still buy whatever is on sale at the grocery store that weekend. My wife constantly tells me to spend some money on myself but I really struggle with it.

haha me, too, but I'm the DW, and DH tells me that it's fine to buy myself a $30 eyeliner. I'm like

Agree with a PP, I can spend on travel, but have a harder time spending money on pricier non necessities.

The only thing I won't cheap out on is quality groceries.

[Anonymous]

Dedicate your money to seizing or destroying the wealth of billionaires. It's good for your soul, and that's all we are at the core.

[Anonymous]

This is such a DCUM post.

[Anonymous]

Warren Buffett is pretty frugal except for his airplane which he named "Indefensible".

[Anonymous]

Try to think about what splurges you appreciated after the fact, and which you didn't.

For example, for me, I usually take the metro, but sometimes when it's late I'll take an Uber. After the fact, I'm usually glad I did. But often when I go to a fancy restaurant, I leave thinking, "That was nice, but I would have enjoyed a mid-priced restaurant just as much."

Are there things you've splurged on and regretted, or didn't particularly enjoy? If so, don't do that again. But if there were splurges that you were glad you made, do more of those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please try to do this. My uncle is a retired teacher with a great pension, a paid off $1.5M house, and a half million inheritance he got twenty years ago, and he’s taking a red eye on Southwest arriving at 5 am from the west coast at age 75 because he’s so cheap. Stop the insanity.

Do you know if he actually hates the redeye?

[Anonymous]

If I had what you did, I would travel more