People who brag about inherited wealth

[Anonymous]

I prefer this to people who pretend they didn’t have any family help despite sending 4 kids to Sidwell Friends and taking lavish vacations on a teachers salary.

[Anonymous]

Yeah this doesn't make sense. Typically people with inherited money are more likely to be circumspect about it, anticipating exactly this kind of criticism

[Anonymous]

OP here. To clarify, he doesn’t flat out say that he inherited the money, but it’s obvious from bits and pieces I’ve gathered. His lifestyle vs the job he works does not add up and the fact his family is ultra wealthy makes it clear that he has an alternative source of funds.

Think of someone with only a few years work experience, low 6 figure income, but effortlessly buys things that only someone with 10-20x his salary can afford. In one conversation he will very briefly mention how his parents have eye watering levels of wealth. In another conversation he arrogantly says something bad about poor people or brags about one of his expensive toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To clarify, he doesn’t flat out say that he inherited the money, but it’s obvious from bits and pieces I’ve gathered. His lifestyle vs the job he works does not add up and the fact his family is ultra wealthy makes it clear that he has an alternative source of funds.

Think of someone with only a few years work experience, low 6 figure income, but effortlessly buys things that only someone with 10-20x his salary can afford. In one conversation he will very briefly mention how his parents have eye watering levels of wealth. In another conversation he arrogantly says something bad about poor people or brags about one of his expensive toys.

You seem obsessed with this guy. Why are you keeping track of what he buys and what his salary is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer this to people who pretend they didn’t have any family help despite sending 4 kids to Sidwell Friends and taking lavish vacations on a teachers salary.

Honestly there’s no good way to handle this. I’m pretty open about our financial situation but some people will be mad at me no matter what I say. We’re rich because of a combination of inheritance, entrepreneurial success and lucky investments. Our W2s are almost irrelevant. There is hard work and talent involved, but that’s obviously not 1:1. One of the consequences of living this life is that I don’t assume much correlation between wealth and virtue and none after a certain level.

So what do you want that family to tell you? How are they “pretending?” You’re probably not close friends, right? Are they supposed to show you a tax return?

[Anonymous]

I don't like when wealthy people flex regardless of how they got wealthy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer this to people who pretend they didn’t have any family help despite sending 4 kids to Sidwell Friends and taking lavish vacations on a teachers salary.

Honestly there’s no good way to handle this. I’m pretty open about our financial situation but some people will be mad at me no matter what I say. We’re rich because of a combination of inheritance, entrepreneurial success and lucky investments. Our W2s are almost irrelevant. There is hard work and talent involved, but that’s obviously not 1:1. One of the consequences of living this life is that I don’t assume much correlation between wealth and virtue and none after a certain level.

So what do you want that family to tell you? How are they “pretending?” You’re probably not close friends, right? Are they supposed to show you a tax return?

I'm not expecting people to proactively bring this up when we are making small talk but we have some people who are reasonably good friends and when they asked us why we were leaving DC for the suburbs and we said "well we hate to leave DC but even though we can afford private school on our salaries, we are worried that we would not be saving enough and would be up a creek if one of lost our jobs" and they would just say "we could never leave DC that is why we send our 4 kids to Sidwell." Meanwhile other friends said "we are lucky to have tuition help from grandparents, otherwise we would be doing the same thing." That seems more honest and not bragging - just stating a fact.

[Anonymous]

I have known people who inherited money who are afraid that other people will hit them up. Guilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He knows he’s a shitty person who nobody would choose to have anything to do with if he wasn’t so wealthy so he keeps reminding people.

Yes, I have found this to be true. Know many many people with family money. We live in a very very wealthy area and it’s pretty much a 50/50 split who is self made and who comes from family money. Maybe even higher like 70/30 with only 30 percent not getting help. The ones who mention it do it as social leverage, which imo is dumb if I am not directly benefitting from your family’s money I am not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer this to people who pretend they didn’t have any family help despite sending 4 kids to Sidwell Friends and taking lavish vacations on a teachers salary.

True

[Anonymous]

I know someone who talks about maintaining tight budget on spouse's 100k salary and simultaneously reminds you they have an inheritance of 5+ mill they don't touch. They aren't extravagant- kids in public and only one income, but obviously college and retirement handled from the inheritance and perhaps they also live off the interest. It is really grating to hear them talk about being budget conscious living off spouse's salary when the rest of friend group working long days and hustling for any of our privileges like a vacation or other expenses.

[Anonymous]

Only one solution.

Marry him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prefer this to people who pretend they didn’t have any family help despite sending 4 kids to Sidwell Friends and taking lavish vacations on a teachers salary.

Honestly there’s no good way to handle this. I’m pretty open about our financial situation but some people will be mad at me no matter what I say. We’re rich because of a combination of inheritance, entrepreneurial success and lucky investments. Our W2s are almost irrelevant. There is hard work and talent involved, but that’s obviously not 1:1. One of the consequences of living this life is that I don’t assume much correlation between wealth and virtue and none after a certain level.

So what do you want that family to tell you? How are they “pretending?” You’re probably not close friends, right? Are they supposed to show you a tax return?

I'm not expecting people to proactively bring this up when we are making small talk but we have some people who are reasonably good friends and when they asked us why we were leaving DC for the suburbs and we said "well we hate to leave DC but even though we can afford private school on our salaries, we are worried that we would not be saving enough and would be up a creek if one of lost our jobs" and they would just say "we could never leave DC that is why we send our 4 kids to Sidwell." Meanwhile other friends said "we are lucky to have tuition help from grandparents, otherwise we would be doing the same thing." That seems more honest and not bragging - just stating a fact.

+1. We have a friend who said they stretched for their $6M house and then his wife mentioned it was bought with her trust funds. I about fell over. You stretched the trust funds to buy the house? Mmmhmmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people with generational wealth don’t act like that OP. One side of my family wears tattered clothes because they just don’t care about appearances. Your associate sounds like insufferable new money.

New money means you made it if yourself. Generational wealth is inherited. Using "new money" pejoratively is almost as bad as what OP describes.

+2

Imagine thinking you’re somehow more deserving of a seat at the table because your forbear found a way to make some coin rather than finding a way to do it yourself.

Sad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer this to people who pretend they didn’t have any family help despite sending 4 kids to Sidwell Friends and taking lavish vacations on a teachers salary.

Lol so true