Rent for newly graduated child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh just stop. Don’t play any games. The kid lives with you rent free. End of story.

This is how we handle it.

[Anonymous]

If they're in school/fellowship, I would not charge them unless you're really worried about them not saving money or moving on with life.

We have a child who dropped out of college and is struggling with their next steps. We are working with a psychiatrist. We charge him $600 rent + $100 board + $100 wifi a month. It motivates him to work and he doesn't have too much fun money sitting around. We put it in a savings account for him. If he goes back to school, he will get free rent and an allowance again.

[Anonymous]

Our son lived with us for over a year after he graduated. He had a fairly well paying job ($70k/yr) and did it to build up his savings/investments. We sat down with him and showed him what he could/should be doing. Didn't charge him rent or food. Just went over basic expectations regarding household, like letting us know if he was going to stay out late, etc.

He has an apartment about 15 mins away from us now, and a better job. Still stops by for dinner or to hang out once or twice a week depending on his schedule and ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son lived with us for over a year after he graduated. He had a fairly well paying job ($70k/yr) and did it to build up his savings/investments. We sat down with him and showed him what he could/should be doing. Didn't charge him rent or food. Just went over basic expectations regarding household, like letting us know if he was going to stay out late, etc.

He has an apartment about 15 mins away from us now, and a better job. Still stops by for dinner or to hang out once or twice a week depending on his schedule and ours.

Again, why all the drama?

Each of our four kids spent a varying amount of time living with us after college before going off and doing their thing. There was no grand discussion of expectations, none of this “charge rent and give it back” or “teach them how to budget and set up a retirement account” bullshit, etc. They just graduated, moved in, and we crossed bridges when we came to them. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son lived with us for over a year after he graduated. He had a fairly well paying job ($70k/yr) and did it to build up his savings/investments. We sat down with him and showed him what he could/should be doing. Didn't charge him rent or food. Just went over basic expectations regarding household, like letting us know if he was going to stay out late, etc.

He has an apartment about 15 mins away from us now, and a better job. Still stops by for dinner or to hang out once or twice a week depending on his schedule and ours.

Again, why all the drama?

Each of our four kids spent a varying amount of time living with us after college before going off and doing their thing. There was no grand discussion of expectations, none of this “charge rent and give it back” or “teach them how to budget and set up a retirement account” bullshit, etc. They just graduated, moved in, and we crossed bridges when we came to them. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

DP here. There is no drama I see. Just a parent providing their perspective and experience that is useful to a recent grad. Just simple things that are helpful.

[Anonymous]

We also do not believe in playing games with our children. Our home will always be their home. No rent required.

I personally think that even when your kids start to work, it is great if they can stay home and save at least 1-2 years worth of salary. Reduces their yo-yo launching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh just stop. Don’t play any games. The kid lives with you rent free. End of story.

This is how we handle it.

Same. Rent and board so kid can save and invest with goal of moving into their own place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son lived with us for over a year after he graduated. He had a fairly well paying job ($70k/yr) and did it to build up his savings/investments. We sat down with him and showed him what he could/should be doing. Didn't charge him rent or food. Just went over basic expectations regarding household, like letting us know if he was going to stay out late, etc.

He has an apartment about 15 mins away from us now, and a better job. Still stops by for dinner or to hang out once or twice a week depending on his schedule and ours.

Again, why all the drama?

Each of our four kids spent a varying amount of time living with us after college before going off and doing their thing. There was no grand discussion of expectations, none of this “charge rent and give it back” or “teach them how to budget and set up a retirement account” bullshit, etc. They just graduated, moved in, and we crossed bridges when we came to them. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

I don't think it's drama. Some of us are worried about raising failure to launch kids. We don't actually want them living with us at 30, so we're thoughtful about the terms in which they can move back home as a young adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son lived with us for over a year after he graduated. He had a fairly well paying job ($70k/yr) and did it to build up his savings/investments. We sat down with him and showed him what he could/should be doing. Didn't charge him rent or food. Just went over basic expectations regarding household, like letting us know if he was going to stay out late, etc.

He has an apartment about 15 mins away from us now, and a better job. Still stops by for dinner or to hang out once or twice a week depending on his schedule and ours.

Again, why all the drama?

Each of our four kids spent a varying amount of time living with us after college before going off and doing their thing. There was no grand discussion of expectations, none of this “charge rent and give it back” or “teach them how to budget and set up a retirement account” bullshit, etc. They just graduated, moved in, and we crossed bridges when we came to them. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

I don't think it's drama. Some of us are worried about raising failure to launch kids. We don't actually want them living with us at 30, so we're thoughtful about the terms in which they can move back home as a young adult.

If you didn't spoil them rotten growing up it won't be a problem.

It's absolutely 100 percent drama. If your kid has a good reason to move back home for a short while you let them. And you don't charge rent or play silly games with them like others have proposed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son lived with us for over a year after he graduated. He had a fairly well paying job ($70k/yr) and did it to build up his savings/investments. We sat down with him and showed him what he could/should be doing. Didn't charge him rent or food. Just went over basic expectations regarding household, like letting us know if he was going to stay out late, etc.

He has an apartment about 15 mins away from us now, and a better job. Still stops by for dinner or to hang out once or twice a week depending on his schedule and ours.

Again, why all the drama?

Each of our four kids spent a varying amount of time living with us after college before going off and doing their thing. There was no grand discussion of expectations, none of this “charge rent and give it back” or “teach them how to budget and set up a retirement account” bullshit, etc. They just graduated, moved in, and we crossed bridges when we came to them. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

I don't think it's drama. Some of us are worried about raising failure to launch kids. We don't actually want them living with us at 30, so we're thoughtful about the terms in which they can move back home as a young adult.

If you didn't spoil them rotten growing up it won't be a problem.

It's absolutely 100 percent drama. If your kid has a good reason to move back home for a short while you let them. And you don't charge rent or play silly games with them like others have proposed.

You don't know that. There are plenty of stories about failure to launch kids on these boards alone, and most of us have friends or acquaintances who have failed to launch adult kids. The most reasonable thing to do is to define "short while" and set some house rules. It's also fine to charge them nominal rent and save it for them if you want. It's very paternalistic, but an adult moving back home should expect some paternalism from their parents as a natural consequence of their choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son lived with us for over a year after he graduated. He had a fairly well paying job ($70k/yr) and did it to build up his savings/investments. We sat down with him and showed him what he could/should be doing. Didn't charge him rent or food. Just went over basic expectations regarding household, like letting us know if he was going to stay out late, etc.

He has an apartment about 15 mins away from us now, and a better job. Still stops by for dinner or to hang out once or twice a week depending on his schedule and ours.

Again, why all the drama?

Each of our four kids spent a varying amount of time living with us after college before going off and doing their thing. There was no grand discussion of expectations, none of this “charge rent and give it back” or “teach them how to budget and set up a retirement account” bullshit, etc. They just graduated, moved in, and we crossed bridges when we came to them. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

I don't think it's drama. Some of us are worried about raising failure to launch kids. We don't actually want them living with us at 30, so we're thoughtful about the terms in which they can move back home as a young adult.

If you didn't spoil them rotten growing up it won't be a problem.

It's absolutely 100 percent drama. If your kid has a good reason to move back home for a short while you let them. And you don't charge rent or play silly games with them like others have proposed.

You don't know that. There are plenty of stories about failure to launch kids on these boards alone, and most of us have friends or acquaintances who have failed to launch adult kids. The most reasonable thing to do is to define "short while" and set some house rules. It's also fine to charge them nominal rent and save it for them if you want. It's very paternalistic, but an adult moving back home should expect some paternalism from their parents as a natural consequence of their choice.

You don’t have to “set” anything or “define” anything. Just be reasonable already.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised the Nervous Nellies haven't yet pointed out that this is tax fraud if you don't treat the space as a rental for tax purposes (assuming it's fair market value rent).

[Anonymous]

We didn't charge DD any sort of rent, but she has to move out after two years (we gave her lots of notice).

[Anonymous]

Start by having her pay car insurance, phone, and other stuff vs rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son lived with us for over a year after he graduated. He had a fairly well paying job ($70k/yr) and did it to build up his savings/investments. We sat down with him and showed him what he could/should be doing. Didn't charge him rent or food. Just went over basic expectations regarding household, like letting us know if he was going to stay out late, etc.

He has an apartment about 15 mins away from us now, and a better job. Still stops by for dinner or to hang out once or twice a week depending on his schedule and ours.

Again, why all the drama?

Each of our four kids spent a varying amount of time living with us after college before going off and doing their thing. There was no grand discussion of expectations, none of this “charge rent and give it back” or “teach them how to budget and set up a retirement account” bullshit, etc. They just graduated, moved in, and we crossed bridges when we came to them. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

DP here. There is no drama I see. Just a parent providing their perspective and experience that is useful to a recent grad. Just simple things that are helpful.

+1.