Is your life your your children’s lives worse than what your parents or you had?

[Anonymous]

My mom grew up lmc and my dad grew up poor. They raised us lmc but were able to buy their first home mid-20s and their “forever home” around age 30. We three kids all had our own bedrooms but local schools were only OK, we didn’t have money for fancy camps or activities, and we borrowed a bunch to go to college. We took an annual family beach vacation and went to Disney twice. I’m not sure this kind of lifestyle really exists anymore—my parents were a postal worker and part-time bank teller.

DH grew up poor in the downwardly mobile sense—his dad came from wealth but was a bit of a black sheep and eventually left his wife and kids. We married and bought our first home at 29, forever home a little over 40 in a town with great schools and incredible opportunities for our kids. We pay for numerous activities and camps for our 2 kids and will send them to college without loans. We don’t live lavishly—still just an annual family beach vacation, one trip to Disney, and visits to family for travel—but we don’t struggle. And we’re very aware of how lucky we are—I never expected to have the comfortable life I am leading now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like your living standard is worse than what you saw your parents have or is your children’s lives worse than what you had as an adult their same age? I just saw a piece on families basically all living together now because lots of adult children are basically saying if they couldn’t move back in with their parents they’d be homeless.

No. I grew up working class/LMC with two parents without college degrees. My in-laws went to college and had a solid middle class life. They sold their business at retirement and are now wealthy but not when DH was growing up. DH and I are solidly UMC on our own, plus will inherit a portion of my in-laws NW.

[Anonymous]

Better for husband + me + for my child. Husband + I grew up poor...wealthy now as is our child. Grateful.

[Anonymous]

I am way better off than what both my parents had growing up and as adults. My kids are way better off than both me and my DH.

[Anonymous]

My dc has a lovely life but it’s not as nice as mine was as a child and won’t ever be bc we aren’t as wealthy as my parents. My mom grew up super poor, my dad was wealthy as a kid, but made a lot of money as an adult and I had a very privileged childhood.

[Anonymous]

My kids are worse off because both parents work. My mom stayed at home

[Anonymous]

If they are young, it would improve with years.

[Anonymous]

Our parents had it better than our grandparents, we are better off than our parents and though our adult kids aren't better off than us yet, they are young so they can work harder to improve their lifestyles if they want. We didn't reach it until our mid 30's.

[Anonymous]

I think anxiety, confusion, and anger is much greater. Also uncertainty. At least I feel the most uncertain that I ever have (40) but maybe that’s midlife lol.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with much less money and privilege than what I have now, but our town was affordable in a way that nice suburbs aren't anymore so we had a big house and a 1/4 acre yard. My DCs have way more opportunity and privilege and don't have to worry about money the way I did.

Education and future educational opportunity is way worse than what I had. They're at some of the best schools in my area (not DMV but a major city) and I can see clearly that they are getting a far more mediocre education than I got at my run of the mill suburban public school. I think that is a function of generational changes, not wealth. My school growing up had brilliant teachers who were quite educated and sophisticated. Were they born just one generation later, they probably would have had more opportunities than just teacher/nurse and it's unlikely that so much talent would have ended up concentrated in a generic suburban public elementary school. Once my kids get to high school from their k-8, they'll be competing for very limited private school spots or will be going into a really cutthroat public school environment. They won't be able to basically stroll onto a sports team or walk into an ivy the way I did as a try-hard but non-brilliant HS kid.

[Anonymous]

About the same but we make way more money. My parents made $60 K combined when I headed off to college in the 90s. We make more than twice that (barely) but it buys about the same.

[Anonymous]

Our standard is not higher in terms of material things, but probably higher in ways I prioritize. We have a walkable lifestyle; we eat better food; we take vacations that are more than camping (but not DCUM-standard trips); we talk about emotions and relationships, apologize to each other, and spend time together in ways we didn’t when I was a child.

But yeah, we have one car, rent our home, don’t have a fancy tv or big yard, and even though we are saving I am not sure their college will be fully funded.

I hope my children land abroad in a socialist country TBH. I think they will do even worse than us unless they somehow pick really lucrative careers. Healthcare is too expensive, food is too expensive, housing is too expensive, and retirement is a pipe dream for most.

[Anonymous]

I’m worse, which is insane to me. I make $335!

At my age my parents had two paid off homes and early retirement at 52 (dad) and 55 (i’m 53) My mom stayed home until I was in 7th grade - and I was the youngest of 6. They both had college educations, but got them at night.

I’d like to think my kids are in a better spot simply because I’ve been trying to save $17k a year for each so maybe they don’t graduate with six figure debt like I did.

[Anonymous]

My parents never went to college, were able to buy a SFH by the time they were 30 in a nice neighborhood. Paid for my college education. They both had stable jobs with pensions.

Took my dh and I longer to save to buy a SFH, had to move several times for career changes and job losses. Have given up on having a "forever home."

Doing about the same financially with masters degrees and higher earning jobs as my parents did with high school degrees and lower earning jobs.

[Anonymous]

From an economic perspective I am way better off than my parents. They were MC when I was a kid, although now are closer to UMC. I am 1% based on income. My kids are privileged, have no school debt, and we can help them with down payments.

From a personal perspective I think I am also better off, despite a demanding job. My mother was an alcoholic and I am not. I’ve been married longer than my parents were.