May be I am not good enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP and I’m dealing with a mid-to-late career crisis. For ten years, I’ve worked for a boss who devalued my contributions, undermined my authority, badmouthed me to my peers, and took credit for my work. I was tempted to leave many times but the work life balance was good, the pay wasn’t bad, and I believed in the mission. Now I’m finally ready to move on and I’m exhausted and defeated. I can’t believe I allowed myself to be treated so badly and it’s made me wonder if that’s what I deserve. I feel like an abused spouse who can’t or won’t leave.

low self esteem due to social economic rung where you feel you need to show gratitude for every bone capitalists throw at you. not your fault, you still have tomorrow to find a better place.

[Anonymous]

It is called the Peter Principal.

Look it up.

[Anonymous]

The Peter Principle, articulated by Laurence J. Peter, is a management theory stating that individuals in a hierarchical organization tend to be promoted based on their success in previous roles, until they reach a position where they are no longer competent. Essentially, employees rise to their "level of incompetence".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t had that moment because I had the this is dumb and pointless realization somewhere around age 26. Since then I’ve prioritized work life balance over bigger paychecks. My pay per hour of effort is phenomenal, though.

This made me LOL. Thanks !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every person reaches some kind of wall at some point and realizes the capabilities have limits. How did this moment play out for you?

I had a set of goals and I just can’t get there in terms of a career ladder. Utter disappointment, although not yet huge despair…

Figured it out in high school freshman year. It's all so meaningless. Enjoy the little things instead.

Wage slaving for a "career" is a slave mentality.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I think I’m quitting this one next week. I do have another option and hopefully will cure an overachiever syndrome somehow. when wanting accomplishments is part of your DNA at work or life or sports, you start thinking what’s wrong with me one day.

[Anonymous]

And the thought of the day, apart from happy fourth, maybe I’m not good enough to deal with BS… and it’s BS when you hit all the criteria and they still can’t tell you exactly why they can’t promote you. I hope I can figure out how to stop the self-destructing pattern of going all in at whatever it may be I’m tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Peter Principle, articulated by Laurence J. Peter, is a management theory stating that individuals in a hierarchical organization tend to be promoted based on their success in previous roles, until they reach a position where they are no longer competent. Essentially, employees rise to their "level of incompetence".

Did he also cover nasty people rising through the ranks (by stealing credits, blaming things on others, outright lying behind your back, etc as one poster described) and then turning workplace into hell, so your competence, doesn’t matter anymore. Bc you have a horrible boss.

[Anonymous]

Did not check before posting — sorry for punctuation/style errors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP and I’m dealing with a mid-to-late career crisis. For ten years, I’ve worked for a boss who devalued my contributions, undermined my authority, badmouthed me to my peers, and took credit for my work. I was tempted to leave many times but the work life balance was good, the pay wasn’t bad, and I believed in the mission. Now I’m finally ready to move on and I’m exhausted and defeated. I can’t believe I allowed myself to be treated so badly and it’s made me wonder if that’s what I deserve. I feel like an abused spouse who can’t or won’t leave.

I am so sorry this happened to you, NP. Lost for words but hope you figure out a good way forward and recover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just remind myself that it's all meaningless anyway and I'd rather be outside.

Same. I’ve watched numerous people retire this year after 30+ yrs of service to the govt and poof, suddenly you’re gone. Life at the office hums along in your absence as if nothing has changed. Just goes to show that it really is meaningless-sure your contributions mattered during that time but you’re entirely disposable. Someone else is there to step in and fill the void and pick up your work. In your personal life, that’s not the case. You’re irreplaceable. Focus on what matters-your personal connections outside of work and the things that make you happy. Work to live don’t live to work.

Every person is replaceable. Even the office workaholic. If Google's CEO left tomorrow, they probably wouldn't make a dime less.

[Anonymous]

I realized I never would be a world class physicist when I was 25 or 26. I grieved. I changed fields and moved on.
Government cuts under Gingrich forced me to change again. I had a series of increasingly unsatisfying jobs and toxic environments and quit working at 57. Thanks to supportive DH who IS world class in his field and keeps in with research in his 70s.
Yeah, I didn't live up to my promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every person reaches some kind of wall at some point and realizes the capabilities have limits. How did this moment play out for you?

I had a set of goals and I just can’t get there in terms of a career ladder. Utter disappointment, although not yet huge despair…

You are not special. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every person reaches some kind of wall at some point and realizes the capabilities have limits. How did this moment play out for you?

I had a set of goals and I just can’t get there in terms of a career ladder. Utter disappointment, although not yet huge despair…

Don’t internalize it. The corporate workplace - like other kinds of workplaces, like academia or the arts (or the government) - are very well-suited to certain types of people and not as well for others.

I’m in a similar boat. I have a blue collar background and got two degrees as a non-traditional student, including an MBA, wholly intending to climb the corporate ladder to the top. I’m now in the middle of the climb and realize this isn’t the right “world” for me - poor me, making six figures in a WFH job, right? But there are SO many paths and ways to be successful. If this doesn’t work for you, find what does. Be smart, intentional, strategic, and methodical and you will find your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every person reaches some kind of wall at some point and realizes the capabilities have limits. How did this moment play out for you?

I had a set of goals and I just can’t get there in terms of a career ladder. Utter disappointment, although not yet huge despair…

Don’t internalize it. The corporate workplace - like other kinds of workplaces, like academia or the arts (or the government) - are very well-suited to certain types of people and not as well for others.

I’m in a similar boat. I have a blue collar background and got two degrees as a non-traditional student, including an MBA, wholly intending to climb the corporate ladder to the top. I’m now in the middle of the climb and realize this isn’t the right “world” for me - poor me, making six figures in a WFH job, right? But there are SO many paths and ways to be successful. If this doesn’t work for you, find what does. Be smart, intentional, strategic, and methodical and you will find your way.

Thanks.