Do you cook meals your spouse hates?

[Anonymous]

We share the cooking.

Do we make things the other truly hates? Rarely or never.

Things that are “not spouse’s favorite” or don’t necessarily meet dietary preferences (if one of us is eating light, watching carbs or whatever)? All the time. But we try to modify when possible.

For the most part, we cook what we want to cook when it is our turn. Other person can supplement or modify the meal, or fix something easy for themselves. There aren’t a lot of meals that we “hate” altogether but we do avoid those.

We also have 3DC and pretty much the same. They do hate more foods but we don’t take that into account. They are all old enough to modify their meal or fix something else for themselves.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're starting a family, you need to get ready for what kind of eating habits your kids are going to develop. Your husband is going to be a problem. Don't raise picky eaters. Learn to cook well, and then cook meals that you like and don't give your kids a choice to decline what you make (though you could involve them in the menu planning). When you go to a restaurant, don't even let your kids look at the kids menu, let alone order off it. Doing this consistently from an earlier age. They'll get used to it quickly and it'll become just the way they eat. Your DH will have to get with the program; if he's breaking off to eat his own over-salted junk food, the kids will see that and want the same thing. (And for the record, cooking tasty, healthful food doesn't have to be especially complicated or expensive. Just stick to traditional dishes, which were developed by people who had very little money or resources - pasta, tacos, stir fry, etc.)

Signed,

A parent of 3 teens/tweens who eat everything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I want to start a family so we are very focused on saving money. We used to both work very long hours out of the home and eat out for lunch and dinner. I accepted a new job and now work very close to home. I make a couple of really good dishes he likes but he is the pickier eater. I’ve made some recent recipes I’ve loved but he didn’t like. I want to make them again but I know my husband won’t eat them.

Do you cook meals your spouse won’t eat? If you do, how well does that go for you guys? Is it reasonable to cook meals I like but he doesn’t like?

Well, key is to make double of every meal and refrigerate or freeze it. Whoever doesn't like dinner, can add or substitute with their favorite leftover. I often cook things we both like or try to have a fair balance. It feels wrong if your partner isn't eating well because you mostly cook what you like and he doesn't. Would you like it if he only washes his dishes or vacuums his side of the room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're starting a family, you need to get ready for what kind of eating habits your kids are going to develop. Your husband is going to be a problem. Don't raise picky eaters. Learn to cook well, and then cook meals that you like and don't give your kids a choice to decline what you make (though you could involve them in the menu planning). When you go to a restaurant, don't even let your kids look at the kids menu, let alone order off it. Doing this consistently from an earlier age. They'll get used to it quickly and it'll become just the way they eat. Your DH will have to get with the program; if he's breaking off to eat his own over-salted junk food, the kids will see that and want the same thing. (And for the record, cooking tasty, healthful food doesn't have to be especially complicated or expensive. Just stick to traditional dishes, which were developed by people who had very little money or resources - pasta, tacos, stir fry, etc.)

Signed,
A parent of 3 teens/tweens who eat everything

You are very smug. My parents had two kids. They made meals they liked and didn't give us kids a chance to decline what was for dinner. We never ordered off a kids menu if there was one. They took us both food shopping, had us both help in the kitchen and eventually cook meals, and yet one kid came into adulthood eating a wide variety of foods and not being picky and one kid is very picky through no fault of their own. They suffered through years of dinners they hated, and have a sensitive palette. It wasn't you - it was just how your kids came out.

[Anonymous]

He hates spicy food so I don't ever make that. It's easy to add hot sauce to whatever I'm having.
He doesn't care for fish or most vegetarian things but he eats them without complaining. I'm not going to make steak and pasta every night.
I learned to cook when I was TTC and we needed to save money. It's also much healthier. Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

I make some dishes that my DH doesn't like, but I make them for myself, in portions for my consumption.
This is always fish, and some veggies he hates—steamed broccoli and cauliflower.
When our kids were still with us, I would make dishes that everyone ate. Right now, it's just the two of us, and it's no big deal for me to make fish for myself and a proper meal that we can share during the workweek.
Other than fish, DH is easy about the food and will eat anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I want to start a family so we are very focused on saving money. We used to both work very long hours out of the home and eat out for lunch and dinner. I accepted a new job and now work very close to home. I make a couple of really good dishes he likes but he is the pickier eater. I’ve made some recent recipes I’ve loved but he didn’t like. I want to make them again but I know my husband won’t eat them.

Do you cook meals your spouse won’t eat? If you do, how well does that go for you guys? Is it reasonable to cook meals I like but he doesn’t like?

If it is just the two of us, no. But I will make it for myself. Same with him. He loves a couple of things I hate. I will just make something else for me. We both take leftovers in for lunch the next day so food doesn't get wasted.

After our kids were born; yes; these things ended up in rotation because we are cooking for a family and we need a variety of healthy foods for our kids. And it has been a great palate expander for young kids. We each just suck it up for the evening when it's something we don't care for.

I do try to make sure there is something on the table we each like. He dislikes food made with turmeric for example but will eat the rice and veggies and add his own sauce free protein. I don't like one dish (from his home country) and I will just grill a few chicken breasts to add to the dinner menu. The kids generally eat his dishes. I do a veggie everyone likes and might add a salad for me. Nobody else likes salad.

So. We end up each cooking more to ensure there is something we all like on the table. Neither is opposed to leftovers and food doesn't go to waste. Kids don't often eat leftovers and that's an issue. So we can prepare portions to try to match.

[Anonymous]

I cook. If you want to eat it, there's plenty. If not, it's tomorrow's leftovers for me and the kids and you can make a sammich or cook for yourself like an adult. I'm not going to deliberately make food anyone in the house hates unless it's my favorite, in which case, you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. If you want catered meals, buy them.

[Anonymous]

We just gives a heads up and say I am going to make xyz today:tomorrow/next week I know you don’t like that, I can leave offf ABC ingredients on a portion of it, grab something else for you to make when I go to the store or you can fend for yourself.

[Anonymous]

I make things my spouse and kids don’t like but I do - and eat them for lunch or as a side dish for dinner. If I’m making us dinner to eat together though it’s something we both enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Rarely, but sometimes if I'm really craving something I will make it and he'll eat something else. He does the same. But most of the time we make things the whole family will eat.

I don't think it's reasonable to expect that someone will never eat their favorite dish again, so anyone (including your husband) who would say that you're a jerk for cooking something just for yourself is ridiculous. I also don't think it's reasonable to expect that the person doing the cooking generally makes something everyone will like, although I once posted that my husband and I generally eat the same stuff and I was lambasted for that idea so DCUM is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. And he cooks things we both like when it's his turn.

This.

Sometimes if I'm craving something he doesn't like, I'll make him something else very simple. He's very polite about it and tries to do the same. He has a few dishes I can't eat - I'm not so polite and don't choke it down, so he rarely makes them. (I hate the taste of pork or liver and he loves them). The adults aren't the picky ones in the family. All 4 of my kids were super picky eaters until sleep away camp at 9. They all came back healthy eaters willing to try new things. (I don't really know how the camp does it).

[Anonymous]

I almost always talk about what I am going to cook with my spouse before hand. On a very few occasions I wanted something I figured she may not love, chicken and Dumplings one time and Salisbury steak with mushroom gravy another time, I had something else simply prepared for her just in case.

[Anonymous]

No, why would you do that? What happens when you make beef strogonaff and he hates it- he has to make himself a PBJ? A meal is meant to be shared with each other.

[Anonymous]

Um you’re still working! He needs to learn to cook and be responsible for dinner once or twice a week. Chef’s choice, unless it’s some avoidable and specific flavor that he really hates (cilantro, olives, etc)

Also I’m laughing at him and his lame pickiness bc once you’re pregnant, duh it’s not going to matter what he wants to eat!!!