Private school's odd new pick up and dismissal policy

[Anonymous]

I think this is strange. Not the carpooling part, but the "only carpool" pick-up policy. It's one thing if you carpool and they want to keep the carpool line going. But you should also be allowed to park and come get your child. This would bother me greatly. I always wanted to see my toddler in person in school since it helped with transitions. Putting him in the back of the car would not have worked for him or me.

The school is not allowing to build any sense of community either. This is too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is strange. Not the carpooling part, but the "only carpool" pick-up policy. It's one thing if you carpool and they want to keep the carpool line going. But you should also be allowed to park and come get your child. This would bother me greatly. I always wanted to see my toddler in person in school since it helped with transitions. Putting him in the back of the car would not have worked for him or me.

The school is not allowing to build any sense of community either. This is too bad.

I completely agree with this. I've had my children in several types of schools, and now I can say clearly that I have a problem with schools that don't let the parents inside, and that don't allow teachers to make a nice comment or two to parents at the beginning or end of the day.

OP, there are a lot of schools out there that are more "open" and which have great communication between parents and teachers. I would look for one of those next year if this school's new policies bother you. My children's new schools all allow parents the choice of carpool line or walking in to drop off/pick up their kids. Their teachers always have something to say, even though I don't stop to chat and disrupt whatever they're doing at the moment. I am free to show up at the schools at any time to see my kids, and there are tons and tons of opportunities for me to volunteer or be in the schools with my kids. (Admittedly I don't take advantage of these very often, but it makes me feel very reassured that the schools are so open and that parents are often floating around.)

Good luck! I think you'll get used to the buckling part, but the school culture seems very closed. That would bother me, even though I'm sure it's a fine school.

[Anonymous]

I am so glad I am not the only one who feels this way. It is a very impersonal way to conduct a school, and not necessary as my child went to a much larger school last year and they were able to avoid this mandatory car line, no talking whatsoever, no parking and getting your child or picking them up on foot.

As a new parent at the school it is not a way to make us feel welcome and encourage participation. We trust them to care for and educate our children, there needs to be an open line of communication even if it is a few words during pick up.

Thanks for your help everyone, I now understand why they are doing this and I can decide for myself how I feel about it and whether this is what I want for my kids. It has been a real culture shock moving back to the US after being away for 15 years....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so glad I am not the only one who feels this way. It is a very impersonal way to conduct a school, and not necessary as my child went to a much larger school last year and they were able to avoid this mandatory car line, no talking whatsoever, no parking and getting your child or picking them up on foot.

As a new parent at the school it is not a way to make us feel welcome and encourage participation. We trust them to care for and educate our children, there needs to be an open line of communication even if it is a few words during pick up.

Thanks for your help everyone, I now understand why they are doing this and I can decide for myself how I feel about it and whether this is what I want for my kids. It has been a real culture shock moving back to the US after being away for 15 years....

If your school does not run K-12, then you may need to rule out a host of other schools which have similar pick-up/dismissal policies. We attend a school which has a similar policy to your DC's; I'm not a fan of the policy, but I've easily figured out how to work around it and cultivate a community. Many DC and close-in suburban indies have similar policies.

[Anonymous]

I have kids at two very different privates and this really isn't typical. I do think as kids get older its best that they walk to and from their classrooms themselves but when they are young, its nice to have brief facetime with the teachers. I wonder if OP's school encourages parents to volunteer or if they really want no parents in the building.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this Aiden? They have a very strict, keep parents away from the school kind of thing. This may be normal for montessories but it is not normal in general.

I've had kids in a typical, play-based nursery school and kids in montessori. Its been my experience that montessori schools do want to keep parents at arms length. Not sure why. The typical nursery expected parents to pop in, hang out, take their kids in and out of the classroom, etc. I am guessing its in keeping with the montessori way to have a 'method' to drop off and pick up and that they are a bit fearful of parents b/c they may distract/disrupt the kids and teaching method and the routines. Typical nursery school is much more warm and welcoming in general. This has nothing to do with the size of the school, imo.

[Anonymous]

My DS is in a small school and they have a modified K&S situation. Dropoff, we unbuckle our child, the teacher comes to the car to pickup. Pickup, teacher brings child and helps him/her into car. Parent must buckle into carseat. I would not be comfortable with another adult buckling in my child. I am familiar with his carseat and how to use it. I am not going to expect a teacher to be. Plus, I would assume it would be a HUGE liability if a teacher buckled a child in wrong and then the child was injured in the car due to that. FWIW, we are not allowed to park and pickup either (there is just to much going on during pickup and not enough parking etc...). Teachers do speak briefly to us, but also have written us notes for the day in our child's notebook that gets sent home each night.

[Anonymous]

OP, you'll get used to this new policy--and you'll love it! Our school does this and it saves us a lot of time at pick up and drop off.

[Anonymous]

PP's are right that it is common here, but I hate it, too. I want to hug my kid bye & hi at drop-off and pick up, and I've met lots of other parents/friends by hanging out in front of the doors to pick up my kids. I do understand that the teachers might not be free to chat with parents at those times, as they need to attend to the children, but being able to see each other face-to-face on a regular basis contributes tremendously to a sense of community.

[Anonymous]

Both of my DC's schools do this yet both schools also have parents volunteer in the classroom often. At our schools, I think it's more about trying to avoid hundreds of cars clogging up the parking lots and causing chaos, during pick up and drop off.

[Anonymous]

This is very normal in big cities where traffic is an issues.

[Anonymous]

I agree that this is typical at many schools, but it is definitely NOT normal that you aren't allowed to park and walk in to get your child. As long as you are parking in a legal space, I really don't see how the school can deny this.

[Anonymous]

They should not be doing the buckling themselves. If a kid is ever incorrectly buckled and there is an accident, the school will be liable for any injuries to the child. I would never allow someone else to take that kind of responsibility for my child, especially since it seems like it's been done in the interest of speed (!). Our preschool carpool line requirement is that you must get out of the car and do the buckling yourself - and this is in a neighborhood that definitely has it's own traffic/congestion issues.