Spending money for a freshman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I asked this question a while back. Tried to find the thread to share the link, but it's buried deep.

Basically, it's ALL over the place. Some parents are like "he's 18 he's on his own," and some are like "kid has our credit card and spends $5k a month and we don't monitor it."

I came away from that as I always do ("who ARE you people and who hurt you??") and figuring I'd provide around $500 a semester, in addition to paying for housing and meal plan and fees that cover local transportation.

Thanks! I'd like to come somewhere in the middle as well. Not a free for all, but I assume we'll cover some things. DH's parents made him pay for his dental work in college - including wisdom teeth removal! - which seems nutso to me.

One thing we will do is no questions asked Uber after dark - since it is an urban location, I don't want him to walk or take public trans if it isn't safe. I trust him not to abuse this.

Yikes, your poor DH!

Some random things I want and don't want:
I don't want my kids to have enough money to be taken advantage of. Like everyone assuming they'll pick up the tab.
I do want them to have enough that they're not always missing out on fun college/ learning/ social experiences. (That was me in college. The sadness of having to sit out a trip to the city with my art professor and a cheap beach weekend with friends has stayed with me.)
I don't want them to feel like it's a perpetual parental money spigot.
I do want them to feel cared for.
I do want them to feel motivated to earn their own money because they know mine is not endless (we're already there-- they worked some in HS and both have summer jobs)
I don't want them making false economies.
I do want them to learn to make smart spending decisions, delay gratification, budget, get a sense of value. (Eg, $40 tickets to a club show with friends? Yes! $400 tickets to a stadium concert? Noooo)

[Anonymous]

Random question - how much do kids usually get for HS graduation? I am thinking a few thousand when it is all added up?

[Anonymous]

Spending money is the money they earn in the summer. At least that’s how it works in my house. $1500 is plenty; it will teach him how to budget.

[Anonymous]

DD uses apple pay with my credit card. We don't limit her but she's pretty responsible overall and doesn't go crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I asked this question a while back. Tried to find the thread to share the link, but it's buried deep.

Basically, it's ALL over the place. Some parents are like "he's 18 he's on his own," and some are like "kid has our credit card and spends $5k a month and we don't monitor it."

I came away from that as I always do ("who ARE you people and who hurt you??") and figuring I'd provide around $500 a semester, in addition to paying for housing and meal plan and fees that cover local transportation.

Thanks! I'd like to come somewhere in the middle as well. Not a free for all, but I assume we'll cover some things. DH's parents made him pay for his dental work in college - including wisdom teeth removal! - which seems nutso to me.

One thing we will do is no questions asked Uber after dark - since it is an urban location, I don't want him to walk or take public trans if it isn't safe. I trust him not to abuse this.

Yikes, your poor DH!

Some random things I want and don't want:
I don't want my kids to have enough money to be taken advantage of. Like everyone assuming they'll pick up the tab.
I do want them to have enough that they're not always missing out on fun college/ learning/ social experiences. (That was me in college. The sadness of having to sit out a trip to the city with my art professor and a cheap beach weekend with friends has stayed with me.)
I don't want them to feel like it's a perpetual parental money spigot.
I do want them to feel cared for.
I do want them to feel motivated to earn their own money because they know mine is not endless (we're already there-- they worked some in HS and both have summer jobs)
I don't want them making false economies.
I do want them to learn to make smart spending decisions, delay gratification, budget, get a sense of value. (Eg, $40 tickets to a club show with friends? Yes! $400 tickets to a stadium concert? Noooo)

I agree with all this and like your way of putting it. We have given our college kids $100/month while at school. Anything beyond that they need to earn. This has worked for us so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I asked this question a while back. Tried to find the thread to share the link, but it's buried deep.

Basically, it's ALL over the place. Some parents are like "he's 18 he's on his own," and some are like "kid has our credit card and spends $5k a month and we don't monitor it."

I came away from that as I always do ("who ARE you people and who hurt you??") and figuring I'd provide around $500 a semester, in addition to paying for housing and meal plan and fees that cover local transportation.

Thanks! I'd like to come somewhere in the middle as well. Not a free for all, but I assume we'll cover some things. DH's parents made him pay for his dental work in college - including wisdom teeth removal! - which seems nutso to me.

One thing we will do is no questions asked Uber after dark - since it is an urban location, I don't want him to walk or take public trans if it isn't safe. I trust him not to abuse this.

Yikes, your poor DH!

Some random things I want and don't want:
I don't want my kids to have enough money to be taken advantage of. Like everyone assuming they'll pick up the tab.
I do want them to have enough that they're not always missing out on fun college/ learning/ social experiences. (That was me in college. The sadness of having to sit out a trip to the city with my art professor and a cheap beach weekend with friends has stayed with me.)
I don't want them to feel like it's a perpetual parental money spigot.
I do want them to feel cared for.
I do want them to feel motivated to earn their own money because they know mine is not endless (we're already there-- they worked some in HS and both have summer jobs)
I don't want them making false economies.
I do want them to learn to make smart spending decisions, delay gratification, budget, get a sense of value. (Eg, $40 tickets to a club show with friends? Yes! $400 tickets to a stadium concert? Noooo)

OP here. This is perfect. And yes, DH's parents did him and their relationship no good with their ridiculous tight-fistedness. He resents them to this day.

[Anonymous]

We give them a credit card. No set budget

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Random question - how much do kids usually get for HS graduation? I am thinking a few thousand when it is all added up?

A few thousand? Hell no. My kid maybe got $200 or so.

[Anonymous]

We give DD nothing. She has earnings from jobs in high school that she uses. My friend who is married to a doctor gives their daughter $2500/month and was wondering if that was enough. Lol

[Anonymous]

We don’t do spending money, that’s on them. I’m puzzled that your kid is only coming out of the summer with $1500? It’s still early summer do they not have a way to make more than that? Even assuming minimum wage that’s not much time working surely they can put themselves out there for some other gigs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t do spending money, that’s on them. I’m puzzled that your kid is only coming out of the summer with $1500? It’s still early summer do they not have a way to make more than that? Even assuming minimum wage that’s not much time working surely they can put themselves out there for some other gigs?

School goes until mid-June. Then he is taking a 10 day vacation which he definitely needs! Will work for about 6 weeks. They're only promising him 30 hours/week right now, is hoping to pick up more, but we'll see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Random question - how much do kids usually get for HS graduation? I am thinking a few thousand when it is all added up?

You have to have parties, solicit gifts, or have relatives who automatically gift to get a lot.

My SIL gave my son $500. I think maybe he got no more than $500 from all others combined, including grandparents. We did not have a party or do announcements. And our family is small. I was shocked by the SIL gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS has a job this summer and will make some money, but not a ton, maybe $1500 post tax (and he'll presumably want to spend money this summer as well). What's a reasonable amount for spending money per semester? School is an urban location, but he's not a foodie or theater goer or other things that would be especially expensive.

$15k/mo for my son plus access to the family netjet once a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Random question - how much do kids usually get for HS graduation? I am thinking a few thousand when it is all added up?

In my family, barely any $, if any at all.

[Anonymous]

I want my kid to feel cared for but the $80k year we’re paying ought to help with that.

When I say we have kids earn spending money, I don’t mean we expect them to pay for essentials like dental work. Or plane tickets/transport home. But food beyond the meal plan, drinks, activities, drugstore stuff, yes. I want my kids to have some sense of what things cost. I don’t want their QoL to crater when they take their first real job.