Why does my parents estate attorney want me to sign something with a notary present?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if you are still the beneficiary of something of your father's and they would like you to sign away your beneficiary rights?

How do you find out something like this?
…if you’re supposed to receive an inheritance?

[Anonymous]

I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask them to email you the document so you can review it before you go to sign. If you have concerns, see if you can get an hour with a contract attorney to advise you.

If you really feel like the money is from something that your mother and stepfather have built together, I would let them arrange things as they like and move on with the life you have.

+ 100 how is this even a question. Do not just show up to sign something. Have it emailed to you in advance. Consult a trust and estates attorney as needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

Yes, my mother was in her 40’s and he was in his 20’s. In many ways he co-opted my mother since he had a very absent and dysfunctional mother. I was sent to boarding school at 10 years old (for disruptive kids) because I acted out from the neglect.

I have bitterness from the past, but it’s not about money. I would never challenge what they want to do with their money, and they have actually been very generous with me.

But it is hurtful to imagine they are trying to get me to sign something that is intended to go above and beyond to shut me out when I have never given indication I would be the kind of person to contest a will.

But maybe the PPs are right, and it could be anything. I like the idea to ask to have it sent to me in advance so I review it, potentially with an attorney just so I understand what I am signing.

[Anonymous]

Can you just come out and ask them this question? See how they respond.

[Anonymous]

I had to get something signed with a notary for my dad's estate. I can't remember what it was. But it could be legit for you. My dad is the most honest wholesome person to exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you just come out and ask them this question? See how they respond.

I don’t get clear answers. They may not understand themselves.

[Anonymous]

is it possible they are asking you to be executer for one or both of them?

is there any bank account or mortgage or property that your name is on and they are trying to plan for that?

[Anonymous]

Some states make it hard to disinherit a child. Sometimes if a child isn't mentioned in a will, the door is open for that child to claim it was unintentional or raise other grounds for challenging a will.

My guess is it's a no contest agreement.

[Anonymous]

I had to sign stuff to be the executor of my step mother’s will. It was essentially an acknowledgment that I had fiduciary duties to my siblings, but that I agreed to do it without charging the estate any cost for my services. I did inherit (close to) equally under the will, but youngest sib was a minor at the time. My step mother encouraged me to have a lawyer review it, so I asked a friend. All on the up and up/consistent with my intentions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

Yes, my mother was in her 40’s and he was in his 20’s. In many ways he co-opted my mother since he had a very absent and dysfunctional mother. I was sent to boarding school at 10 years old (for disruptive kids) because I acted out from the neglect.

I have bitterness from the past, but it’s not about money. I would never challenge what they want to do with their money, and they have actually been very generous with me.

But it is hurtful to imagine they are trying to get me to sign something that is intended to go above and beyond to shut me out when I have never given indication I would be the kind of person to contest a will.

But maybe the PPs are right, and it could be anything. I like the idea to ask to have it sent to me in advance so I review it, potentially with an attorney just so I understand what I am signing.

I'm left with two conclusions based on what you're telling us. One is that where you live or where your mother lives is not in the United States and as such you need to speak to the lawyers of your country as it will have a different legal system and the advice on here are not recognizing a different set of laws surrounding inheritances. The other is that the mother and her husband are taking proactive steps to protect themselves from a disturbed family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

Yes, my mother was in her 40’s and he was in his 20’s. In many ways he co-opted my mother since he had a very absent and dysfunctional mother. I was sent to boarding school at 10 years old (for disruptive kids) because I acted out from the neglect.

I have bitterness from the past, but it’s not about money. I would never challenge what they want to do with their money, and they have actually been very generous with me.

But it is hurtful to imagine they are trying to get me to sign something that is intended to go above and beyond to shut me out when I have never given indication I would be the kind of person to contest a will.

But maybe the PPs are right, and it could be anything. I like the idea to ask to have it sent to me in advance so I review it, potentially with an attorney just so I understand what I am signing.

I'm left with two conclusions based on what you're telling us. One is that where you live or where your mother lives is not in the United States and as such you need to speak to the lawyers of your country as it will have a different legal system and the advice on here are not recognizing a different set of laws surrounding inheritances. The other is that the mother and her husband are taking proactive steps to protect themselves from a disturbed family member.

Ok, Angela Lansbury. I am a VP at a F500 company living in the United States in a different state from my parents. So you are a tad off base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

Yes, my mother was in her 40’s and he was in his 20’s. In many ways he co-opted my mother since he had a very absent and dysfunctional mother. I was sent to boarding school at 10 years old (for disruptive kids) because I acted out from the neglect.

I have bitterness from the past, but it’s not about money. I would never challenge what they want to do with their money, and they have actually been very generous with me.

But it is hurtful to imagine they are trying to get me to sign something that is intended to go above and beyond to shut me out when I have never given indication I would be the kind of person to contest a will.

But maybe the PPs are right, and it could be anything. I like the idea to ask to have it sent to me in advance so I review it, potentially with an attorney just so I understand what I am signing.

I'm left with two conclusions based on what you're telling us. One is that where you live or where your mother lives is not in the United States and as such you need to speak to the lawyers of your country as it will have a different legal system and the advice on here are not recognizing a different set of laws surrounding inheritances. The other is that the mother and her husband are taking proactive steps to protect themselves from a disturbed family member.

PP, what are you even talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am intrigued by some of the details. Your mother is 15 years older than her husband. They married a few years after your dad died 40 years ago, when you were just 1. I guess your mother could have been in her 40s with a baby and married a man in his 20s. Unusual for sure. And they're still together 40 years later.

I always read these stories thinking of the other perspective. It's possible the mother and husband in this scenario are seeking to protect their estate.

Yes, my mother was in her 40’s and he was in his 20’s. In many ways he co-opted my mother since he had a very absent and dysfunctional mother. I was sent to boarding school at 10 years old (for disruptive kids) because I acted out from the neglect.

I have bitterness from the past, but it’s not about money. I would never challenge what they want to do with their money, and they have actually been very generous with me.

But it is hurtful to imagine they are trying to get me to sign something that is intended to go above and beyond to shut me out when I have never given indication I would be the kind of person to contest a will.

But maybe the PPs are right, and it could be anything. I like the idea to ask to have it sent to me in advance so I review it, potentially with an attorney just so I understand what I am signing.

I'm left with two conclusions based on what you're telling us. One is that where you live or where your mother lives is not in the United States and as such you need to speak to the lawyers of your country as it will have a different legal system and the advice on here are not recognizing a different set of laws surrounding inheritances. The other is that the mother and her husband are taking proactive steps to protect themselves from a disturbed family member.

PP, what are you even talking about?

I shared that I was treated poorly as a child (sent to boarding school at 10 for “bad kids”, and PP concluded that I am “disturbed”.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a person who has tried to move on from childhood neglect. But that doesn’t mean you have to just sign whatever these people put in front of you. Ask them to email you a copy for your review. If they won’t do that, then you aren’t going to sign. If they do send it, pay a few hundred bucks for a lawyer to walk through it with you. A VP at a Fortune 500 can afford that.

And frankly, maybe you should consider contesting the will of you live in a state that doesn’t allow disinheritance of kids. But you can figure that out later. Just don’t waive that right now if that is what the request is.