Simple weddings and happier marriages

[Anonymous]

I don't know if there is a relationship. My wedding was simple and very frugal, but we are happily married going on 25 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of couples and lots of cultures in lots of countries have extravagant weddings. It is not an American phenomenon. Also, lots of folks decide not to have a fancy wedding. They’re not judged for that either - generally speaking.

It’s only on websites such as this, where everyone is so competitive and such a striver that you see posts like this. Strivers gets so angry when they realize they cannot compete, so they post this kind of bullshit.

Yeah, but in those cultures there isn't massive price gouging like what they do to couples here in the US.

And you know this how? Also, that’s beside the point.

[Anonymous]

We paid for college including grad school for our kids and set aside 50k for each child’s wedding. No regrets. Normal UMC neighborhood and friends we know have done the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of couples and lots of cultures in lots of countries have extravagant weddings. It is not an American phenomenon. Also, lots of folks decide not to have a fancy wedding. They’re not judged for that either - generally speaking.

It’s only on websites such as this, where everyone is so competitive and such a striver that you see posts like this. Strivers gets so angry when they realize they cannot compete, so they post this kind of bullshit.

Yeah, but in those cultures there isn't massive price gouging like what they do to couples here in the US.

And you know this how? Also, that’s beside the point.

We did our wedding in my wife's home country. It was about $13k ALL in for venue, food, flowers, photographer, and booze. It had nothing to do with exchange rates. Even after accounting for PPP, the cost per plate of food in my wife's home country was about 4-5 fold less expensive than we'd have to pay in the US.

Weddings in the US are just like healthcare in the US - vastly overpriced nonsense. It's so much cheaper everywhere else in the world even after factoring in incomes and exchange rates. Everything in the US is a hustle. Everyone is trying to rip eachother off in the US.

[Anonymous]

We spent six figures on our wedding 14 years ago. My parents paid for it happily. We had over 200 guests and it was black tie. It was lovely and one of the best days ever. We still look back fondly at how nice it was to have grandparents and extended family all in one place to celebrate. We haven't had any other event since then where everyone we loved was in one place. Still happily married and don't regret the money spent at all.

[Anonymous]

"couples"?

A man pays because two women insist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of couples and lots of cultures in lots of countries have extravagant weddings. It is not an American phenomenon. Also, lots of folks decide not to have a fancy wedding. They’re not judged for that either - generally speaking.

It’s only on websites such as this, where everyone is so competitive and such a striver that you see posts like this. Strivers gets so angry when they realize they cannot compete, so they post this kind of bullshit.

Yeah, but in those cultures there isn't massive price gouging like what they do to couples here in the US.

And you know this how? Also, that’s beside the point.

We did our wedding in my wife's home country. It was about $13k ALL in for venue, food, flowers, photographer, and booze. It had nothing to do with exchange rates. Even after accounting for PPP, the cost per plate of food in my wife's home country was about 4-5 fold less expensive than we'd have to pay in the US.

Weddings in the US are just like healthcare in the US - vastly overpriced nonsense. It's so much cheaper everywhere else in the world even after factoring in incomes and exchange rates. Everything in the US is a hustle. Everyone is trying to rip eachother off in the US.

Oh, OK. Now I get it. Because you had your wedding in one specific country and that was your experience that allows you to generalize about all other countries and all other cultures and all other weddings. Thanks for clarifying that.

[Anonymous]

Some people can afford it and they should be able to enjoy their own money.
Of course don’t go in debt for a wedding.
I love my extravagant wedding and nice things in general, it’s also what makes me savvy about pursuing income. My partner shouldn’t expect to marry a low material standard person and wonder why that person isn’t eager to move up the corp ladder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:American weddings are dumb AF. How many other places in the world out pressure on young couples to go horrifically into debt for a stupid ass wedding? Between debt for the ring to having to shell out $10-20k for booze, wedding culture in the US is so illogical and stupid. They gouge the crap out of new couple and charge 3x the price for horrible food, just because it is a wedding.

We did a courthouse wedding, went to a $250 dinner, and are still married 20 years later. Zero debt and were able to buy a house because of it.

I know of plenty of couples who had country club weddings, with professional photographers, catering, open bar, band/dj, wedding favors, fancy rings, etc., who are ALSO married over 20 years later. There's zero correlation between having an inexpensive wedding and having a happy marriage.

[Anonymous]

...and the brainwashing from the diamond industry about a guy should spend 3-4 months of salary on an engagement diamond is a big scam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a nice wedding in my home country that was a fraction of what it could cost in the US. Probably would have been 6 figures here

My aunt just shell out 60k usb to pay the bride price in my home country. Shes 58 and couldn’t retire because of this.
Meanwhile my mom who retired at 50 has the audacity to cry about not collecting a bride price on me. I just roll eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...and the brainwashing from the diamond industry about a guy should spend 3-4 months of salary on an engagement diamond is a big scam.

Totally, expecting a guy to be inconvenienced is a big scam!
But expecting a girl to bear children, do house work for free and bring home equal paycheck, is somehow not a scam 😌

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:American weddings are dumb AF. How many other places in the world out pressure on young couples to go horrifically into debt for a stupid ass wedding? Between debt for the ring to having to shell out $10-20k for booze, wedding culture in the US is so illogical and stupid. They gouge the crap out of new couple and charge 3x the price for horrible food, just because it is a wedding.

We did a courthouse wedding, went to a $250 dinner, and are still married 20 years later. Zero debt and were able to buy a house because of it.

I know of plenty of couples who had country club weddings, with professional photographers, catering, open bar, band/dj, wedding favors, fancy rings, etc., who are ALSO married over 20 years later. There's zero correlation between having an inexpensive wedding and having a happy marriage.

+1 The majority of the weddings I've been to have been big weddings, and I have never been to a wedding of a couple that ended up getting divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a lovely, black tie, DC wedding. We tried to keep it simple, but still had 120 people. I definitely skipped a lot of things: flowers (other than my bouquet), no kids (we didn't know any though, we got married young). But we had a beautiful venue, open bar, good food and dancing. No regrets and we definitely have the best marriage I know of. We had family coming from far away, so we couldn't just have appetizers. When people spend a lot of time and money to come to your wedding, it's cheap to not have a bar and real food.

Anecdotal, but the worst marriages I know were courthouse weddings and destination weddings.

Ha, courthouse wedding here, thirty five years of bliss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...and the brainwashing from the diamond industry about a guy should spend 3-4 months of salary on an engagement diamond is a big scam.

Totally, expecting a guy to be inconvenienced is a big scam!
But expecting a girl to bear children, do house work for free and bring home equal paycheck, is somehow not a scam 😌

Honey if you do not want to get married and slave away as you seem to think it is, then do not. But stop putting your crap on everyone else.