How do you manage being the next of kin for multiple out of state / country while also …

[Anonymous]

OP, if you just want to chat, share your story and chat.

If you want to tactically improve your situation, tell us more about your next of kin person/people and what other family they have. If you want, make posts about your other complications you mentiones

Making a plan will help you get through these tough times. People can help you figure out how to schedule your obligations, and find others to hand off to.

It's going to be hard.

You make think you can't handle everything, but you can figure out how. Take a breath, and work on getting organized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's not your responsibility to fix their problem. It's not your responsibility to figure it out or know how else it's going to work. You can say no. There are hospital social workers, as just one example. It's actually irresponsible for you to take on this role if you should be giving your own family your full attention.

OP is next of kin. The person is on fat fact her own family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's not your responsibility to fix their problem. It's not your responsibility to figure it out or know how else it's going to work. You can say no. There are hospital social workers, as just one example. It's actually irresponsible for you to take on this role if you should be giving your own family your full attention.

OP is next of kin. The person is on fat fact her own family.

Not the person you are responding to, but just because you are the person's only family doesn't mean you have to be POA, or contact person or any of that. If OP cannot handle that, she needs to let them know so they can ask friends or pay professionals. It needs to happen ASAP. You cannot abandon someone who is already incapacitated. She needs to let them know while they are perfectly capable of figuring this all out. I had to do this with a sibling who was downright nasty to me my whole life and with whom i was never close, but because I am FAMILY everyone expected me to be there. I declined with the first ask. I have many valid reasons right within the family I created including a seriously ill husband at the time and this sibling undermines me at every turn. It still got ugly and my own mother stopped talking to me even though she herself had periods of estrangement from this sibling/her daughte3r. The whole experience was painful, but I did it right away while she was completely able bodied. The fallout lasted and I cannot even attend family events with her there because she will lash out. She doesn't talk to her ex and she burns through friends, so she finally hired herself POAs, and accountant and lawyer to manage things. I may not like her, but I am glad she has a team for when she needs it. If I had said "yes" and didn't mean it, I risked having her gravely ill one day with nobody there for her.