sort of a spin off can someone explain the element of surprise in proposals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand a spontaneous proposal. My husband asked me to marry him on our second date. He came to our casual date with a rose from his garden. It was lovely. We had a long distance relationship for 2 years before we actually lived together and started planning in earnest.

But a proposal where everything is prepared in advance and the woman is unwittingly led in front of an audience to hear her boyfriend propose? No, I wouldn't like that.

I had assumed OP meant the former, which seems like the normal way to propose to me. The other way is too much.

I proposed by surprise but the only preparation I made was to get a ring.

Op here. I mean even in private I don't get it. I don't understand the "surprise" element at all. I understand to people agreeing to be married. I understand waiting something to mark that - a ring or whatever. What I don't understand is the need for an element of surprise teehee he asked me at Christmas, or over dinner, or on the beach or the hinting about types of ring

Women like them.

Op here. I ama woman, though I am on the spectrum and there are many things Women like I don't get. I guess I'm just trying to understand why this is a thing.

This explains why you have difficulty understanding points of view that are not your own. That's alright, OP, there are times when it's not really important to understand other points of view, and this is one of those times. Proposals are not important.

I am not on the spectrum, but I married someone who is. I'm the person who received a rose and a proposal on the second date. He hadn't prepared a ring. He just thought: "I will be leaving the country soon and I've just met someone I can see myself being married to. Let me ask today, since I'm meeting her for a walk and a lunch." That was the extent of his reflection on the subject! He did not think it was a big deal and neither did I. But it turned out lovely, because his rose smelled divinely, and he asked as we were walking in a zoo. I'm an animal biologist, and receiving a proposal in front of the wallaby pen is pretty cool.

But in general, I'm not fond of surprises, especially ones that involve a group of people seeing my reaction. This time it was just us and wallabies, so it was fine.

[Anonymous]

We had talked hypothetically about about getting married while we were dating, and how we'd handle certain things, but the actual proposal was a surprise (when, where, how), and I loved it. Happily married 25.3 years