Younger people everywhere are unhappier — NYT

[Anonymous]

The pursuit for happiness articles/books has become so cliche.

There is not landing on happiness.

All emotions happen all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is only a small subset. My children and their friends are all quite happy and active. Perhaps it has to do with family wealth and upbringing, more than making large general assumptions.

My children have family wealth and lots of activities. That has not insulated them from the cliques and exclusionary behavior of teens. Parents are obsessed with their kids’ popularity and don’t care if their kids are good people in the process of becoming popular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We destroyed childhood and young adulthood. We made it competitive, stressful, and pressure filled. You used to be allowed to be lazy and idle in your youth, to experiment and try stuff out without major consequences.

Now kids are told at a very young age that their grades and test scores even starting in elementary school can have lifelong impacts (for admission to G&T programs or magnet schools). College has become absolutely essential even for many fields that didn't use to require it, at the same time that it's become prohibitively expensive and it's increasingly competitive to get into even average state colleges (because everyone feels pressure to go). The rise of the two-income family has coincided with intensifying job expectations and constant connectivity to work, so families that used to have real downtime where kids could be home with one or both parents with few demands on anyone, now have intense schedules coordinating childcare, two jobs, kid's activities and academic commitments (remember you can't slack, you have to be go go go or you might never get a college degree and thus never get a job).

We've also totally privatized childrearing. Kids don't play in the street or at the neighborhood park anymore, they no longer have more cohesive community through their schools. They are in private childcare or activities, public schools are overwhelmed and don't perform the community role they used to. Fewer families go to church so they don't get that support there. So now these parents, who are working more than ever, are also independently responsible for teaching their kids how to be people and navigate the world, either personally or via people they pay to do it.

We destroyed childhood. We destroyed summer, we destroyed after school, we ruined school sports and activities. We ruined academics with a fixation on test taking and benchmarking over wholistic learning, sustained attention, and deep learning. Oh yeah, and we addicted everyone to personal device screens which numb and distract but actually diminish happiness as they replace interpersonal interactions and physical activity, which are both known to boost endorphins and happiness.

We messed it up folks, but it's not too late. We can fix it. But step one is to acknowledge we have a problem.

Ok but how? Be specific.

[Anonymous]

Parents that continually inundate their children with apocryphal notions of danger from the climate, the government and the justice system are the reason younger people are unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We destroyed childhood and young adulthood. We made it competitive, stressful, and pressure filled. You used to be allowed to be lazy and idle in your youth, to experiment and try stuff out without major consequences.

Now kids are told at a very young age that their grades and test scores even starting in elementary school can have lifelong impacts (for admission to G&T programs or magnet schools). College has become absolutely essential even for many fields that didn't use to require it, at the same time that it's become prohibitively expensive and it's increasingly competitive to get into even average state colleges (because everyone feels pressure to go). The rise of the two-income family has coincided with intensifying job expectations and constant connectivity to work, so families that used to have real downtime where kids could be home with one or both parents with few demands on anyone, now have intense schedules coordinating childcare, two jobs, kid's activities and academic commitments (remember you can't slack, you have to be go go go or you might never get a college degree and thus never get a job).

We've also totally privatized childrearing. Kids don't play in the street or at the neighborhood park anymore, they no longer have more cohesive community through their schools. They are in private childcare or activities, public schools are overwhelmed and don't perform the community role they used to. Fewer families go to church so they don't get that support there. So now these parents, who are working more than ever, are also independently responsible for teaching their kids how to be people and navigate the world, either personally or via people they pay to do it.

We destroyed childhood. We destroyed summer, we destroyed after school, we ruined school sports and activities. We ruined academics with a fixation on test taking and benchmarking over wholistic learning, sustained attention, and deep learning. Oh yeah, and we addicted everyone to personal device screens which numb and distract but actually diminish happiness as they replace interpersonal interactions and physical activity, which are both known to boost endorphins and happiness.

We messed it up folks, but it's not too late. We can fix it. But step one is to acknowledge we have a problem.

“The internet is forever”. Social media has these kids quite messed up. The permanence of their lives on the internet makes them push for a life of perfection that doesn’t exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We destroyed childhood and young adulthood. We made it competitive, stressful, and pressure filled. You used to be allowed to be lazy and idle in your youth, to experiment and try stuff out without major consequences.

Now kids are told at a very young age that their grades and test scores even starting in elementary school can have lifelong impacts (for admission to G&T programs or magnet schools). College has become absolutely essential even for many fields that didn't use to require it, at the same time that it's become prohibitively expensive and it's increasingly competitive to get into even average state colleges (because everyone feels pressure to go). The rise of the two-income family has coincided with intensifying job expectations and constant connectivity to work, so families that used to have real downtime where kids could be home with one or both parents with few demands on anyone, now have intense schedules coordinating childcare, two jobs, kid's activities and academic commitments (remember you can't slack, you have to be go go go or you might never get a college degree and thus never get a job).

We've also totally privatized childrearing. Kids don't play in the street or at the neighborhood park anymore, they no longer have more cohesive community through their schools. They are in private childcare or activities, public schools are overwhelmed and don't perform the community role they used to. Fewer families go to church so they don't get that support there. So now these parents, who are working more than ever, are also independently responsible for teaching their kids how to be people and navigate the world, either personally or via people they pay to do it.

We destroyed childhood. We destroyed summer, we destroyed after school, we ruined school sports and activities. We ruined academics with a fixation on test taking and benchmarking over wholistic learning, sustained attention, and deep learning. Oh yeah, and we addicted everyone to personal device screens which numb and distract but actually diminish happiness as they replace interpersonal interactions and physical activity, which are both known to boost endorphins and happiness.

We messed it up folks, but it's not too late. We can fix it. But step one is to acknowledge we have a problem.

Ok but how? Be specific.

dp.. when we first moved here, my kids were 4 and 7. I made them go outside and play, told them to go outside and find kids to play with (we live in a very safe suburban neighborhood). They would come back and say no one was outside. I hesitated putting them in more than one activity, but it seemed like all the kids around here were in multiple activities and rarely played outside. My kids played by themselves a lot.

I regret moving here in many ways.

FWIW, one of my kids is "gifted" and did go through the magnet program but we never pushed them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We destroyed childhood and young adulthood. We made it competitive, stressful, and pressure filled. You used to be allowed to be lazy and idle in your youth, to experiment and try stuff out without major consequences.

Now kids are told at a very young age that their grades and test scores even starting in elementary school can have lifelong impacts (for admission to G&T programs or magnet schools). College has become absolutely essential even for many fields that didn't use to require it, at the same time that it's become prohibitively expensive and it's increasingly competitive to get into even average state colleges (because everyone feels pressure to go). The rise of the two-income family has coincided with intensifying job expectations and constant connectivity to work, so families that used to have real downtime where kids could be home with one or both parents with few demands on anyone, now have intense schedules coordinating childcare, two jobs, kid's activities and academic commitments (remember you can't slack, you have to be go go go or you might never get a college degree and thus never get a job).

We've also totally privatized childrearing. Kids don't play in the street or at the neighborhood park anymore, they no longer have more cohesive community through their schools. They are in private childcare or activities, public schools are overwhelmed and don't perform the community role they used to. Fewer families go to church so they don't get that support there. So now these parents, who are working more than ever, are also independently responsible for teaching their kids how to be people and navigate the world, either personally or via people they pay to do it.

We destroyed childhood. We destroyed summer, we destroyed after school, we ruined school sports and activities. We ruined academics with a fixation on test taking and benchmarking over wholistic learning, sustained attention, and deep learning. Oh yeah, and we addicted everyone to personal device screens which numb and distract but actually diminish happiness as they replace interpersonal interactions and physical activity, which are both known to boost endorphins and happiness.

We messed it up folks, but it's not too late. We can fix it. But step one is to acknowledge we have a problem.

“The internet is forever”. Social media has these kids quite messed up. The permanence of their lives on the internet makes them push for a life of perfection that doesn’t exist.

Great posts. Completely agree. We have also destroyed adult romantic sexual relationships now that everyone has a personalized porn device in their pocket at all times.

I don't know what the solution is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/p/DJ7A8-YgFHM/

This is sad to see. Although it's interesting to me that older people seem to be happier than people in middle age. Is that true? I thought there was an elderly mental health crisis. Rise in suicide rates among elderly etc

Myself am ncreasingly depressed to see that my children are set to inherit a world that is deepening in inequity and loss of opportunity and rise in social media which only makes everything worse. Kids have it tough these days.

I’m not going to say things are great right now, but I think people have a very short view of history to think things are exceptionally bad now. It’s not the 70’s when teenagers were being shipped off to Vietnam, or the 40’s when all the men were fighting WW2, or the Great Depression when people were out of work and starving, or the Civil War when the whole country was embroiled in war.

Sure things could be better, but let’s keep some sense of perspective on it all.

But shouldn't we want a better future for our kids and descendants? I do think it's concerning that it seems like the 90s were apparently the pinnacle of human civilization and everything since then has been going downhill.

Well said and agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/p/DJ7A8-YgFHM/

This is sad to see. Although it's interesting to me that older people seem to be happier than people in middle age. Is that true? I thought there was an elderly mental health crisis. Rise in suicide rates among elderly etc

Myself am ncreasingly depressed to see that my children are set to inherit a world that is deepening in inequity and loss of opportunity and rise in social media which only makes everything worse. Kids have it tough these days.

It is the phones and social media.

Delay it for as loooooong as you can!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is only a small subset. My children and their friends are all quite happy and active. Perhaps it has to do with family wealth and upbringing, more than making large general assumptions.

My children have family wealth and lots of activities. That has not insulated them from the cliques and exclusionary behavior of teens. Parents are obsessed with their kids’ popularity and don’t care if their kids are good people in the process of becoming popular.

Yes....and in the northern VA area the adults seem to forget how to be kind and good people as well. I know someone who lives their life through their children. They are even mean about other peoples kids. Competition and cliques like we have now is unhealthy and there are a lot of sad humans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents that continually inundate their children with apocryphal notions of danger from the climate, the government and the justice system are the reason younger people are unhappy.

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/p/DJ7A8-YgFHM/

This is sad to see. Although it's interesting to me that older people seem to be happier than people in middle age. Is that true? I thought there was an elderly mental health crisis. Rise in suicide rates among elderly etc

Myself am ncreasingly depressed to see that my children are set to inherit a world that is deepening in inequity and loss of opportunity and rise in social media which only makes everything worse. Kids have it tough these days.

I think it's across the ages....more people are depressed with what this world has become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents that continually inundate their children with apocryphal notions of danger from the climate, the government and the justice system are the reason younger people are unhappy.

No

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too bad they will never see the article since it isn't in on tiktok.

My 14 year old boy has the NYT app and is always telling me about articles he read that I don’t know about. My 16 year old girl has no social media by choice. They’re both pretty happy kids. It’s not impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents that continually inundate their children with apocryphal notions of danger from the climate, the government and the justice system are the reason younger people are unhappy.

No

NP. This should be a yes, and you'd only say no if you're defensive that you did just that to your kids.