Student loans + now you have older kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some financial guru needs to help address longterm low-ish (4-6%) debt.

Dave Ramsey advice on “gazelle” attitude doesn’t apply. You cannot gazelle for a decade.

A decade or more, and you see that your whole life, kids childhood, passes before your eyes.

You can’t physically pay it off any faster, but you can’t make hardcore sacrifices for that long.

+1

I am not worried about my student loans. I consider it a mortgage payment.

OP here. Same. With some exceptions. We are on the borderline of “it is what it is. It will be gone one day, no problem.” And “this is why we have to say no to many things, this is why we don’t have as much saved, how can we get rid of it sooner and really start our financial life. We waste how much in interest? Omg it has been so long.”

[Anonymous]

OP, perhaps the White Coat Investor might have some insight. Here is the link, and he gives lots of good advice on Bogleheads.org

https://www.whitecoatinvestor.com

[Anonymous]

Op here, I should also share income. We’re about 180k annually. Take home feels a lot less, maybe 145-150k. DH is maxed out unless he opens a business or goes into emergency. I am not maxed out and actually anticipate a 50k-ish promotion in my field. (But not counting it until it hatches)

Needs/bills/debt minimum equals about 90k per year.

145 minus 90 is 55k for extra payments but also kids, (not restaurants), fun, or home repair. Extras. This 55k is where the battles are. New teen costs more. Some things are needs, some are wants, some are gray area. 2 younger kids don’t cost a lot, a lot. But some modest activities. Home ownership sucks.

**actually. Someone asked above about regret on the student loans. I regret our home purchase more. I was all-in about not wasting money on rent. But rent and mortgage would be comparable and we wouldn’t get hit with $6000 bills every year for something or other.**

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some financial guru needs to help address longterm low-ish (4-6%) debt.

Dave Ramsey advice on “gazelle” attitude doesn’t apply. You cannot gazelle for a decade.

A decade or more, and you see that your whole life, kids childhood, passes before your eyes.

You can’t physically pay it off any faster, but you can’t make hardcore sacrifices for that long.

+1

I am not worried about my student loans. I consider it a mortgage payment.

OP here. Same. With some exceptions. We are on the borderline of “it is what it is. It will be gone one day, no problem.” And “this is why we have to say no to many things, this is why we don’t have as much saved, how can we get rid of it sooner and really start our financial life. We waste how much in interest? Omg it has been so long.”

So why does your brother's approach bother you? Is it that you feel like you'll be upset if you still have loans at his age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some financial guru needs to help address longterm low-ish (4-6%) debt.

Dave Ramsey advice on “gazelle” attitude doesn’t apply. You cannot gazelle for a decade.

A decade or more, and you see that your whole life, kids childhood, passes before your eyes.

You can’t physically pay it off any faster, but you can’t make hardcore sacrifices for that long.

+1

I am not worried about my student loans. I consider it a mortgage payment.

OP here. Same. With some exceptions. We are on the borderline of “it is what it is. It will be gone one day, no problem.” And “this is why we have to say no to many things, this is why we don’t have as much saved, how can we get rid of it sooner and really start our financial life. We waste how much in interest? Omg it has been so long.”

So why does your brother's approach bother you? Is it that you feel like you'll be upset if you still have loans at his age?

I didn’t say it bothered me. Can you point me to what I said that gave that impression? I’m not offended, but his approach was worrying a bit, then getting massive income, and paying it off just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some financial guru needs to help address longterm low-ish (4-6%) debt.

Dave Ramsey advice on “gazelle” attitude doesn’t apply. You cannot gazelle for a decade.

A decade or more, and you see that your whole life, kids childhood, passes before your eyes.

You can’t physically pay it off any faster, but you can’t make hardcore sacrifices for that long.

+1

I am not worried about my student loans. I consider it a mortgage payment.

OP here. Same. With some exceptions. We are on the borderline of “it is what it is. It will be gone one day, no problem.” And “this is why we have to say no to many things, this is why we don’t have as much saved, how can we get rid of it sooner and really start our financial life. We waste how much in interest? Omg it has been so long.”

Life goes by fast. My kids traveled last year to my country of origin ( 20K expense). I want them to have that connection when they are young. I guess someone else could have put the 20k towards their student loans. For me, paying 6.5% interest on a loan that is erased if I die prematurely (fed student loans are forgiven upon death) is a fair price to pay to live life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some financial guru needs to help address longterm low-ish (4-6%) debt.

Dave Ramsey advice on “gazelle” attitude doesn’t apply. You cannot gazelle for a decade.

A decade or more, and you see that your whole life, kids childhood, passes before your eyes.

You can’t physically pay it off any faster, but you can’t make hardcore sacrifices for that long.

+1

I am not worried about my student loans. I consider it a mortgage payment.

OP here. Same. With some exceptions. We are on the borderline of “it is what it is. It will be gone one day, no problem.” And “this is why we have to say no to many things, this is why we don’t have as much saved, how can we get rid of it sooner and really start our financial life. We waste how much in interest? Omg it has been so long.”

Life goes by fast. My kids traveled last year to my country of origin ( 20K expense). I want them to have that connection when they are young. I guess someone else could have put the 20k towards their student loans. For me, paying 6.5% interest on a loan that is erased if I die prematurely (fed student loans are forgiven upon death) is a fair price to pay to live life.

This is awesome. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*the career we had debt for would dox DH and I. He is also locally a public figure.

Just know it is directly career related. If you see this career, 100% of them have loans (or had extremely rich parents). There is no way to do this career without loans, and it’s not undergrad debt.

Balance now 90k. Hitting a big stride in salaries, finally, but had early years of not getting paid enough.

On dcum, it’s typical for people to go “Wahhhatat?!” when learning we had kids young and during school. Dumb right? Well, give me a time machine I guess? It’s a moot point to the bigger question of still working on this while kids are growing.

I have more I could say about this, but it’s not the point. It makes asking for advice hard when people try to teach me a financial lesson that applies to 13 years ago.

The point is, I’d love to connect with anyone else on here in a similar boat. Anyone? Anyone?
-OP

Well I'd think the financial lesson that applies to right now is, don't let your kids get saddles with undergrad debt (I get that yours was grad school), because that way you at most have graduate school debt only. So whatever you can afford send them there. Most likely a state U or a private that gives merit to bring costs in line with state U. Have your kid work summers/PT/breaks and earn $10-12K/year (not that hard when min wage is $13-17+ in many areas).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some financial guru needs to help address longterm low-ish (4-6%) debt.

Dave Ramsey advice on “gazelle” attitude doesn’t apply. You cannot gazelle for a decade.

A decade or more, and you see that your whole life, kids childhood, passes before your eyes.

You can’t physically pay it off any faster, but you can’t make hardcore sacrifices for that long.

+1

I am not worried about my student loans. I consider it a mortgage payment.

OP here. Same. With some exceptions. We are on the borderline of “it is what it is. It will be gone one day, no problem.” And “this is why we have to say no to many things, this is why we don’t have as much saved, how can we get rid of it sooner and really start our financial life. We waste how much in interest? Omg it has been so long.”

So why does your brother's approach bother you? Is it that you feel like you'll be upset if you still have loans at his age?

I didn’t say it bothered me. Can you point me to what I said that gave that impression? I’m not offended, but his approach was worrying a bit, then getting massive income, and paying it off just fine.

You said it hit a nerve, which could mean a variety of feelings including being bothered, or my second question which is you being worried. You answered and explained. His approach is not uncommon and we have the same approach. The debt is probably very low and no big deal at this point so no rush to pay it off. It's a completely different feeling from the early years of having 150k+ in loans and really working hard and being frugal to pay it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:90k is a beast for us still. We focused on savings so far this year, with everything going on.

It’s for DH’s career but he became the breadwinner in 2015, so it feels like our debt. Our stuff has always been tied together since marriage in 2008. First kid in 2011.

Graduation 2015. 10 years in, older friends of ours in the same career would say we’re on track to paying off. *They were not done in 10 years.* We feel like it’s 2-3 years way, and gulp, our child will be in 10th or 11th grade. I feel bad for her that we live in an affluent area and are the “poorest.” Actually we have a lot of money, but we can’t spend it all the time. Not responsible. But we give her a lot of perspective that we have it really good; we have everything we need. Financial security.

So when they are in 10th grade and you finish your student loan debt, continue putting all of that into savings for college for your kids. And let them know how much you are willing to help with for college (hint: not best idea to take out parent loans for your kid's undergrad)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some financial guru needs to help address longterm low-ish (4-6%) debt.

Dave Ramsey advice on “gazelle” attitude doesn’t apply. You cannot gazelle for a decade.

A decade or more, and you see that your whole life, kids childhood, passes before your eyes.

You can’t physically pay it off any faster, but you can’t make hardcore sacrifices for that long.

You can gazelle for 2-3 years, and then add a small bit back, but still stay intense. It is possible, and many people do it. You managed for 2-3 years, what is another 2-3 if it brings you out of debt?

[Anonymous]

For those who keep the loans, perhaps to forgiveness point, does it bother you to have a 600-700 monthly minimum?

We periodically run numbers on forgiveness vs. paying off quickly.

It’s like $400 difference either way! It doesn’t matter what we pick. But forgiveness makes us nervous for .. what if it does not exist in 2036-2038 when we qualify?

[Anonymous]

I had kids young (first in grad school) and with surprise infertility in my 30s, I am SO GLAD it happened this way, OP. Please don't regret your life choices: it's more important to have these years with your children than to live a wealthy lifestyle, don't you think?

Lots of people live in debt all their lives. Mortgage, medical, etc. My BIL is a corporate banker who also owns rental properties - he jokes he will die in debt, from all the mortgages. His goal is not to pay them off before he dies.

Be happy for what you have. And maybe consult with a financial advisor. What if you invested some of your money into the stock market, and just paid the minimum for the debt? With the Trump administration's obsession with tariffs, it's a little dicey now, but for 2 decades prior, we built our wealth on Apple, Amazon, Netflix, etc. All the hi tech has done extremely well, and in my humble opinion, will continue to do well, with some short-term fluctuations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*the career we had debt for would dox DH and I. He is also locally a public figure.

Just know it is directly career related. If you see this career, 100% of them have loans (or had extremely rich parents). There is no way to do this career without loans, and it’s not undergrad debt.

Balance now 90k. Hitting a big stride in salaries, finally, but had early years of not getting paid enough.

On dcum, it’s typical for people to go “Wahhhatat?!” when learning we had kids young and during school. Dumb right? Well, give me a time machine I guess? It’s a moot point to the bigger question of still working on this while kids are growing.

I have more I could say about this, but it’s not the point. It makes asking for advice hard when people try to teach me a financial lesson that applies to 13 years ago.

The point is, I’d love to connect with anyone else on here in a similar boat. Anyone? Anyone?
-OP

Well I'd think the financial lesson that applies to right now is, don't let your kids get saddles with undergrad debt (I get that yours was grad school), because that way you at most have graduate school debt only. So whatever you can afford send them there. Most likely a state U or a private that gives merit to bring costs in line with state U. Have your kid work summers/PT/breaks and earn $10-12K/year (not that hard when min wage is $13-17+ in many areas).

Yes we never had undergrad debt. (Ok full disclosure, he accepted 5k his last semester of undergrad but the rate is so low. We can pay it off on the last month of payments).

But we paid for our undergrad with working. He did combo CC+transfer to big in-state university. I went to a private but with a big scholarship.

Our kid —we are talking about high school gpa because our state pays well for college if you get good grades.

We’ve heard about parents’ loans that it stays with the parent too. So, not going to borrow for her. We have savings, family, we would go to, in addition to seeking this in-state scholarship, her working, etc. Plus if i get that raise (my job was not affected by 2008 recession, it’s secure).

[Anonymous]

Op here. Ok thanks so much for comments!
If I keep a link to this thread, it may help if I come back to this forum with questions

A decade I have been on dcum(with a higher SL balance I might add!) and people get really thrown by
-SL
-“did you get a useless loan for a useless career?”
-kids: “you have older kids and you still have loans? Pay those off right away! Gazelle!”
-“you’re a doctor and you can’t pay it off?”(Well, not quite a doctor)

I spend the first 2 pages attempting to ask about mortgage rates or investment, reducing spending. People start asking for my numbers, and then they get into picking at us because of the above.