My kid is a slob. Ideas?

[Anonymous]

I realized my kid had too much stuff.
Help them - take it out of the room so they have less choices / more space.
I realized that last weeks laundry was not put away and mixed with dirty. So would wind up being washed again.
New process - do not get clean laundry until laundry off floor.

[Anonymous]

He clearly needs a system to tell him what to do, that will help him get and keep his room clean. Find him one and make him stick with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to teach him executive functioning skills. For us, we do a 15 minute pickup before bed. My messy kid has to pick up her room, wipe down the bathroom sink if she left it a disaster. It's gotten SO much better over the years because she realizes that she might as well spit nicely in the sink so she doesn't have to clean it later.

We also set her (and siblings) up for success by having a place for absolutely everything, labeling, hooks for towels instead of a bar and routines.

I'm not psycho about it, but I don't agree with "her room, her mess." Instead we talk about chores as part of being part of a family unit, taking care of our belongings and respecting other people's time. I don't want my kids to mooch off their spouses when they grow up, but rather to pull their own weight.

I take a similar approach. I have my (admittedly younger) kids clean up every night before dinner. It’s taken four years for them to stop complaining, so you need to start small and be very stubborn. My mom implemented the same thing from the time we were two, and our rooms were always tidy. Neighbors who saw our rooms were shocked that teens kept their rooms that tidy. One mom didn’t believe it.

My sibling was diagnosed with ADHD, and as an adult she still struggles with organization, but she does know how to clean and remembers how much nicer it was to live in a clean house. This keeps her motivated to keep trying. I’ve known other people who called their homes “lived in” when they were really filthy. You don’t want that. You need to teach your teen what clean looks like and the cadence for maintaining it.

[Anonymous]

Also figure out why something is messy - is everything in drawers so it's hard to find clothes and put things away? I hang every single shirt on hangers - it's much tidier and so much more manageable for a kid. Are the papers always ot because the organizer for it as across the room? move it closer to where the mess happens. Look at Marie Kondo for organizational ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also figure out why something is messy - is everything in drawers so it's hard to find clothes and put things away? I hang every single shirt on hangers - it's much tidier and so much more manageable for a kid. Are the papers always ot because the organizer for it as across the room? move it closer to where the mess happens. Look at Marie Kondo for organizational ideas.

Now that she has children, she loves mess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also figure out why something is messy - is everything in drawers so it's hard to find clothes and put things away? I hang every single shirt on hangers - it's much tidier and so much more manageable for a kid. Are the papers always ot because the organizer for it as across the room? move it closer to where the mess happens. Look at Marie Kondo for organizational ideas.

Really excellent point! Even better, model for your kids how to troubleshoot problem spots.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe in "your room, your mess". A messy room keeps getting messier and kids get overwhelmed with disorder and stuff overflowing. I help my youngest once in a while to get rid of small/stained clothes and do a deep cleaning of their room (all this with him). Then he is responsible for maintaining it: he can't leave the house if clothes are still on the floor. He has to make his bed. I tell him to go back and do it if he forgets. So yes, I somewhat intervene but that is to avoid my kids normalizing disorder.