Looks like he is not doing enough night time feedings and diaper changes. |
He actually does do them. We split shifts. I am a night owl and take the 8-2am shift and he does the 2-8am shift. He works from home and is still doing what he can to help during the day. Makes me lunch, takes the baby when I need to do something, and cooks dinner. We share responsibility pretty well. We are still sleep deprived because our once pretty decent sleeper is now going through a phase of wanting to wake up every couple of hours just because. |
| Get through it. Hire a sitter whenever you can. Let the little things go. The first few months of my first child’s life were the obsolete worst of our 19 year marriage so far. |
Go out when he is asleep. I was like you and am divorced. There is a balance. You don’t want parallel lives with spouse. |
They start getting teeth, etc. sleep is not linear. |
| People don't realize how quality of life suffers when you become a parent - if it was widely known, I think fewer people would do it. |
| Do you have friends or family who can come by for like 3 hrs so you two can just go out and get lunch, coffee, a drink, a walk in a park...something just the two of you to be together and reconnect? |
| I think he needs to be allowed to go out but twice a week max. He also needs to allow you to go out even if it’s only once a week. Even if you just go to Target by yourself. It’s important for you and important for him to to step into Dad role. |
Harsh Truth .. Ugh |
| I know a family like that. Husband is super extrovert. They managed through early years. Now kids are in ES and he goes out multiple times a week, concerts, happy hours etc. But then he also takes kids on weekends and takes them all over for museums and other activities and his wife can stay home and enjoy the quiet on her own. They do plenty together too. |
This too shall pass. Be kind to yourselves, hire help and don’t have a second kid too soon. |
| WE TYPE IN ALL CAPS |
🥴 |
At 11 weeks you are almost through the worst of it. But it’s a massive transition that causes lots of challenges, and some have a harder time than others. Try to go easy on each other, it gets better. |
Time to return to life. Unless you want to be a single mom. |