Quick I need help / how to stop toddler running away

[Anonymous]

She’s not eloping - sorry to be confusing. She’s trying to play chase and hide and seek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got a leash. One of those cute ones with a teddy bear backpack.

Is it secure? Forget about cute!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I actually came to this post to say with the PP said, this is a flag for autism. Just keep this in mind because HFAUD may not look the same as what you think. Your child can be verbal, social and still on the spectrum.

Not everything is a diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is the same and gets a kick out of running from us. We got a leash (I was very much against them until we had a close call) and it helps (she even likes the leash). But it’s not a solution and yelling, running after her doesn’t seem to help. I guess I’m just hoping she grows out of it because ending outings early isn’t always feasible. Also highly doubt she’s autistic - hasn’t displayed anything that’s caught our pedestrian’s eye. Dad has ADHD so we will screen for that when she’s older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I actually came to this post to say with the PP said, this is a flag for autism. Just keep this in mind because HFAUD may not look the same as what you think. Your child can be verbal, social and still on the spectrum.

Not everything is a diagnosis.

Ma'am, this is DCUM.

[Anonymous]

You have to grab her and immediately leave or stop whatever is fun. Even if it means you just hold onto her. If you can’t hold on to her, one parents takes her to sit on the car. It’s going to fudge up your vacation but hopefully the lesson sinks in quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When one of my kids went through this phase, we started bringing the stroller places. Every time he ran, I caught him, picked him up, strapped him in without talking, and we either went home, or I ignored him for a while. For example, if we were at the park and he ran, then he could sit in the stroller and watch his sibling play. When I let him out to try again, I'd say "Don't run away". It fixed it pretty fast.

I think the chase, and the verbal interaction, can become very reinforcing, so I wanted a consequence strong enough to reinforce that.

+1

This is thr right approach. Your kid is not a dog; don't do a leash. Do a stroller and withdrawal of attention to the behavior you disapprove of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get your kid and immediately end the outing every time. When they learn running away = game over they will stop.

I'm the strap the kid in the stroller mom.

My kid didn't do this on outings he was enjoying. He did it because we were bored. The first time I remember was standing in line at the pharmacy to get emergency asthma meds for his brother. Or the grocery store, or the waiting room at the dentist.

Maybe if you have a life in which your kid only goes fun places the "end the outing" strategy makes sense, but most people don't have that.

If you have to bring your three year old on an outing like that, I think it’s good for there to be a reward at the end (like going to a favorite playground on the way home). In your examples, I think you just have to grab them and hold on tight.

Personally I wouldn’t talk about safety in this scenario. The one on one convo they barely understand anyway is all but a reward. Just contain them however you’re going to and grit your teeth and get through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When one of my kids went through this phase, we started bringing the stroller places. Every time he ran, I caught him, picked him up, strapped him in without talking, and we either went home, or I ignored him for a while. For example, if we were at the park and he ran, then he could sit in the stroller and watch his sibling play. When I let him out to try again, I'd say "Don't run away". It fixed it pretty fast.

I think the chase, and the verbal interaction, can become very reinforcing, so I wanted a consequence strong enough to reinforce that.

+1

This is so basic and simple.

Do we really need to crowdsource basic parenting? Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get your kid and immediately end the outing every time. When they learn running away = game over they will stop.

I'm the strap the kid in the stroller mom.

My kid didn't do this on outings he was enjoying. He did it because we were bored. The first time I remember was standing in line at the pharmacy to get emergency asthma meds for his brother. Or the grocery store, or the waiting room at the dentist.

Maybe if you have a life in which your kid only goes fun places the "end the outing" strategy makes sense, but most people don't have that.

If you have to bring your three year old on an outing like that, I think it’s good for there to be a reward at the end (like going to a favorite playground on the way home). In your examples, I think you just have to grab them and hold on tight.

Personally I wouldn’t talk about safety in this scenario. The one on one convo they barely understand anyway is all but a reward. Just contain them however you’re going to and grit your teeth and get through it.

Kids shouldn't be rewarded for expected behaviors. This is the equivalent to everyone gets a trophy. Life is just not like that. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want and that is normal. I am sitting in a terribly boring meeting right now and I don't need a reward at the end of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get your kid and immediately end the outing every time. When they learn running away = game over they will stop.

I'm the strap the kid in the stroller mom.

My kid didn't do this on outings he was enjoying. He did it because we were bored. The first time I remember was standing in line at the pharmacy to get emergency asthma meds for his brother. Or the grocery store, or the waiting room at the dentist.

Maybe if you have a life in which your kid only goes fun places the "end the outing" strategy makes sense, but most people don't have that.

If you have to bring your three year old on an outing like that, I think it’s good for there to be a reward at the end (like going to a favorite playground on the way home). In your examples, I think you just have to grab them and hold on tight.

Personally I wouldn’t talk about safety in this scenario. The one on one convo they barely understand anyway is all but a reward. Just contain them however you’re going to and grit your teeth and get through it.

Kids shouldn't be rewarded for expected behaviors. This is the equivalent to everyone gets a trophy. Life is just not like that. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want and that is normal. I am sitting in a terribly boring meeting right now and I don't need a reward at the end of it.

I agree with you to a degree, but I haven't sat through any boring meetings without a reward. Whether that's a paycheck, or not going to jail (thinking of a recent boring meeting with my accountant to get my taxes right), or something else, I generally don't go to boring meetings unless there is some outcome to the meeting that I anticipate benefiting from.

Having said that, I'm the parent who says strap them in their stroller and don't talk to them. I was not going to go to the playground with my runner and his very sick sibling, as a reward for making it through the pharmacy line.

[Anonymous]

I used a backpack leash thingy. Didn’t need it by age 3 but if you do I have no judgement.
It was nice for DD to be able to walk and not have to hold hands the entire time.
I wanted her getting exercise not sat in the stroller.

[Anonymous]

You hold her around the wrist, not by the hand, and don’t let go. She will hate it but learn choices have consequences

[Anonymous]

Make more time where she can run and you can chase her in safe places. But in a parking lot or crowded place, you hold her arm or otherwise secure her (leash, stroller). Three is old enough to understand that tag and hide and seek are games for the park, not where she could get lost or hit by a car.

[Anonymous]

IMO, avoidance is top priority because this is a serous safety issue. So leash or otherwise hold onto her 100% of the time when the possibility to run exists.