spinoff on bullying

[Anonymous]

For the record - my son was falsely accused too - a new kid, one that had bullying issues at his old school, started making up stories about a bunch of the kids (it was a jealousy thing). Won't go into details. but it was very strange and manipulative behavior that had much more to do with the dynamic between the kid and his mother then my son and his friends. Kid eventually settled down and is actually a nice kid -bizarre, but it happens.

[Anonymous]

11:24: what is your kids age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9:12 here. OP, I'm guessing your child was bullied or you're concerned he/she might be bullied? My child was falsely accused of bullying by a student who had major mental health issues. Really, really major. It was really bizarre because my child liked this child and had no idea what he was telling the school therapist about him! I know another child, hostile and aggressive even to parents, who would complain he was being bullied by one student in particular but it was so hard to "prove" since this student had so many social (not chemical) issues himself, including outbursts of violence at school and at birthday parties. Bullying can mean so many things, sometimes perceived bullying is is actually a personality conflict rather than targeted, systematic taunting or humiliating of one student by another.

You say that your child was falsely accused of bullying. Can you explain the false allegation and why you feel it was false. Can you also tell us exactly what you and your son did to help make the situation better. Was the child being bullied by others. Did your son befriend the bullied individual or do anything to stop the pain?

Was your son part of the same group who were bullying another child. Did your son passively standby and watch another child being bully. Perhaps your son was part of the bullying crowd, but just less visible.

If he wasn't part of the solution, he very well may have been part of the problem.

Stop blaming the victims

[Anonymous]

11:24 This happened several years ago, in fifth grade.

[Anonymous]

22:58 The solution was this troubled boy going on major medication for depression and anxiety. It was a sad, complicated situation, a terrible experience all around. It's strange that you are so doubtful of my story. I'm not blaming the victims. I know bullying exists. I also know that sometimes students concoct stories, for all sorts of reasons. See 21:44's post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:22:58 The solution was this troubled boy going on major medication for depression and anxiety. It was a sad, complicated situation, a terrible experience all around. It's strange that you are so doubtful of my story. I'm not blaming the victims. I know bullying exists. I also know that sometimes students concoct stories, for all sorts of reasons. See 21:44's post.

Thanks for the additional details. Sorry for questioning your original explanation.

[Anonymous]

"The solution was this troubled boy going on major medication for depression and anxiety. It was a sad, complicated situation, a terrible experience all around. It's strange that you are so doubtful of my story. I'm not blaming the victims. I know bullying exists. I also know that sometimes students "concoct stories, for all sorts of reasons. See 21:44's post. "


Thanks for this explanation. You are right, when it is just one student's word against anothers' it is not a good idea to just assume that the person reporting the bullying is telling the truth. That person, for whatever reasons, might just be making up stories.

However, when you have multiple students reporting these incidents, that should be a huge red flag that your kid really is a bully. It is so frustrating when there are multiple kids reporting one single student as the bully, and the parent refuses to take responsiblity for it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks 23:59 and 12:21. What upset me most of all is the school therapist took this boy's word for a long time before she told me.

[Anonymous]

TOTALLY agree with the PP who says it's ineffective to have the bullied and the bully sit down to work out their differences. It shows a fundamental lack of understanding of what bullying is.

There is NO WAY my bullied child was going to be able to sit in a room with his tormentor and "talk things out." He knew this would only result in more torment.