How bad are frats? Do you have to be a drinker?

[Anonymous]

Frats in general are about losing control to the group.
Positively/negatively/neutrally.
I’m trying to make a neutral statement here.

You give up individualistic power, and you cede it to the group.

This can be fun, even as an adult, when you attend a dirty Santa party, do a group Halloween costume where you get assigned a character you don’t love, or get whipped around wakeboarding at the back of your friends boat.

The fun is created when you have these moments. Think of frat parties where another guy or gal chooses your outfit for the night. lol. I just saw spring breakers in a bunch of neon bikini bottoms (guys) on the beach, doing crazy videos.

Fun, but also..

[Anonymous]

I just don’t know why they still exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know why they still exist.

Sorry you didn't get into one.

[Anonymous]

It all depends on where they go. My extroverted student likes having ab automatic group of friends around. My other student has no interest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends, but read this to get an idea of how depraved hazing can be:

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2025/04/06/dartmouth-college-fraternity-culture-student-death/

Wow, that is real crazy. They should ban all frats and sororities. These stories happen too frequently

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know why they still exist.

Sorry you didn't get into one.

Don’t be sorry; my college didn’t have Greek life.

[Anonymous]

OP, just have your son choose a college that has a low percentage of Greek life - 20% or less. He will be well within the majority who aren't interested and he'll have lots of other things to keep him busy.

I will say though - you don't have to go Greek to "party." Most college kids do indeed drink, though how much is an individual thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just have your son choose a college that has a low percentage of Greek life - 20% or less. He will be well within the majority who aren't interested and he'll have lots of other things to keep him busy.

I will say though - you don't have to go Greek to "party." Most college kids do indeed drink, though how much is an individual thing.

+ 1. My son is a student at a large university. Small percentage is Greek. There are many clubs, club sports, intramurals, events, etc where drinking isn’t happening. He can still have a good time out with friends at parties without drinking. From my kids’ perspectives, young adults seem more accepting of others’ choices to not partake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The stereotype of fraternities as nonstop, destructive drinking dens comes from movies like Animal House and Van Wilder, plus the occasional news story that highlights the worst outliers. Those stories aren’t the norm, they're the exception.

Most top-tier fraternities have a mix of non-drinkers, light drinkers, moderate drinkers, and yes, the occasional program drinker, but the same breakdown exists among GDIs. You get to decide which group you're in. And I've never seen a quality fraternity where non-drinkers weren’t represented and respected.

Avoiding Greek life because you’re afraid it revolves around alcohol is misguided. You don’t have to change your drinking habits to join. But certain aspects of your life will definitely change. You’ll go from anonymous nobody to campus god. You'll go from reminiscing about high school to being part of a tight brotherhood that has your back for life. You'll go from relying on Indeed and career services to land an internship or job to having a lucrative network that will help you stack cheddar. You'll go from sitting in your dorm on Saturday nights to having access to the best parties. You'll go from having no dating life (because what sorority dime or high value woman on campus wants to be seen with a GDI?) to having your pick.

The alcohol is optional. The benefits aren’t.

Good grief. What nonsense. Written by a total frat bro.

[Anonymous]

My son will be a freshman next year. Doesn't drink. He will be able to be a non-drinker if joins a fraternity. I'm confident of that. No idea if he plans on joining a fraternity. His school of choice does have fraternities but they aren't very big.

I'd like to think that fraternities are much different today than they were in the very early nineties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends, but read this to get an idea of how depraved hazing can be:

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2025/04/06/dartmouth-college-fraternity-culture-student-death/

Wow, that is real crazy. They should ban all frats and sororities. These stories happen too frequently

I get that most pledges literally survive the ordeal, but it's just so toxic and gross. You see why they're so secretive about everything. I'm sure that there are many fraternities that don't push the limits like the degradation described in the article, but it's probably hard as an outsider to distinguish and avoid the ones that do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends, but read this to get an idea of how depraved hazing can be:

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2025/04/06/dartmouth-college-fraternity-culture-student-death/

+1

See also:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4331028/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6040650/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends, but read this to get an idea of how depraved hazing can be:

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2025/04/06/dartmouth-college-fraternity-culture-student-death/

Wow, that is real crazy. They should ban all frats and sororities. These stories happen too frequently

I get that most pledges literally survive the ordeal, but it's just so toxic and gross. You see why they're so secretive about everything. I'm sure that there are many fraternities that don't push the limits like the degradation described in the article, but it's probably hard as an outsider to distinguish and avoid the ones that do.

Yes, how would you know? Hopefully the kids interested can find out which fraternities aren’t degrading to their pledges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends, but read this to get an idea of how depraved hazing can be:

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2025/04/06/dartmouth-college-fraternity-culture-student-death/

Wow, that is real crazy. They should ban all frats and sororities. These stories happen too frequently

I get that most pledges literally survive the ordeal, but it's just so toxic and gross. You see why they're so secretive about everything. I'm sure that there are many fraternities that don't push the limits like the degradation described in the article, but it's probably hard as an outsider to distinguish and avoid the ones that do.

Yes, how would you know? Hopefully the kids interested can find out which fraternities aren’t degrading to their pledges.

Join a “low-ranked” fraternity for less hazing, ie hazing that means picking up lunch for someone or having to clean up after a party. I have two kids in LR fraternities. One rarely drinks. One who does like beer said that fraternities won’t tell you don’t have to drink if asked, but both have said they haven’t drank at certain pledge events and it was no biggie. You just have to believe that it won’t affect your bid. It helps that they’re both inclined, or have the confidence, to not go along with groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t know why they still exist.

Because they are fun.