What do you ask and consider before agreeing to your first group trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t do this. I prefer traveling with DH so much more than a handful of woman. To much compromising/discussing etc. Also I am not wasting energy on all of the things mentioned. I am adult not sharing a room with another adult. And definitely traveling with people where, compromising on accommodations/dining, accounting, playing banker or splitting costs “fairly” is required .

Last line should say “definitely NOT traveling…”

[Anonymous]

If I share a room, I have a good idea of how to have alone time. Stagger our time in the room, give each other space. Even if in the room together, be unavailable and have no social expectations, for some of the time. That's where earbuds come in. It's just an understanding and acceptance that being in the same room can be acceptable/pleasant without interacting the whole time. Think college. Think a random roommate. This approach even if it's a good-good friend. Because it's a lengthy time together.

[Anonymous]

I share a room only if it means we are able to stay where we really want to stay and couldn't afford it otherwise. I'm not picky about accommodations and can be happy with basic but some destination are just too expensive, for me, to go solo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t do this. I prefer traveling with DH so much more than a handful of woman. To much compromising/discussing etc. Also I am not wasting energy on all of the things mentioned. I am adult not sharing a room with another adult. And definitely traveling with people where, compromising on accommodations/dining, accounting, playing banker or splitting costs “fairly” is required .

Last line should say “definitely NOT traveling…”

To me, it's funny to think that splitting a bill is something you would consider to be a big deal. I get together with friends on trips of around 3-5 people every year or two. We just rotate who pays for meals, or.maybe one person will take a pic of the receipts and spend 5 minutes at the end doing a tally. It's not a big deal because nobody cares about a few dollars either way, we aren't going line by line, and everyone trusts one another. I never even considered it to be a hassle or an imposition or anything. There has never been any arguing or needing to follow up or anything. If someone ends up owing at the end, they send it via Venmo 5 minutes later, never think about it again

[Anonymous]

Definitely work out the cost. Our best trips are same hotel, we each book our own room and pay for separately. At meals, we split bill evenly. No haggling over who owes what.

We've also been invited to stay in friend's vacation home. 4 total couples, including the hosts. They assigned the rooms. 2 of us (couples) brought plenty of wine, then went to the store with the owners (they wanted to do it this way) and we paid for the groceries. When we went out, we and the other couple split the bills. The 4th invited couple were very obviously out of their league and thought they were getting a free vacation. (Which they did.) And slightly younger than the rest of us and only the host couple knew. Once we realized this, we and the other couple accepted we'd be paying for the weekend. Worth every penny to stay in a beautiful house with good friends. Great memories. But it could have been frustrating had we not been okay with paying.

All to say that it's easy to have expectations when you are staying in hotels. Not as easy when you are staying in someone's home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely work out the cost. Our best trips are same hotel, we each book our own room and pay for separately. At meals, we split bill evenly. No haggling over who owes what.

We've also been invited to stay in friend's vacation home. 4 total couples, including the hosts. They assigned the rooms. 2 of us (couples) brought plenty of wine, then went to the store with the owners (they wanted to do it this way) and we paid for the groceries. When we went out, we and the other couple split the bills. The 4th invited couple were very obviously out of their league and thought they were getting a free vacation. (Which they did.) And slightly younger than the rest of us and only the host couple knew. Once we realized this, we and the other couple accepted we'd be paying for the weekend. Worth every penny to stay in a beautiful house with good friends. Great memories. But it could have been frustrating had we not been okay with paying.

All to say that it's easy to have expectations when you are staying in hotels. Not as easy when you are staying in someone's home.

^^^
I should add here that there are all sorts of expenses for the hosts in their vacation home, none of which we had to pay. Meaning, that if you stay in someone's vacation home, you should expect to repay with food and going out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yuck. I would not do this for more than a long weekend, and a place I can drive to and back. I only travel with immediate and close family who I know I enjoy traveling with.

This is so sad.

[Anonymous]

State that it is fine (and expected ) that people will house part ways for certain activities (like one may want to nap while others hike). No one should have hurt feelings if they need a break from the group or just have different tastes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Echo above. Cost/payments splitting are important, especially if you’re looking to share a house or room. Also itinerary— what do they want to do? What do you want to do?

Do not go on a trip with people that you feel you cannot be upfront with. What I mean by this is, if you need your own room (and I do, now that I’m older!), don’t let yourself get talked into a sharing half of a bed with someone. Or if you need to keep to a certain budget, you need to communicate that— and have it respected.

I travel a lot with friends and the only bad trips I’ve had are when I felt too insecure to say something or if I felt that someone was domineering the trip. I had one trip where one person was very clearly trying to get out of paying for things and we all ended up working around them/paying for them, as they were kind of a difficult person— but they were also difficult here in the U.S. That was an aggravating situation.

Maybe that’s my other piece of advice— make sure you really like the people you’re traveling with, or have the ability to break off and do your own thing if not!

+1 I did a lot of group trips when I was younger, but I don't think I could share hotel rooms at 40+. If you're going this route, then make sure that everyone is on the same page per the post above.

[Anonymous]

Pay for joint lodging upfront and get reimbursed BEFORE the trip. Better yet, pay only for your hotel room and share the details so they can book their own. You do not want to be chasing down grown women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yuck. I would not do this for more than a long weekend, and a place I can drive to and back. I only travel with immediate and close family who I know I enjoy traveling with.

Same. This does not sound fun.

[Anonymous]

Did this once and hated it. I hate being on someone else’s schedule and budget. It felt like a waste of time and money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t do this. I prefer traveling with DH so much more than a handful of woman. To much compromising/discussing etc. Also I am not wasting energy on all of the things mentioned. I am adult not sharing a room with another adult. And definitely traveling with people where, compromising on accommodations/dining, accounting, playing banker or splitting costs “fairly” is required .

+100

[Anonymous]

I've done trips with friends post-college and college friends. College friends are so much easier to travel with. It's a group of 4 and we've been roommates with each other in varying configurations. So we know each other's quirks in a way I think you just can't replicate. Post-college friends are much more polite but less familiar. I will easily share a bed with college friends, but not post-college.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you iterate no Plus 1s.

Some work friends and I planned a fun girls trip, and at the last minute one lady insisted on bringing her TWO school age children. Said she couldn’t bear to be away from them, but never bothered to mention this during the trip planning. That led to another friend deciding she’d bring 1 of hers as well. It changed the vibe of the whole trip, and we all ended up falling out with the 2-kid lady.

Do not bring your husband, your kids, your siblings, your parent or any extra friends.