Girl moms - how much weight gain during puberty?

[Anonymous]

Many kids go through awkward body phases during the puberty years - sometimes chubby, sometimes painfully skinny. Along with other issues.

I think the best thing to do is focus on health, regardless of whatever their body is doing- sensible food most of the time, sensible amount of exercise.

I would not be worried at that height and weight. I think I was effectively “heavier” at age 12-13 than I was at 31 with a toddler (probably 5lbs heavier and 2in shorter at 12-13). 5’4”” 130-135 to 5’5” 125ish. But my parents focused on health, regular activity, decent dietary habits and those stuck.

Obesity would be a different story but this is not even close to that.

My own kids were of the painfully skinny variety around puberty (take after DH’s side) but I don’t stuff them with milkshakes- just continued normal healthy diet for the most part. They are slowly filling out in their mid-late teens.

[Anonymous]

Some girls put on weight before a growth spurt. Some grow tall before filling out and look like twigs for a time. Some grow evenly. I’ve seen it all.

The best thing at that age is just to make sure they stay active and develop moderately healthy eating habits. Because while their bodies are changing, the social lives are also changing. This is precisely when girls stop having recess at school, feel too old for playground games, and many drop out of sports that they “aren’t good at.” They alsp have more freedom with food so maybe buying candy at cvs or getting fries with friends and throwing your healthy packed lunch in tje trash. In my experience, if you can make sure a girl stays active at this point and help her develop decent eating habits (like getting her involved in cooking and meal planning), it usually works out. Some girls at that age give up soccer but might take up running, or golf, or something that has less team politics — others might find a new sport or find that they are old enough to start taking the dog on long walks. Whatever works for your daughter so long as it is something. Just be kind because this is an age where they are literally reinventing themselves, sometimes in an iterative way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:a 5'3, 130 pound 12 year old girl is not "prepubescent". She will get her period any day now. She is likely done growing.

Do you have a crystal ball? Mine didn’t get her period until almost 14. She had passed 5’3”, 130 two years earlier. At 13 she was about 5’5” 135. A year after her period began she’s grown another 3”. She can pass for 25 years old, unlike my tiny other daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many kids go through awkward body phases during the puberty years - sometimes chubby, sometimes painfully skinny. Along with other issues.

I think the best thing to do is focus on health, regardless of whatever their body is doing- sensible food most of the time, sensible amount of exercise.

I would not be worried at that height and weight. I think I was effectively “heavier” at age 12-13 than I was at 31 with a toddler (probably 5lbs heavier and 2in shorter at 12-13). 5’4”” 130-135 to 5’5” 125ish. But my parents focused on health, regular activity, decent dietary habits and those stuck.

Obesity would be a different story but this is not even close to that.

My own kids were of the painfully skinny variety around puberty (take after DH’s side) but I don’t stuff them with milkshakes- just continued normal healthy diet for the most part. They are slowly filling out in their mid-late teens.

+1

I have 3 kids with 3 different growth patterns. My oldest was an 85% baby who always got fuller before getting taller. At 13, he definitely looked chubby. He’s 20 now and a healthy weight.

My middle one was a 50% baby and has had the most steady growth, always a lengthening and weight gain in tandem.

My youngest was a 25% baby who eventually fell off the weight chart trajectory and was underweight for years, requiring check ups every 6 months, and at 14 he just gained 10lbs and 2 inches in 3 months.

My point is that even within families normal growth can look very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD just had her 12yo check up and I was shocked to see that she gained 20 lbs in one year (current weight is 130). She has always been in the 95th-100% for weight but is now off the charts. She is also 5’3” for height reference and grew 3 inches in the past year.

The doctor didn’t seem overly concerned and talked to her about the importance of being active and eating healthy, but that was pretty much it.

She is definitely chubby but does not look overly heavy (doesn’t have a big belly, just a thicker body type which matches my MILs shape).

Has anyone else experienced this kind of weight gain? The doctor said she could have a growth spurt soon and her height may catch up. She has not gotten her period yet but the doctor thinks it’s coming soon. I am very worried for her overall health and am surprised the doctor didn’t seem phased.

Is she active? My 12 yo does swim team and cross country and soccer. She's not close to overweight, but if she was, I wouldn't worry because she's so so active. What does her diet look like? My kid has a sweet tooth but eats lots of healthy food and very little fast food or junk food. I call that good enough. If she's eating lots of junk food, I'd try to replace it with healthier options.

I wouldn't be worried based on BMI alone, but the whole picture.

[Anonymous]

Everyone, including doctors, are hesitant to bring up weight for fear of an eating disorder. The doctor did mention being active and healthy habits. Look closely at the food in your home , serving sizes and her activity level.

[Anonymous]

My mother tried these gems out on me when I was 5'4 and 125 pounds: "I weighed 98 at your age but then got down to 87 on a tea and toast diet" and "I weighed 127 when I was 9 months pregnant with your brother." (She is also 5'4 and has had disordered eating since that tea and toast diet when she was 13). It worked! I lost 40 pounds in college. She seemed unconcerned about that.

[Anonymous]

Leave her alone and don’t obsess over this. Focus on overall healthy eating, as you should be doing anyway.

DD and I are both 5’3. She’s super athletic and likely weighs around 130. She never went through a period of a weight gain. I’m well over 130 and wish I weighed near that now.

My son periods of rapid weight gain over the years of puberty where he gained more than 20 in a year. He put on many inches and pounds, it seemed to be in quick spurts overnight.

[Anonymous]

My 12yo DD is also 130 and she’s only 5”1.
She’s extremely athletic and is solidly built.
The doc has no concerns.
OP as long as your kid is eating healthy “ most” of the time, and dies something for exercise, don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Mine gained a lot.
I think a big issue is they eat so much when they are growing because they need the calories and are starving. Then they finish growing but don't change their eating habits and consume too many calories. At least that’s what I have seen with my daughter…

[Anonymous]

Is she active? If not, focus on that.

And you need to accept that she may have your MIL’s body type. Everyone cannot be wispy thin.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. If you kid is active, eats a variety of healthy foods and you have modeled healthy eating and body image, she's FINE.

Listen. I am 5'5. My DH is 6'4. Our three daughters all had a period where they were 5'1 and 145 pounds around 11-12. They ALL followed this pattern afterward.

13, GREW 5 inches and lost 15 pounds. So, they were around, 5'6-5-7 and 130.

14-15, GREW another 2-3 inches and ended gained almost zero weight (or lost a bit), landing around 5'9-5'10 and 125-130 pounds.

So, the big thing I want to reiterate is bodies for middle schoolers and freshmen are really, really in flux. They need to exercise for their physical and mental health and they need healthy, real food. My kids all learned so much about cooking (due to covid), so that had a part of it, I'm sure.

I will say, for a lot of 8th and 9th graders, a lot of kids didn't even recognize each other when they returned to school after the covid online learning.

Yes, many girls develop and are set by 12. But there are late bloomers and people who just gain weight to prepare their bodies for growth.

[Anonymous]

She doesn’t even have her period yet. Girls average two more inches in height AFTER they get their period. I wouldn’t do a thing other than make sure there is healthy food around the house and an occasional reminder to have some fruit, veg and protein.

At our house, I might say “why don’t you eat an apple with some peanut butter before the cake. That will help fill you up more if you are actually still hungry” or something like that. And she does both and there is no judgment. Or she might say “nope, I just want the cake” and there is still no judgment. And I occasionally check in on how much fruit/veg she had that day as she is thinking about dinner so she keeps that in mind. Yesterday, I happened to ask if she had eaten the cucumbers and raspberries that were in her lunch (which also included cheezeits and cookies). She remember that she had only eaten two raspberries and then the container fell on the floor. So I just suggested she eat a fruit along with dinner.

[Anonymous]

"a thicker body that matches my MIL's shape" - whose worry is this, exactly? Not all bodies are the same. Bigger bodies can be healthy and strong. Please don't say anything to your daughter.

[Anonymous]

My 14 yo is the same height (maybe a hair under 5’4) and only 10lb less and wears a sz 0/2. Shes also 50th percentile in both height and weight so weighs exactly as the average girl of her height. I think you just use the eyeball test and keep an eye on if she keeps gaining weight. 20lb gain and looking chunky is pretty normal around that age. She will either keep going or have her growth spurt really soon. Summer is when most kids spurt as the days get longer and period is probably coming. Even my tiny 105 lb 17 year old looked a little chunky when she got her first period.