What are men willing to do in a marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Golden rule. I will also give regular sex, oral and otherwise, keep in shape, and will not nag, cheat, or be mean.

What do you mean by “be mean?” Like, you won’t physically hit me, or you won’t clean out your car by putting all of the stuff from the car in the kitchen I just cleaned?

Physically abusive and vindictive

Okay. That’s a pretty low bar then man.

[Anonymous]

He's willing to do what's necessary to keep our marriage relatively happy. Why did he marry me? I guess because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and I wanted to get married one day. Kids were an after thought, on both our parts.

The better question is: why do men have children if most don't seem to want to give up their selfish lifestyles and really take care of their children?

[Anonymous]

Mine out-earns me by 3x and gets a bigger bonus. He's also a self-starter around the house, cleaning and doing other house projects. I carry the mental load with the kids, and I am the default parent, which is sometimes a source of stress because I still have a big job making mid-six figures, and I don't like feeling like my work is always secondary to family and his work. But I think I'm better off than most (of the complainers) on this board.

[Anonymous]

What are you willing to do for him?

[Anonymous]

Everything?

[Anonymous]

They usually put in $ to start which means they are putting in some, most or all of housing and often equity, cars, vacations, clothes, household necessities, extracurriculars and hobbies, savings, college funds, retirement funds.

Sex requires two people so they are also putting in sex, they might also be putting time into fitness and attractiveness.

Personality wise it is all over the place just like women, they might be kind of mean, selfish or giving, respectful or not, supportive or not etc.

They might be putting in time with the kids, pick ups and drop offs and sports and what not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They usually put in $ to start which means they are putting in some, most or all of housing and often equity, cars, vacations, clothes, household necessities, extracurriculars and hobbies, savings, college funds, retirement funds.

Sex requires two people so they are also putting in sex, they might also be putting time into fitness and attractiveness.

Personality wise it is all over the place just like women, they might be kind of mean, selfish or giving, respectful or not, supportive or not etc.

They might be putting in time with the kids, pick ups and drop offs and sports and what not.

They would be doing all of this stuff even if they weren’t married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Random side projects at busy times: spend spend 3 hours reprogramming the biometric lock; take the daughters to Starbies; heat the pool and bathe there in winter; do 6 mos of work expenses Sunday afternoon; make ready made cement and F up the walk way more over four hours; look up vendors to paint the outside of the brick house all white every two years.

Yeah the sudden side quests during busy times strategy for avoiding hardship. We had to move for his job and when we downsized his office had to go (never WFH can't). Having no office has helped immensely in forcing participation in family life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They usually put in $ to start which means they are putting in some, most or all of housing and often equity, cars, vacations, clothes, household necessities, extracurriculars and hobbies, savings, college funds, retirement funds.

Sex requires two people so they are also putting in sex, they might also be putting time into fitness and attractiveness.

Personality wise it is all over the place just like women, they might be kind of mean, selfish or giving, respectful or not, supportive or not etc.

They might be putting in time with the kids, pick ups and drop offs and sports and what not.

They would be doing all of this stuff even if they weren’t married.

Not for other people...when married they are often the ones doing this for the wife and the kids. Sometimes it is shared but there are many marriages where the wife doesn't take on any financial responsibility for herself or the kids and looks to the man to take on everything related to that responsibility for everyone in the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If men get everything they want in a marriage which before was listed as regular sex and blow jobs, attractive partner with nice figure, a partner that doesn't nag, cheat, and isn't mean, then what are they willing to put into the marriage?

You are making it transactional. Men also need love, care and compatibility, not just a good body for unrestricted sex and no nagging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They usually put in $ to start which means they are putting in some, most or all of housing and often equity, cars, vacations, clothes, household necessities, extracurriculars and hobbies, savings, college funds, retirement funds.

Sex requires two people so they are also putting in sex, they might also be putting time into fitness and attractiveness.

Personality wise it is all over the place just like women, they might be kind of mean, selfish or giving, respectful or not, supportive or not etc.

They might be putting in time with the kids, pick ups and drop offs and sports and what not.

They would be doing all of this stuff even if they weren’t married.

Not for other people...when married they are often the ones doing this for the wife and the kids. Sometimes it is shared but there are many marriages where the wife doesn't take on any financial responsibility for herself or the kids and looks to the man to take on everything related to that responsibility for everyone in the family.

If your wife died, you would still be paying your mortgage and retirement funds and picking up your kids from soccer.
Is there anything that men would do specifically for their wives if she did everything you asked of her in bed?

[Anonymous]

See a couple kids games a month. Do some driving.

[Anonymous]

Eat delicious meals prepared by someone else

[Anonymous]

Enjoy a nice, decorated home, a beer, peruse the web when bored. So nice.

[Anonymous]

Give a little tickle and automatically get some.