I was an idiot to get a puppy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your puppy? Can you afford something like this? https://pawmora.com/puppy-academy

At least you’d get a break during the day.

We have a trainer, and she will be going to daycare once I start back at work...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand. I definitely had PPD for a few months with my puppy.

It's also a huge problem that your spouse is not splitting the work with you. That will remain the case for as long as you have the dog. You are unhappy, the dog is unhappy. Return the dog. Tell your husband that he needs to be a better teammate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. You're not reading her cues when she's in the house. You need eyes on her at all times. Yell at her (not hit) when you catch her in the act of peeing or pooping inside. And then take her out by the scruff of the neck and go outside, even though you know she might have finished, just to impress your displeasure upon her and get her to understand that she needs to pee and poo outside. When she does her business outside, you need to give her a high-value treat immediately, and pet and coo at her.

2. Your carpet might have too much scent on it by now and she thinks that's where she's supposed to go. If you can roll away your carpets to have them cleaned, that would be ideal. If not, all the spots she's dumped and peed on need serious soaking in one of those dog enzyme cleaners. Don't even mop it up. Let it soak for days.

3. Finally, crate. It's normal for her to whine and scream. NEVER TAKE OUT A WHINY DOG OUT OF THEIR CRATE. They're training you, not the other way around. The longer you've been obeying their "let me out!" screams, the longer it takes to train them out of it. Put on noise-canceling headphones, and earplugs at night. Put on music while in the shower. Do not cave.
You let her out when she's exhausted herself and isn't making any noise in her crate.

4. She sounds extremely anxious. You can ask your vet for anxiety meds, and you can buy a bark collar for when you leave her alone in the house. Make sure she has a high-value treat when you leave (but I know that alone doesn't cut it for anxious dogs). Even if the neighbors aren't bothered by her barking while you're out, she's hurting herself. Dogs bark naturally at various things, including wildlife and mailmen, but the boredom or separation anxiety bark is mentally unhealthy for them. My dog only barked twice with his bark collar and learned the zap wasn't what he wanted. Don't let yourself be lulled by positive-only trainers, OP. Certain dogs need aversive tools, used wisely and sparingly. I tested the zap on myself first. Always do that.

Thank you for the advice. I did entirely remove the carpet, I will treat it and sent it to a laundromat but it won't be put back until when/if she is house trained. She does settle eventually in the crate and I never let her out while whining.

For the house training - I am struggling to have eyes on her all the time. I need to shower / leave the room sometimes.

She needs to be in a pen or crate during those times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. You're not reading her cues when she's in the house. You need eyes on her at all times. Yell at her (not hit) when you catch her in the act of peeing or pooping inside. And then take her out by the scruff of the neck and go outside, even though you know she might have finished, just to impress your displeasure upon her and get her to understand that she needs to pee and poo outside. When she does her business outside, you need to give her a high-value treat immediately, and pet and coo at her.

2. Your carpet might have too much scent on it by now and she thinks that's where she's supposed to go. If you can roll away your carpets to have them cleaned, that would be ideal. If not, all the spots she's dumped and peed on need serious soaking in one of those dog enzyme cleaners. Don't even mop it up. Let it soak for days.

3. Finally, crate. It's normal for her to whine and scream. NEVER TAKE OUT A WHINY DOG OUT OF THEIR CRATE. They're training you, not the other way around. The longer you've been obeying their "let me out!" screams, the longer it takes to train them out of it. Put on noise-canceling headphones, and earplugs at night. Put on music while in the shower. Do not cave.
You let her out when she's exhausted herself and isn't making any noise in her crate.

4. She sounds extremely anxious. You can ask your vet for anxiety meds, and you can buy a bark collar for when you leave her alone in the house. Make sure she has a high-value treat when you leave (but I know that alone doesn't cut it for anxious dogs). Even if the neighbors aren't bothered by her barking while you're out, she's hurting herself. Dogs bark naturally at various things, including wildlife and mailmen, but the boredom or separation anxiety bark is mentally unhealthy for them. My dog only barked twice with his bark collar and learned the zap wasn't what he wanted. Don't let yourself be lulled by positive-only trainers, OP. Certain dogs need aversive tools, used wisely and sparingly. I tested the zap on myself first. Always do that.

Thank you for the advice. I did entirely remove the carpet, I will treat it and sent it to a laundromat but it won't be put back until when/if she is house trained. She does settle eventually in the crate and I never let her out while whining.

For the house training - I am struggling to have eyes on her all the time. I need to shower / leave the room sometimes.

She needs to be in a pen or crate during those times.

This. What the hell kind of "crate training" are you doing, OP?!

The dog is in the crate unless you're actively engaging it. Period. Assuming it's a small enough puppy, take it from the crate, CARRY it out of the house, and deposit it outside where you want it to do its business. If it goes, treat. If not, give it water (outside, ideally), then CARRY it back inside to its crate, which should be just big enough for it to stand and turn around. Do not give it extra space, do not let it walk on the floor unless you're sure it's empty.

If the dog does biz outside, you can play for 10-20 minutes in an enclosed, puppy-proofed space, letting the puppy drag its leash so you always have control. Err on the side of caution with the time limit. After the timer goes off, take the dog outside (again, carry it, if it's small/accident prone) and give it the pee command again. If it goes, treat. If not, water and crate.

This is intense for about a week, and then it's done. Never take the puppy out when it's whining. If it's little, you'll need to wake in the night to be sure it gets out frequently enough (but it will also be easier to train than an older puppy/dog).

basic puppy boot camp lasts about 2 weeks, tops. You'll still need to be vigilant after that, and some breeds are harder to housebreak than others, but those first two weeks get the job done for 95% of all dogs.

If you can't handle that, aren't willing to be that intense, feel like giving up, I agree with the pp who said "give the puppy back" and let someone else have a go. The longer it stays in a stressed out household, getting scolded for doing the wrong thing without being adequately taught what's right, the harder it will be to rehome successfully later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I can take this anymore. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Before anyone asks, I took two weeks off of work to be at home full time with the dog, we're working with a trainer, and doing crate training exercises, but I can't do it. The dog refuses to house train (I take her out 500x a day, she immediately comes in and takes a dump on the carpet), she will stay in her crate for MAYBE 90 minutes max with the first 30 spent whining, and you can forget leaving the house, she'll bark and howl the entire time.

Tonight I broke down in tears because I am sleep deprived, can't take a damn shower without having to listen to high pitched whining and howling, and I am going to lose my sh!t if I have to clean piss and crap out of my carpet one more f**cking time. I feel like a POS but I don't understand how anyone does this working a full time job outside the home. I am just done.

Whoever your trainer is, you should get your money back.

How old is the puppy?

[Anonymous]

Return it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will absolutely get flamed here but return the puppy to the shelter sooner rather than later so it can find a new family. And don’t adopt another pet.

I usually try to help people, but OP is exhausted, and seems to be out of her depth. Also, the drama...

I agree: rehoming the puppy is the best course here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand. I definitely had PPD for a few months with my puppy.

+1 the puppy blues are real

The "puppy blues/newborn blues" are real, but this is ridiculous. OP alleges there's a trainer involved, and that person should be outed and shamed.

There's obvious structural/procedural problems here anyone at all familiar with basic puppy 101 would know. While they're solvable problems, at this point, it's kinda like telling an exhausted marathon runner that, if only they'd adjust their pacing, they can finish. Not when you dumped it all in the first 10 doing sprints for no reason...

OP needs an older dog, or no dog for a while. I feel sad for all involved, but mostly the puppy, who doesn't have a chance to not be a problem dog because its owner and trainer (jfc, I can't call this idiot a trainer...) are problems to begin with.

[Anonymous]

This puppy is not a good fit for your family. Definitely give it back. And do not ever get a puppy again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. You're not reading her cues when she's in the house. You need eyes on her at all times. Yell at her (not hit) when you catch her in the act of peeing or pooping inside. And then take her out by the scruff of the neck and go outside, even though you know she might have finished, just to impress your displeasure upon her and get her to understand that she needs to pee and poo outside. When she does her business outside, you need to give her a high-value treat immediately, and pet and coo at her.

2. Your carpet might have too much scent on it by now and she thinks that's where she's supposed to go. If you can roll away your carpets to have them cleaned, that would be ideal. If not, all the spots she's dumped and peed on need serious soaking in one of those dog enzyme cleaners. Don't even mop it up. Let it soak for days.

3. Finally, crate. It's normal for her to whine and scream. NEVER TAKE OUT A WHINY DOG OUT OF THEIR CRATE. They're training you, not the other way around. The longer you've been obeying their "let me out!" screams, the longer it takes to train them out of it. Put on noise-canceling headphones, and earplugs at night. Put on music while in the shower. Do not cave.
You let her out when she's exhausted herself and isn't making any noise in her crate.

4. She sounds extremely anxious. You can ask your vet for anxiety meds, and you can buy a bark collar for when you leave her alone in the house. Make sure she has a high-value treat when you leave (but I know that alone doesn't cut it for anxious dogs). Even if the neighbors aren't bothered by her barking while you're out, she's hurting herself. Dogs bark naturally at various things, including wildlife and mailmen, but the boredom or separation anxiety bark is mentally unhealthy for them. My dog only barked twice with his bark collar and learned the zap wasn't what he wanted. Don't let yourself be lulled by positive-only trainers, OP. Certain dogs need aversive tools, used wisely and sparingly. I tested the zap on myself first. Always do that.

Thank you for the advice. I did entirely remove the carpet, I will treat it and sent it to a laundromat but it won't be put back until when/if she is house trained. She does settle eventually in the crate and I never let her out while whining.

For the house training - I am struggling to have eyes on her all the time. I need to shower / leave the room sometimes.

She needs to be in a pen or crate during those times.

This. What the hell kind of "crate training" are you doing, OP?!

The dog is in the crate unless you're actively engaging it. Period. Assuming it's a small enough puppy, take it from the crate, CARRY it out of the house, and deposit it outside where you want it to do its business. If it goes, treat. If not, give it water (outside, ideally), then CARRY it back inside to its crate, which should be just big enough for it to stand and turn around. Do not give it extra space, do not let it walk on the floor unless you're sure it's empty.

If the dog does biz outside, you can play for 10-20 minutes in an enclosed, puppy-proofed space, letting the puppy drag its leash so you always have control. Err on the side of caution with the time limit. After the timer goes off, take the dog outside (again, carry it, if it's small/accident prone) and give it the pee command again. If it goes, treat. If not, water and crate.

This is intense for about a week, and then it's done. Never take the puppy out when it's whining. If it's little, you'll need to wake in the night to be sure it gets out frequently enough (but it will also be easier to train than an older puppy/dog).

basic puppy boot camp lasts about 2 weeks, tops. You'll still need to be vigilant after that, and some breeds are harder to housebreak than others, but those first two weeks get the job done for 95% of all dogs.

If you can't handle that, aren't willing to be that intense, feel like giving up, I agree with the pp who said "give the puppy back" and let someone else have a go. The longer it stays in a stressed out household, getting scolded for doing the wrong thing without being adequately taught what's right, the harder it will be to rehome successfully later.

I wish I had known this previously. Unfortunately; I am now going back to work and won’t be home to do this ‘boot camp’ style of training.

As a side note: I live in a townhome. It’s not feasible to have a dog barking in a crate all day; which is what I’d be dealing with if I did this. Regardless, I’m going to contact the rescue. I’m a bad pet parent and not suited for a pet.

[Anonymous]

Side note, I’ve looked into a boot camp I can send the dog to to take care of this, but I’m not sure how a boot camp out of the home would help with house training?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will absolutely get flamed here but return the puppy to the shelter sooner rather than later so it can find a new family. And don’t adopt another pet.

I usually try to help people, but OP is exhausted, and seems to be out of her depth. Also, the drama...

I agree: rehoming the puppy is the best course here.

What’s with the obnoxious emojis? You seem like as @$$hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will absolutely get flamed here but return the puppy to the shelter sooner rather than later so it can find a new family. And don’t adopt another pet.

I usually try to help people, but OP is exhausted, and seems to be out of her depth. Also, the drama...

I agree: rehoming the puppy is the best course here.

What’s with the obnoxious emojis? You seem like as @$$hole.

You must be new here...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Side note, I’ve looked into a boot camp I can send the dog to to take care of this, but I’m not sure how a boot camp out of the home would help with house training?

Dogs generalize. If they learn to go on grass, they will seek out grass and only go on grass. My first dog only went on leaves if she could help it, because I house trained her in the fall...

If the trainer gets her going outside, she will be 90% of the way when she gets back to you. You will just need to show her the same rules apply at your house, but it should take a few days instead of a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. You're not reading her cues when she's in the house. You need eyes on her at all times. Yell at her (not hit) when you catch her in the act of peeing or pooping inside. And then take her out by the scruff of the neck and go outside, even though you know she might have finished, just to impress your displeasure upon her and get her to understand that she needs to pee and poo outside. When she does her business outside, you need to give her a high-value treat immediately, and pet and coo at her.

2. Your carpet might have too much scent on it by now and she thinks that's where she's supposed to go. If you can roll away your carpets to have them cleaned, that would be ideal. If not, all the spots she's dumped and peed on need serious soaking in one of those dog enzyme cleaners. Don't even mop it up. Let it soak for days.

3. Finally, crate. It's normal for her to whine and scream. NEVER TAKE OUT A WHINY DOG OUT OF THEIR CRATE. They're training you, not the other way around. The longer you've been obeying their "let me out!" screams, the longer it takes to train them out of it. Put on noise-canceling headphones, and earplugs at night. Put on music while in the shower. Do not cave.
You let her out when she's exhausted herself and isn't making any noise in her crate.

4. She sounds extremely anxious. You can ask your vet for anxiety meds, and you can buy a bark collar for when you leave her alone in the house. Make sure she has a high-value treat when you leave (but I know that alone doesn't cut it for anxious dogs). Even if the neighbors aren't bothered by her barking while you're out, she's hurting herself. Dogs bark naturally at various things, including wildlife and mailmen, but the boredom or separation anxiety bark is mentally unhealthy for them. My dog only barked twice with his bark collar and learned the zap wasn't what he wanted. Don't let yourself be lulled by positive-only trainers, OP. Certain dogs need aversive tools, used wisely and sparingly. I tested the zap on myself first. Always do that.

Thank you for the advice. I did entirely remove the carpet, I will treat it and sent it to a laundromat but it won't be put back until when/if she is house trained. She does settle eventually in the crate and I never let her out while whining.

For the house training - I am struggling to have eyes on her all the time. I need to shower / leave the room sometimes.

She needs to be in a pen or crate during those times.

This. What the hell kind of "crate training" are you doing, OP?!

The dog is in the crate unless you're actively engaging it. Period. Assuming it's a small enough puppy, take it from the crate, CARRY it out of the house, and deposit it outside where you want it to do its business. If it goes, treat. If not, give it water (outside, ideally), then CARRY it back inside to its crate, which should be just big enough for it to stand and turn around. Do not give it extra space, do not let it walk on the floor unless you're sure it's empty.

If the dog does biz outside, you can play for 10-20 minutes in an enclosed, puppy-proofed space, letting the puppy drag its leash so you always have control. Err on the side of caution with the time limit. After the timer goes off, take the dog outside (again, carry it, if it's small/accident prone) and give it the pee command again. If it goes, treat. If not, water and crate.

This is intense for about a week, and then it's done. Never take the puppy out when it's whining. If it's little, you'll need to wake in the night to be sure it gets out frequently enough (but it will also be easier to train than an older puppy/dog).

basic puppy boot camp lasts about 2 weeks, tops. You'll still need to be vigilant after that, and some breeds are harder to housebreak than others, but those first two weeks get the job done for 95% of all dogs.

If you can't handle that, aren't willing to be that intense, feel like giving up, I agree with the pp who said "give the puppy back" and let someone else have a go. The longer it stays in a stressed out household, getting scolded for doing the wrong thing without being adequately taught what's right, the harder it will be to rehome successfully later.

I wish I had known this previously. Unfortunately; I am now going back to work and won’t be home to do this ‘boot camp’ style of training.

As a side note: I live in a townhome. It’s not feasible to have a dog barking in a crate all day; which is what I’d be dealing with if I did this. Regardless, I’m going to contact the rescue. I’m a bad pet parent and not suited for a pet.

Np but what have you been doing?! This is puppy training 101. Not trying to make you feel bad but you’ve clearly been advised wrong.