Happy seniors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People over 80 who are "happy" must not think about dying too much, must not have friends dropping like flies, must not be in pain. I would say the happy ones probably have dementia, not the unhappy realistic ones.

This is just nonsense. Are you 17, miserable in your own skin and life or something else?

[Anonymous]

Good genetics mostly. Encourage your children to breed with people who are positive, hard working, smart, and healthy. And whose ancestors were the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People over 80 who are "happy" must not think about dying too much, must not have friends dropping like flies, must not be in pain. I would say the happy ones probably have dementia, not the unhappy realistic ones.

wtf

[Anonymous]

My mom is 80. She worked as a social worker, my dad died when she was about 45 and has never had any money. She remains pretty upbeat and positive. She has good friends and stays engaged with book clubs lectures etc. She also likes to help her neighbors and friends when she is able. I do think that her physical limitations are starting to take a toll on her though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only people in my extended family who had personality shifts like that in later years had dementia. everyone else kept their same personality and interests to the end in spite of other physical set backs.

Did your parents have a personality change, or have they always ben this way?

They have always been insensitive and at times mean but I noticed a big decline after the pandemic, especially in my mother. I think being home with my dad made her turn into the female version of him. I do not think it's dementia but they have likely had some form of mental illness or personality disorder a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people I see who are happy are those that generally had a good natured attitude all along. They are active. They are generous with their time and with helping others. They cheer people’s accomplishments and take joy in the good fortune and happiness of others. They have good relationships with and reasonable amounts of involvement with their kids and grand kids. They do things with friends. They are not needy and don’t need others to solve their problems. They take pleasure in little things like growing flowers and a good cup of coffee.

My spouse and I are at retirement age (though haven’t pulled the plug yet) and I am really kind of focused on understanding this. I want to continue to be the people that our kids and nieces and nephews and all of their kids want to hang out with. And I want to love life as we age.

Our parents are not our role models for aging. And I do think the MAGA cult has really turned its cult members into negative people.

Not OP, but thanks everyone for your insight.

OP - I didn't mention MAGA, but yes they are. That is part of their bitterness. Somehow they are the persecuted ones (in their $2 million Potomac house, really?) and look down on everyone.

[Anonymous]

Well OP, not to be a downer, but a lot of personality traits are inherited, so there's a good chance you'll become your parents.

You need to start actively doing CBT therapy and be open to trying medication for anxiety and/or depression as soon as people around you tell that you're getting negative (or maybe if you notice it yourself).