Should you compliment people on weight loss?

[Anonymous]

I don’t, ever. Not necessary and not my business.

[Anonymous]

Say nothing. It implies they looked less than before.

If they mention gym time I think then it’s ok to say you can tell they have been very dedicated to their program and it’s inspiring.

[Anonymous]

I have been up and down in weight and people telling me I look so great for having lost weight make my heart sink a little. I still see myself as a fat person on the inside and it feels like a total insult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You look great!"

(if you really think they do - otherwise you don't say anything)

This. I lost 150lbs, and I started to hate all the weight loss comments. I actually hate the “You look great” comment as well if a weight comment is attached to it.

[Anonymous]

I just say "you're looking well." Keep it vague--if they're proud of the weight loss, it's an invitation for them to share, if they don't want to talk about it, they can just reply "thanks!" and everyone moves along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been up and down in weight and people telling me I look so great for having lost weight make my heart sink a little. I still see myself as a fat person on the inside and it feels like a total insult.

I had a coworker tell me I lost a tremendous amount of weight. Ugh. I get it. I'm enormous. She was absolutely trying to be nice, very very sweet woman, and had no idea how insulting it was.

[Anonymous]

NO. I've lost weight due to the death of my father, the loss of my job, etc etc etc.
Also, pointing out a "positive" change like that always makes me wonder what they thought about me before, like were they secretly thinking I was obese?

[Anonymous]

Well, I lost a lot of weight over the past year - intentionally and with a ton of hard work, and I love when people comment on how good I look. Shallow, I know, but I do love it.

But, I also understand why it's better not to comment. I think it's fine to say you look really great, and then if the person responds w/ "Yeah, I've been working hard at getting healther" - then you can lean in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You look great is okay, but I wouldn’t comment on weight otherwise.

This, and I’ll only say it is I truly mean it. Weight loss does not always make someone look better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not say anything about weight loss please. Not all weight loss is positive, for one.

You can always say, "you look happy” or “you look like you’re in a good mood, how are things?” (Assuming their face actually shows happiness)

I don't care for this at all. It sounds childish.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t even say ‘you look great!’ I’ve gone up and down in weight, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not, and it is so so awkward if someone says something. I don’t want to think about people looking at or noticing my body at all. You think I look great now, you must have thought I was so fat last year when I stress ate through my dad’s terminal illness. Just don’t.

Unless it’s a close friend whose been open about weight loss or you’re complimenting someone you’re dating, just don’t talk about people’s bodies, at all.

[Anonymous]

What about if someone has made improvements in other areas and you want to compliment them? For example can you point out that someone has a book in their hand and tell them how great it is that they are becoming more literate?

If someone always looks tired can you compliment them on being more rested? Better dressed than they used to be?

If you’re not allowed to tell people that you noticed that they used to do or be “x” and you’re really happy that now they are doing or being “y” then I am not sure why weight is different.

Is the subtext like “eeww, you used to be really hard to look at and now you are easier on my eyes?”

[Anonymous]

No, never. I had someone compliment me on my weight loss when I was going through a terrible divorce. Just don’t comment on people’s bodies period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You look great" is fine. Nothing else is needed. You do not need to specify the way in which they look great.

Not all weight loss is positive, sometimes people are sick. And definitely don't say "you look healthy" or anything loaded like that.

This. You look great is all that is needed.

[Anonymous]

My married, male neighbor has definitely lost weight, maybe 50 pounds. I am a married woman. I would consider us friends though. Would it be appropriate to say something?