Social engineering

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What age?

Usually it is the moms inviting their own friends’ kids, more than anything.

They are early elementary. It seemed like the mom cherry picked only the pretty girls and left out the not attractive girls.

Most early elementary girls are pretty/very cute! What do you mean, the “non attractive” girls ugh…..

I have a feeling you mean “girls who are into stereotypically ‘girly’ things” possibly? Kids will gravitate towards kids who have similar “interests”- even at that early age. Same with “sporty” boys. That is most likely what this is, actually. Has nothing to do with who is “pretty”- they are almost all so cute at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what age you are talking about but my kid is 5 and playdates definitely are more something we do with parents we get along with. Otherwise it is torture. So there"s absolutely something there about parents choosing the friends but it's not always about looks. In preschool, I approached the moms that didn't seem cliquey.

+1

At that age we tended to do more playdates with parents we knew/liked and were friendly/receptive and easy to schedule with. By middle-late elementary everything is all drop off and the kids had stronger opinions/totally picked their own friends. Some of the early friendships lasted but most really did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I send out an invite to whoever my DD asks to have a playdate with. I invite them back regardless of looks, more dependent on their behavior.

This is us too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What age?

Usually it is the moms inviting their own friends’ kids, more than anything.

They are early elementary. It seemed like the mom cherry picked only the pretty girls and left out the not attractive girls.

Most early elementary girls are pretty/very cute! What do you mean, the “non attractive” girls ugh…..

I have a feeling you mean “girls who are into stereotypically ‘girly’ things” possibly? Kids will gravitate towards kids who have similar “interests”- even at that early age. Same with “sporty” boys. That is most likely what this is, actually. Has nothing to do with who is “pretty”- they are almost all so cute at that age.

+1. My DD is in 2nd grade and they are all so cute. I can’t imagine categorizing them by prettiness!

[Anonymous]

We haven't seen this in our DC elementary but my friend in the suburbs say it's not about the attractiveness of the kids but the power plays to get access to the parents. At my kids' charter School, the kids drive the invitations and most parties are for the full class through elementary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Money
Looks

You are surprised?

Sure, but I would also add precociousness. The girls at the 'top of the food chain' at our school seem to be a combination of precocious, rich (though not necessarily rich rich), and stylish. I see combinations of cute and rich, but if you're awkward or odd, you're not going to popular among the socially savvy popularity climbers. All of this I say lightly as someone who observes. My kids have never been among the popular set

[Anonymous]

this is absolutely a thing. especially in the DMV

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think this existed. I’m beginning to see it with my daughter. Certain moms seem to only invite the pretty girls to play dates and parties. Seems like it starts young!

I always thought the girls chose the friends but I can see some moms are making the guest lists.

And dont forget rich

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Money
Looks

You are surprised?

Kids don’t have money so that doesn’t matter.

To the parents who are social climbers it does!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Money
Looks

You are surprised?

Kids don’t have money so that doesn’t matter.

DP. And the “good looking” kids are usually average looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They want good photos.

- for social media.

Don’t you think about that too?