-For spa, I loved the spa at the The Lodge at Sonoma. Really lovely private spa pool and nice amenities. They even have cabanas you can rent for the day and food you can order to the spa. The service was incredible.
-For food & cute small town check out Yountville. The French Laundry is there (they have sibling restaurants that are easier to get a table at and also delicious) and they have the farm where they grow produce.
-I recommend checking out the Culinary Institute of America location in Napa. It’s fun to walk around, looks kinda like a castle. And they have a restaurant where their students can practice skills.
-Last time I was in Napa I really enjoyed the Oxbow public market. They have Loveski deli (amazing bagels) and all these cool gourmet food stalls and shops. Got some cool souvenirs and gifts for my family there who love unique snacks/chocolates, etc.
-could be fun on your way to or from Napa/Sonoma to stop at Muir Woods (~1.5-2 hour majestic easy stroll under huge redwoods), and maybe Sausalito (beautiful, right over the Golden Gate Bridge, town on the water). There you can go to Heath Ceramics and shop their seconds/outlet store. Maybe get a bite to eat after Muir Woods and continue on your way. I always try to build in time to take the Golden Gate Bridge at least one way. It’s not always the fastest or most convenient to SFO but sooo beautiful.
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