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I have a kid like this.
What works for us: Most “self reflection” questions are what job interviews call “STAR” questions. Tons of resources online. Use the STAR outline. “S” is for situation, help brainstorm situations. Useful skill for future job interviews too, which helped my kid see this as not just a weird college application skill. Once you have your situation, set a timer. 15 minutes to draft the essay, complete with a “finish your sentence” and “pencils down.” Getting something on paper is the hardest part. From there on it’s just editing. |
Agree. I help her with brainstorming and just getting thoughts out there. Then I say go write something down for 30 minutes, the more the better. Then we look at it together and work on edits. She also has several main essays - major, diversity, community, etc and tailored for word count. The ones that were more school specific were harder and took more effort but actually I think were some of the most heartfelt ones. |
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Use a timer to wrote as many bullet point thoughts that come to mind on the topic in 15 minutes. Then shape those bullets into sentences. Then get two or three people to provide feedback. Clean up and finalize.
Note: If is supplementary is about Why you like that college, the student should review the website, class offerings etc and have a few bullets specifically about what they like about the school. Also, try to have the bullets touch on info not already conveyed in the general essay or elsewhere in the application. |
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Go for a drive (teen driving) or to a coffee shop or favorite restaurant - somewhere your kid will go with you but you can talk. Do NOT bring a laptop. Bring paper and pencil. Before leaving, on the top of each paper, write the prompt.
While driving/at the coffee shop/restaurant, ask the kid the question. Write down what they say. Repeat it back to them - so what you said is blah blah blah. They'll probably correct some or clarify or add more details. You're kind of asking follow up questions like a reporter. It's a conversation versus them writing. Talk about an interesting way to start each response - for those with enough word count, ask for an anecdote that illustrates the answer. Write it all down (bullets are fine). Get home. Give them the papers. The heavy lifting is done. They take the papers and wrote the supplementals based on the notes. Agree that once you have done this for a few you likely have adaptable ones for multiple schools. |
They will be fine for majority majors. This types of writing is never required in the future for most students. For example, Grades school application essays are completely different and don’t require nearly as much reflection. DC was a solid student and did everything on their own except for college app essays. Now graduated and study at MIT as a PhD student. |
DP. I know you don’t care, but this just bad parenting. The ends don’t justify the means. |
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Mine is a great writer and hated these. Hates talking about herself. Thinks all of these essays sound braggy or faux humble and totally cringe. I have no idea what she wrote as she felt it was even more cringe to share them with mom. She’s at a top school and doing great but I think she would say these are the worse things she ever wrote.
Schools would do better to ask kids to write about a good book. Or write about a political or historical event. Or anything other than write about yourself or about this school. I’m always tempted with these self reflective essays to echo Dostoevsky: “ am a sick man. I am a spiteful man. I am an unpleasant man. I think something is not right with my liver.” At least that’s more interesting than the typical variation on I am a self motivated student who loves learning. Once I encountered a challenge. This is how I deal with that challenge and emerged a more self motivate student who loves learning even more and would be a perfect fit your school which I understand to be full of students who love learning. |
This is great parenting, actually. |