advice for laid off engineer DD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She will find a job. But not at the moment. Tell her to look.at BAE. My husband works there and they desperately need more people!

Thanks, I will tell her!

[Anonymous]

Help her with an FU fund so she's not so pressed about employment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that the average job search is 3-6 months and set her expectations accordingly. She should be applying to 10-20 jobs/week and networking 3-4 hours per week. Treat the job search like a job.

This is good advice.

Also have a real talk about white collar work in the "no loyalty" era.

This may keep happening over her career through no fault of her own.

This is true. Her Dad pointed this out to her. She pointed out that he's been working at the same co for 12 years! She'd planned on staying at her company for five years or longer. She's angry that her loyalty meant nothing! They gave her a huge raise last year and seemed to love her. And the layoff came out of nowhere. Is that how it's done now? She came into work one day and was told she's been laid off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that the average job search is 3-6 months and set her expectations accordingly. She should be applying to 10-20 jobs/week and networking 3-4 hours per week. Treat the job search like a job.

Excellent advise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need some sort of automatic button that just posts this reply to every question in the “Adult Children” forum:

Is she asking for help?

Complaining and panicking are NOT asking for help. Unless she specifically asks for your input*, go with commiseration and support. “Oh, that is so tough. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. You’re smart and industrious, I know you’ll figure it out. Not having a job is so stressful particularly over the holidays.” Etc. etc.

*This looks like this: “Mom, I’m really struggling with my job search. So far I’ve X, Y, and Z. Is there more I should be doing at this stage? What do you think?

Hahaha PP.
This forum is for the parents, not the kids!!
DD did directly ask me to look for jobs for her to apply to. She is completely burned out on searching online. She is networking, but that's a slow process.

Anxious parents need empathy too! It's stressful not being able to reassure DD. Every conversation with her is a long litany of complaints. TBH I want her to stop complaining! And it hurts me to see her suffering. No matter how old your children are, you want to help them when they are in pain.

[Anonymous]

Emergency fund is key. Once she starts working make sure she grows one if she currently doesn't have one. Her situation is very common.

Also, always keep her resume updated at all times. Throughout her career, she may be let go at any time so she needs to develop the ability to move on. It's not personal though it feels like it. Also, she should beware about having any excessive loyalty. Her first thought should always be what is best for her.

- Thoughts for when she finds her next job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that the average job search is 3-6 months and set her expectations accordingly. She should be applying to 10-20 jobs/week and networking 3-4 hours per week. Treat the job search like a job.

This is good advice.

Also have a real talk about white collar work in the "no loyalty" era.

This may keep happening over her career through no fault of her own.

This is true. Her Dad pointed this out to her. She pointed out that he's been working at the same co for 12 years! She'd planned on staying at her company for five years or longer. She's angry that her loyalty meant nothing! They gave her a huge raise last year and seemed to love her. And the layoff came out of nowhere. Is that how it's done now? She came into work one day and was told she's been laid off.

What firm won the contract that her firm lost? That is where she should be targeting, reaching to folks on LinkenIn, etc. No one (outside of HR) enjoys recruiting. Given what you've stated, she should be a top of the list candidate at new firm. Good luck to DD! I was laid off from my first job after college, when our company was sold, as were 99% of people (a handful asked to relocate to TX where they were combining our co. with their established division). My biggest concern was money for rent, car pmt, and student loan debt. If you have the means and are able to reassure DD that you can help out, that would go a long way.

[Anonymous]

We just posted new jobs we are hiring for and I'd be shocked if we fill them before February

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just posted new jobs we are hiring for and I'd be shocked if we fill them before February

I will tell DD this! She has unrealistic expectations about how long it takes to find a new job. She has enough savings for now and she got severance, so she can afford to take her time and find the right job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I need some sort of automatic button that just posts this reply to every question in the “Adult Children” forum:

Is she asking for help?

Complaining and panicking are NOT asking for help. Unless she specifically asks for your input*, go with commiseration and support. “Oh, that is so tough. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. You’re smart and industrious, I know you’ll figure it out. Not having a job is so stressful particularly over the holidays.” Etc. etc.

*This looks like this: “Mom, I’m really struggling with my job search. So far I’ve X, Y, and Z. Is there more I should be doing at this stage? What do you think?

Hahaha PP.
This forum is for the parents, not the kids!!
DD did directly ask me to look for jobs for her to apply to. She is completely burned out on searching online. She is networking, but that's a slow process.

Anxious parents need empathy too! It's stressful not being able to reassure DD. Every conversation with her is a long litany of complaints. TBH I want her to stop complaining! And it hurts me to see her suffering. No matter how old your children are, you want to help them when they are in pain.

PP here. I get that it’s hard. I’m not saying this is easy advice. I’m a parent - yes, you don’t want to hear your kid complain and yes, you want to help them when they’re in pain or struggling.

But I stand by my advice. She has asked, as you say, for help looking for jobs to apply to. So - help with that. Look through monster.com or snagajob.com or wherever else and suggest some jobs she might want to apply to. There might be some applications of her skills that she’s not thinking of, or some out of the box ideas that wouldn’t occur to her. Start a new post on DCUM listing out some of her skills and experience and get suggestions for specific companies or fields or job types (you’ve already got some of that on this thread which you should totally pass along). That’s a place where older, more experienced members of the workforce can be helpful and, it’s what she asked for!

What she has not asked for is predictions on how long this will take, input on whether her expectations of a job search are reasonable, whether he former employer was reasonable or whether that is a common occurrence, or how not to panic. So DON’T offer unsolicited advice on these topics!

Don’t you remember being in your 20s? Everything is hard and awful and a huge challenge. But did you appreciate unsolicited advice from your mother? I know I didn’t! She’s asked for what she wants help with. So, help with that and if she wants help or advice on more stuff, she’ll ask. Bite your knuckles bloody if you have to, but keep your mouth shut except for things you are explicitly asked about, and trust her to get through this without you. That trust and confidence in her, a fellow adult, is the best gift you can give her.

[Anonymous]

DD with DD's

[Anonymous]

Given the holiday timing, she should take some time off to relax. Job searching will be slow, and it’ll be good for her to go into interviews feeling energized and confident. Desperation reeks and is palpable.

[Anonymous]

People hire now a complete myth. They just don't start xmas or new years week.

Today is a great day to send out an offer letter, lets background check, drug test etc get done over holidays and person can give notice and they can start mid January.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the contract go to another firm? Tell her to network there.

This is the smartest answer.

[Anonymous]

Review this thread.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1246269.page

Have your daughter review how to optimize AI use per my reco on the other thread. Resource/person below was endorsed by my MBA alum association.

https://www.thejobinsider...om/welcome

Jeremy Schifeling | Founder, The Job Insiders
Author of the #1 ChatGPT for Careers Best-Seller on Amazon"