What should I get my (new) MIL for Christmas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ask: What gifts have you gotten from a daughter in law or son in law that you loved and/or were meaningful?

Context: I did not grow up celebrating Christmas, and the family I married into isn’t super religious but does Christmas. Love my MIL, FIL and I have never hit it off. Last year I realized that MIL was always the “fill her own stocking” person — she got gifts for her husband and herself and signed her kids names. I want to do something special for her and have some ideas, but would love to crowdsource if you have a suggestion!

Happy to give more context if more is needed.

I'm that way, and it's because I am extremely picky and prefer not to receive gifts I don't like. I choose them myself.
Don't assume MIL is a downtrodden housewife.

You sound ungrateful.

Why? I'm actually a people-pleaser, and it stresses me out to receive a gift that I know I'm never going to use the gift. My husband makes chocolates for me, instead of buying me things, because he knows I love his chocolates; and my parents wait until I send them a wish list and they send me something from the list. This year I need kitchen utensils. I'll be thrilled to receive exactly the ones I want!

[Anonymous]

Really good quality small candles. If she cooks, Penzey’s spices. For cooks I sometimes give spendy items like vanilla beans or saffron. If she drinks at all get a few mini bottles of alcohol for her stocking, even if just Baileys. If you think she likes to read books, get her a novel you liked very much. If you can get a photo of her dogs, you could order those socks with her dog photos on them (if she’s a bit of a fun type who would appreciate that). Nice quality dark chocolate. Foot mask. A cashmere scarf (very soft). An elegant Christmas ornament (even better if you can tie it to something meaningful or relevant to her).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really good quality small candles. If she cooks, Penzey’s spices. For cooks I sometimes give spendy items like vanilla beans or saffron. If she drinks at all get a few mini bottles of alcohol for her stocking, even if just Baileys. If you think she likes to read books, get her a novel you liked very much. If you can get a photo of her dogs, you could order those socks with her dog photos on them (if she’s a bit of a fun type who would appreciate that). Nice quality dark chocolate. Foot mask. A cashmere scarf (very soft). An elegant Christmas ornament (even better if you can tie it to something meaningful or relevant to her).

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

If you have access to photos, then do a chronology of her life pre and with family. I personally like them to be the old fashioned type of photo album. Something she can sit down with and turn pages.

Another idea is to get small photos of each of her kids in elementary school or as toddlers and put them in small decorative frames that coordinate.

Maybe even do some photos of her with the FIL and make headway with him. He probably senses that you don't approve of how he treats his wife.

[Anonymous]

All I can add is that it's really kind and thoughtful of you.

[Anonymous]

Does she like tea? The Palais de Thes teas are delicious! Maybe a gift set?

[Anonymous]

One of those chinoiserie blue and white cachepots with orchards in them

[Anonymous]

How about a nice ornament for her to put on the tree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t the son she raised put anything in her stocking? Why are you perpetuating that type of neglect from the son she raised?

Oh believe me. It’s being addressed. But I also want to do something nice for her from me.

Clarifying: Her son has gotten her variations on a theme for about eight years but sometimes forgets and tells her what is coming on Christmas instead of having a gift. I’m making sure he gets things on time, not changes his theme.

Sureeee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really good quality small candles. If she cooks, Penzey’s spices. For cooks I sometimes give spendy items like vanilla beans or saffron. If she drinks at all get a few mini bottles of alcohol for her stocking, even if just Baileys. If you think she likes to read books, get her a novel you liked very much. If you can get a photo of her dogs, you could order those socks with her dog photos on them (if she’s a bit of a fun type who would appreciate that). Nice quality dark chocolate. Foot mask. A cashmere scarf (very soft). An elegant Christmas ornament (even better if you can tie it to something meaningful or relevant to her).

I would add a small tube of nice lotion to put in her purse during the winter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have access to photos, then do a chronology of her life pre and with family. I personally like them to be the old fashioned type of photo album. Something she can sit down with and turn pages.

Another idea is to get small photos of each of her kids in elementary school or as toddlers and put them in small decorative frames that coordinate.

Maybe even do some photos of her with the FIL and make headway with him. He probably senses that you don't approve of how he treats his wife.

+1
I find most of my older relatives don’t really “need” or even want much of anything (in terms of material things). But they always appreciate photo gifts. Online websites make things pretty easy to do (Shutterfly etc). You could always pick up a few stocking stuffers as well.

[Anonymous]

You sound delightful, OP. I don’t have any DIL/SIL yet, but serious partners. I’ve bent over backwards to be welcoming and supportive to a current and they are generally dismissive and rude. Just that you “see” your MIL is so lovely.

I would not do lotions and photos. Stick with her interests. And I know if it were me I would be thrilled if you got tickets for a show (or the movies), or mani/pedis for the two of us together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn’t the son she raised put anything in her stocking? Why are you perpetuating that type of neglect from the son she raised?

Oh believe me. It’s being addressed. But I also want to do something nice for her from me.

Clarifying: Her son has gotten her variations on a theme for about eight years but sometimes forgets and tells her what is coming on Christmas instead of having a gift. I’m making sure he gets things on time, not changes his theme.

Did you marry a child?

[Anonymous]

I’m a big fan of really warm mittens and scarves - so she can wear them when she walks the dog.

What about a framed picture of her dogs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a big fan of really warm mittens and scarves - so she can wear them when she walks the dog.

What about a framed picture of her dogs?

or another idea - you can find artists that will create a painting or sketch from a photo. You could do this for the dogs?