managing a pregnant woman who is struggling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTW APRILMAYJUNE is starting to drive me bananas.

I agree whenever I see her username I don't even bother reading her posts.

[Anonymous]

Be kind, honest and upfront with her about your concerns. Be supportive as much as you can be.

But I fully agree that it shouldn't be "acceptable" behavior (lack of better wording) or go unnoticed. Can you talk to HR about it?

I'm more of the type to use work as a distraction from personal life stress though.

[Anonymous]

Whatever your future planning is, expect it to be for several weeks since 1st trimester nausea can last a long time.

And why can't your superviser take sick leave like everybody else? Just b/c it's preg. related doesn't mean she gets a free pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW APRILMAYJUNE is starting to drive me bananas.

I agree whenever I see her username I don't even bother reading her posts.

Who knows how many other individual people you would hate if you could actually tell which posts were all written by the same person?

[Anonymous]

OP,

I am part of a 9 person office with a tight budget. I was SO DAMN SICK during my first and half of my second trimesters (nausea FINALLY subsided after 20 weeks) that I could barely lift my head off the pillow. I thought I'd tough it out and was at work retching into a wastebasket and feeling faint but still trying to come in early and leave late, when my boss said to me, very gently:

Much of this stuff you can do from home. I can see you are not feeling well. (other VP) and I have talked about this, and he's willing to pick up some slack and so am I so that we can cover your deliverables. Your job is safe and secure, and we want you to take the time you need to have a healthy pregnancy and keep your sanity.
This may have stemmed from the fact that, 20 some years ago, his wife barfed her way through an entire pregnancy and was put on bedrest toward the end while she was the primary breadwinner in her family and he was in grad school.

This same person granted me permission to come back part time instead of full time after 3 months of fully paid maternity leave. I asked him how he was able to do this given the current economic environment and he simply replied "we invest in our people around here." It shows. Our staff has almost zero percent attrition. We all work our butts off and feel an enormous sense of pride in what we do. If one of us is behind on deadlines, we KNOW it's not because they're goofing off -- something is going on. Sure, people will say this kind of work environment is not realistic, but my response is: why not?

I'm now the boss, and do the same for my employees. Our team performs so well, and so highly, and I truly believe our family style work environment is chief among reasons. We pick up one another's slack because we are a team. If you are playing basketball and one of your star players is not at full steam, you take the time to investigate why and try to help him get back up to speed.

And what's with the weird attacks on AprilMayJune? Ignore them, AMJ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a tough pregnancy, a horrific pregnancy. I was on bedrest for a portion of my pregnancy. That being said, I met everyone of my delieverables and I met with my supervisor to arrange times to work from home to make sure that I could complete my projects on time. Pregnancy is not an illness, it is not a disability. I was on bedrest and working from my computer to complete tasks. If you are unable to do your job because you are pregnant - then you are unable to do your job.

No pregnancy is not a disability, but it can be disabling.

I had hyperemesis that lasted until 2 weeks after I gave birth. I was so sick that literally each time I moved, I threw up. I tried to work through it but it was impossible and I just needed to sit still and not move...even while in the bed. Aside from that, throwing up in excess of 20 times a day is just exhausting so I did have to stop working, but I did resume after I had the baby.

So pardon me if I am put off by the tone of your post and any other "pregnancy isn't a sickness" type posts. I said I'd never wish what I went through on anyone but I swear some people make it really hard for me to stand by that.

If the lady can still perform her job, cut her some slack. It's only temporary and it won't kill you to be flexible with the work hours or let her work from home at times if she needs to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a tough pregnancy, a horrific pregnancy. I was on bedrest for a portion of my pregnancy. That being said, I met everyone of my delieverables and I met with my supervisor to arrange times to work from home to make sure that I could complete my projects on time. Pregnancy is not an illness, it is not a disability. I was on bedrest and working from my computer to complete tasks. If you are unable to do your job because you are pregnant - then you are unable to do your job.

Thanks for this because I have tried to explain this to a friend who is expecting her 2nd and is driving me insane with calls several times a day about how she should be receiving special treatment at her office. I would really like to scream and tell her to shut up but instead I just look at caller ID and don't answer her calls and I also told her there is something wrong with voice mail and messages are garbled. l don't want to lose a friendship but I can't take this for another 7 months!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a tough pregnancy, a horrific pregnancy. I was on bedrest for a portion of my pregnancy. That being said, I met everyone of my delieverables and I met with my supervisor to arrange times to work from home to make sure that I could complete my projects on time. Pregnancy is not an illness, it is not a disability. I was on bedrest and working from my computer to complete tasks. If you are unable to do your job because you are pregnant - then you are unable to do your job.

No pregnancy is not a disability, but it can be disabling.

I had hyperemesis that lasted until 2 weeks after I gave birth. I was so sick that literally each time I moved, I threw up. I tried to work through it but it was impossible and I just needed to sit still and not move...even while in the bed. Aside from that, throwing up in excess of 20 times a day is just exhausting so I did have to stop working, but I did resume after I had the baby.

So pardon me if I am put off by the tone of your post and any other "pregnancy isn't a sickness" type posts. I said I'd never wish what I went through on anyone but I swear some people make it really hard for me to stand by that.

If the lady can still perform her job, cut her some slack. It's only temporary and it won't kill you to be flexible with the work hours or let her work from home at times if she needs to.

In that case she should give every empoloyee who has any kind of problem some slack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I am part of a 9 person office with a tight budget. I was SO DAMN SICK during my first and half of my second trimesters (nausea FINALLY subsided after 20 weeks) that I could barely lift my head off the pillow. I thought I'd tough it out and was at work retching into a wastebasket and feeling faint but still trying to come in early and leave late, when my boss said to me, very gently:

Much of this stuff you can do from home. I can see you are not feeling well. (other VP) and I have talked about this, and he's willing to pick up some slack and so am I so that we can cover your deliverables. Your job is safe and secure, and we want you to take the time you need to have a healthy pregnancy and keep your sanity.
This may have stemmed from the fact that, 20 some years ago, his wife barfed her way through an entire pregnancy and was put on bedrest toward the end while she was the primary breadwinner in her family and he was in grad school.

This same person granted me permission to come back part time instead of full time after 3 months of fully paid maternity leave. I asked him how he was able to do this given the current economic environment and he simply replied "we invest in our people around here." It shows. Our staff has almost zero percent attrition. We all work our butts off and feel an enormous sense of pride in what we do. If one of us is behind on deadlines, we KNOW it's not because they're goofing off -- something is going on. Sure, people will say this kind of work environment is not realistic, but my response is: why not?

I'm now the boss, and do the same for my employees. Our team performs so well, and so highly, and I truly believe our family style work environment is chief among reasons. We pick up one another's slack because we are a team. If you are playing basketball and one of your star players is not at full steam, you take the time to investigate why and try to help him get back up to speed.

And what's with the weird attacks on AprilMayJune? Ignore them, AMJ

I posted earlier about my small team. I give people a lot of slack because life happens. As a rusult I have never had someone quit on me and my team members would do just about anything asked of them.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should talk to HR. I am in HR and you need to talk to them about this.

[Anonymous]

Um technically, pregnancy is a disability. I was on bed rest the last two months and could not walk. And I was in too much pain to work. NTM, the pregnancy as a whole was very hard.

I would cut her some slack and see if you can't get a temp or someone else to fill in. I am not saying pay for the time off. But, if she is sick she is sick. For some people pregnancy is a breeze for others it is a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a tough pregnancy, a horrific pregnancy. I was on bedrest for a portion of my pregnancy. That being said, I met everyone of my delieverables and I met with my supervisor to arrange times to work from home to make sure that I could complete my projects on time. Pregnancy is not an illness, it is not a disability. I was on bedrest and working from my computer to complete tasks. If you are unable to do your job because you are pregnant - then you are unable to do your job.

Thanks for this because I have tried to explain this to a friend who is expecting her 2nd and is driving me insane with calls several times a day about how she should be receiving special treatment at her office. I would really like to scream and tell her to shut up but instead I just look at caller ID and don't answer her calls and I also told her there is something wrong with voice mail and messages are garbled. l don't want to lose a friendship but I can't take this for another 7 months!

I'm guessing the reply here was a joke? I hope?

[Anonymous]

I've been on both sides of this issue - I've been the one out on maternity leave, and I've also been the one to pick up extra duties when a coworker was on maternity leave. As the supervisor, OP, I think you need to try to balance the needs of your pregnant staff member along with those of the rest of the team. Talk to her - say hey, I know you've been having a hard time lately, maybe suggest some strategies to help her out while also helping ensure the work gets done. If she feels sick every afternoon, for example, can she shift her work hours so she's starting and ending the day earlier for awhile? For the members of your staff who may be picking up the slack, let them know that you recognize that they're doing a bit extra and that you appreciate it. It's a crappy feeling knowing you've been stuck with all the duties of a second job without the pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever your future planning is, expect it to be for several weeks since 1st trimester nausea can last a long time.

And why can't your superviser take sick leave like everybody else? Just b/c it's preg. related doesn't mean she gets a free pass.[/quote]

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a tough pregnancy, a horrific pregnancy. I was on bedrest for a portion of my pregnancy. That being said, I met everyone of my delieverables and I met with my supervisor to arrange times to work from home to make sure that I could complete my projects on time. Pregnancy is not an illness, it is not a disability. I was on bedrest and working from my computer to complete tasks. If you are unable to do your job because you are pregnant - then you are unable to do your job.

No pregnancy is not a disability, but it can be disabling.

I had hyperemesis that lasted until 2 weeks after I gave birth. I was so sick that literally each time I moved, I threw up. I tried to work through it but it was impossible and I just needed to sit still and not move...even while in the bed. Aside from that, throwing up in excess of 20 times a day is just exhausting so I did have to stop working, but I did resume after I had the baby.

So pardon me if I am put off by the tone of your post and any other "pregnancy isn't a sickness" type posts. I said I'd never wish what I went through on anyone but I swear some people make it really hard for me to stand by that.

If the lady can still perform her job, cut her some slack. It's only temporary and it won't kill you to be flexible with the work hours or let her work from home at times if she needs to.

In that case she should give every empoloyee who has any kind of problem some slack.

Ok...no one said that shouldn't be the case. But the topic is not "I have two sick employees, does one get more concern than the other?" The topic is specifically related to the issue of a pregnant employee.