How to stay sane when neighbor brags about her 3yo all the time

[Anonymous]

You need to step back and see the humor. French? Hope in one? Ask whether he ia putting his name in to be Ambassador? Is he joining the PGA? Ok? Maybe not out loud.

You are not in competition with her or child. She is the one who is in competition with the world.

[Anonymous]

The neighbor lacks social skills. You need to compensate. In this case, it means learning how to redirect the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There will always be parents that brag on their kids. Learning to tune it out is a serious parenting skill.

I find it helpful to realize that the odds are good that that mother is insecure about her parenting and bolstering her confidence by focusing on the things she is bragging about.

+1. This is the winning attitude.

[Anonymous]

POOPCUP! 🤣

Try to tune her out as much as you can. This phase for her will also pass. But in the meantime, learn how to say “Oh, that’s nice.”

[Anonymous]

You need to reflect on why you are so triggered by this person. You are making a problem where this isn't one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely block/hide her on social media.

+1

Try to tune out in person and if it's too much then you just have to limit time with them.

I have a 3yo and none of what that neighbor brags about would be important to me.

[Anonymous]

Let it go, OP. She's just excited about her kid. Why aren't you more excited about your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let it go, OP. She's just excited about her kid. Why aren't you more excited about your kids?

Weird take

[Anonymous]

3 Year Olds are amazing aren't they!?

[Anonymous]

OP here. thanks for all the responses. I do know there are some weird relationship dynamics and the mom is very image focused (wears logos all the time, talks about all the events they go to, etc.) so I need to be polite and give her grace.

For those asking, my kid is awesome and I don't typically find anything that she brags about to be important. I do think her bragging some times feeds into my own insecurities that I am not spending enough money fostering skills in my kid like sending to a fancy preschool, getting golf lessons, etc. I know it's not important but I'd be lying if I didn't second guess myself here and there after hanging out with her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid could be a genius, but it’s more likely the mom is just a POOPCUP. Parent of Only One Perfect Child Under Preschoolage. In a few short years, he’ll hit K and be making deez nuts jokes and asking for a tablet to play Minecraft just like all the other boys. Just smile and nod for now!

PP: thanks - this alone was worth coming to dcum today

[Anonymous]

Def do your best to ignore op. The poopcup reference has me dying and is definitely true. most parents aren't like that in this area, in my experience. But you will find them here and there everywhere. It is probably coming from some place of insecurity, either way it is not fun to be around. I have to say I'm impressed you play on the floor every morning and night!! Lol. So, we all have things we compare too even when we don't mean to Relaxed is almost always better for kids so don't worry.

[Anonymous]

Poopcup is a perfect description of this phenomenon.

Try grey rock.
Or my sibling would make snarky comments to braggers and this tends to get that low self-esteem person to stop.
Or ride it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There will always be parents that brag on their kids. Learning to tune it out is a serious parenting skill.

I find it helpful to realize that the odds are good that that mother is insecure about her parenting and bolstering her confidence by focusing on the things she is bragging about.

This. Stop reading her social media. Hide her if you need to for a bit. Down the line she is the same parent who will be complaining the school is "accusing" her little snowflake of being a bully because they don't understand him.

Stay arm's length polite. I find a few phrases to have back are nice "oh that's nice" or "I'm glad that's worked out for your family" or "huh". Don't overshare about your own child's progress/stats. Just say "on Billy is right where he needs to be" if you have to say something. "Billy is doing well!" etc.

[Anonymous]

You minimize your interactions with people like this. That's it.

In my own friendships, I prefer to socialize with people who don't have same age kids to mine. It really helps cut out the direct comparison. It's also great when our kids just have different interests and are different kinds of people. Anything that short circuits the tendency of many parents (but especially in this area) to constantly compare their children to other children with the intention of "winning" the comparison.

It also helps to recognize what is driving this kind of talk. I think with a 3 yo it may partly be driven by just being very wrapped up in their kid right now -- that will shift as their kid gets older and more complicated. Parents of babies and toddlers can be wide eyed and optimistic about kids in an almost childish way because they have yet to deal with their kids as truly separate people from them. As kids get older and more independent, most parents will segue into a more pragmatic and even-toned attitude towards their kids. They will see their kids fail and struggle and they will have their own parenting challenges.

But also some people are just extremely insecure and competitive and it helps to avoid these people altogether. What you describe sounds annoying AF and I would personally stay friendly but not socialize with this woman. I'd tolerate her during playdates or playground run-ins and I'd be careful not to say anything negative about her or her kid to my own kid -- if you have same age kids in the same neighborhood, you don't want to make an enemy of her. But I wouldn't be seeking her out to hang out and I'd gently decline social invitations that were adult-focused as opposed to kid-centric.