Volleyball Tryouts "early decision"

[Anonymous]

We saw it on Academy’s tryout form, too, and didn’t try out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We saw it on Academy’s tryout form, too, and didn’t try out.

Also saw it on Academy’s form. Bad look.

[Anonymous]

Imagine you have no offers and you try to find a last-minute option for your DD. You come to this forum and figure out that Academy would be a pretty solid backup plan. But how do you answer that question? You probably say "absolutely" - you would accept an offer from Academy. Then during the Academy tryout, you get an offer from a better club (other player rejected the offer and a spot opened for your DD). What would you do? Was that a promise to accept the Academy offer if you get it? Ignore the offer from the better club because you promised to accept the Academy offer? Ethical / moral dilemma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine you have no offers and you try to find a last-minute option for your DD. You come to this forum and figure out that Academy would be a pretty solid backup plan. But how do you answer that question? You probably say "absolutely" - you would accept an offer from Academy. Then during the Academy tryout, you get an offer from a better club (other player rejected the offer and a spot opened for your DD). What would you do? Was that a promise to accept the Academy offer if you get it? Ignore the offer from the better club because you promised to accept the Academy offer? Ethical / moral dilemma.

This. It’s exactly why the CHRVA rules exist. Academy, and any other club that asks a similar question in registration or at tryouts, was willing to break the rules and put players into a position where they feel forced to either accept an offer they don’t want or lie to the club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine you have no offers and you try to find a last-minute option for your DD. You come to this forum and figure out that Academy would be a pretty solid backup plan. But how do you answer that question? You probably say "absolutely" - you would accept an offer from Academy. Then during the Academy tryout, you get an offer from a better club (other player rejected the offer and a spot opened for your DD). What would you do? Was that a promise to accept the Academy offer if you get it? Ignore the offer from the better club because you promised to accept the Academy offer? Ethical / moral dilemma.

This. It’s exactly why the CHRVA rules exist. Academy, and any other club that asks a similar question in registration or at tryouts, was willing to break the rules and put players into a position where they feel forced to either accept an offer they don’t want or lie to the club.

Here is what we learned from Volley Viet, verbal conversations with coaches at other clubs and talking with more experienced families. You always lie. You always tell a club they are your first choice. There is no loyalty anywhere and they will turn on you in a second. You can do the same to them. It isn’t a moral dilemma. It’s no different than them telling a player how bad they want the player to come to the club and then no email ever comes.

Still, I would stay away from any club asking these questions. My daughter will not try out for VV again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine you have no offers and you try to find a last-minute option for your DD. You come to this forum and figure out that Academy would be a pretty solid backup plan. But how do you answer that question? You probably say "absolutely" - you would accept an offer from Academy. Then during the Academy tryout, you get an offer from a better club (other player rejected the offer and a spot opened for your DD). What would you do? Was that a promise to accept the Academy offer if you get it? Ignore the offer from the better club because you promised to accept the Academy offer? Ethical / moral dilemma.

This. It’s exactly why the CHRVA rules exist. Academy, and any other club that asks a similar question in registration or at tryouts, was willing to break the rules and put players into a position where they feel forced to either accept an offer they don’t want or lie to the club.

Here is what we learned from Volley Viet, verbal conversations with coaches at other clubs and talking with more experienced families. You always lie. You always tell a club they are your first choice. There is no loyalty anywhere and they will turn on you in a second. You can do the same to them. It isn’t a moral dilemma. It’s no different than them telling a player how bad they want the player to come to the club and then no email ever comes.

Still, I would stay away from any club asking these questions. My daughter will not try out for VV again.

Yes, it is a real moral dilemma. You have to decide what you are teaching your DD. Teaching her to lie to get what she wants is not the lesson we want our DD to learn from tryouts. Instead, we focus on how to evaluate the honesty of a club and a coach. If a club tells your DD "how bad they want her to come to the club" and then she doesn't get an offer, that's a broken promise and you shouldn't even consider trying out for them next year. If your DD tells a club it is her first choice and then takes a different offer, then the club shouldn't offer that player again. In both situations there is no trust, and we don't want our DD playing for a club or coach that she doesn't trust, or that doesn't trust her.

If what you learned from VV is to lie, then they are doing something wrong. No young player should ever be forced to lie to make a club team. If a club breaks the recruiting rules and you don't call them out on it, you make the system worse.

We were taught by an older volleyball family that the best answer to the question, "Is this your first choice of club?" is "Am I your first choice of player, and are you giving me an offer to play here?" It acknowledges the question and makes it clear you understand the rules. If a coach chooses not to give you an offer because you didn't answer the question, then you definitely do not want to play for that club. If the coach does give you the offer, then you know where you stand and you didn't have to lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine you have no offers and you try to find a last-minute option for your DD. You come to this forum and figure out that Academy would be a pretty solid backup plan. But how do you answer that question? You probably say "absolutely" - you would accept an offer from Academy. Then during the Academy tryout, you get an offer from a better club (other player rejected the offer and a spot opened for your DD). What would you do? Was that a promise to accept the Academy offer if you get it? Ignore the offer from the better club because you promised to accept the Academy offer? Ethical / moral dilemma.

This. It’s exactly why the CHRVA rules exist. Academy, and any other club that asks a similar question in registration or at tryouts, was willing to break the rules and put players into a position where they feel forced to either accept an offer they don’t want or lie to the club.

Here is what we learned from Volley Viet, verbal conversations with coaches at other clubs and talking with more experienced families. You always lie. You always tell a club they are your first choice. There is no loyalty anywhere and they will turn on you in a second. You can do the same to them. It isn’t a moral dilemma. It’s no different than them telling a player how bad they want the player to come to the club and then no email ever comes.

Still, I would stay away from any club asking these questions. My daughter will not try out for VV again.

Yes, it is a real moral dilemma. You have to decide what you are teaching your DD. Teaching her to lie to get what she wants is not the lesson we want our DD to learn from tryouts. Instead, we focus on how to evaluate the honesty of a club and a coach. If a club tells your DD "how bad they want her to come to the club" and then she doesn't get an offer, that's a broken promise and you shouldn't even consider trying out for them next year. If your DD tells a club it is her first choice and then takes a different offer, then the club shouldn't offer that player again. In both situations there is no trust, and we don't want our DD playing for a club or coach that she doesn't trust, or that doesn't trust her.

If what you learned from VV is to lie, then they are doing something wrong. No young player should ever be forced to lie to make a club team. If a club breaks the recruiting rules and you don't call them out on it, you make the system worse.

We were taught by an older volleyball family that the best answer to the question, "Is this your first choice of club?" is "Am I your first choice of player, and are you giving me an offer to play here?" It acknowledges the question and makes it clear you understand the rules. If a coach chooses not to give you an offer because you didn't answer the question, then you definitely do not want to play for that club. If the coach does give you the offer, then you know where you stand and you didn't have to lie.

I would not advise any player to use that line because that (non)answer may seem combative (the coach may feel like you are talking back).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine you have no offers and you try to find a last-minute option for your DD. You come to this forum and figure out that Academy would be a pretty solid backup plan. But how do you answer that question? You probably say "absolutely" - you would accept an offer from Academy. Then during the Academy tryout, you get an offer from a better club (other player rejected the offer and a spot opened for your DD). What would you do? Was that a promise to accept the Academy offer if you get it? Ignore the offer from the better club because you promised to accept the Academy offer? Ethical / moral dilemma.

This. It’s exactly why the CHRVA rules exist. Academy, and any other club that asks a similar question in registration or at tryouts, was willing to break the rules and put players into a position where they feel forced to either accept an offer they don’t want or lie to the club.

Here is what we learned from Volley Viet, verbal conversations with coaches at other clubs and talking with more experienced families. You always lie. You always tell a club they are your first choice. There is no loyalty anywhere and they will turn on you in a second. You can do the same to them. It isn’t a moral dilemma. It’s no different than them telling a player how bad they want the player to come to the club and then no email ever comes.

Still, I would stay away from any club asking these questions. My daughter will not try out for VV again.

Yes, it is a real moral dilemma. You have to decide what you are teaching your DD. Teaching her to lie to get what she wants is not the lesson we want our DD to learn from tryouts. Instead, we focus on how to evaluate the honesty of a club and a coach. If a club tells your DD "how bad they want her to come to the club" and then she doesn't get an offer, that's a broken promise and you shouldn't even consider trying out for them next year. If your DD tells a club it is her first choice and then takes a different offer, then the club shouldn't offer that player again. In both situations there is no trust, and we don't want our DD playing for a club or coach that she doesn't trust, or that doesn't trust her.

If what you learned from VV is to lie, then they are doing something wrong. No young player should ever be forced to lie to make a club team. If a club breaks the recruiting rules and you don't call them out on it, you make the system worse.

We were taught by an older volleyball family that the best answer to the question, "Is this your first choice of club?" is "Am I your first choice of player, and are you giving me an offer to play here?" It acknowledges the question and makes it clear you understand the rules. If a coach chooses not to give you an offer because you didn't answer the question, then you definitely do not want to play for that club. If the coach does give you the offer, then you know where you stand and you didn't have to lie.

I would not advise any player to use that line because that (non)answer may seem combative (the coach may feel like you are talking back).

+1. Simple answer when asked by Club/Coach: "I really like your club/team but I would like to keep my options open". If they really want you, they would respect your answer and decision making process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine you have no offers and you try to find a last-minute option for your DD. You come to this forum and figure out that Academy would be a pretty solid backup plan. But how do you answer that question? You probably say "absolutely" - you would accept an offer from Academy. Then during the Academy tryout, you get an offer from a better club (other player rejected the offer and a spot opened for your DD). What would you do? Was that a promise to accept the Academy offer if you get it? Ignore the offer from the better club because you promised to accept the Academy offer? Ethical / moral dilemma.

This. It’s exactly why the CHRVA rules exist. Academy, and any other club that asks a similar question in registration or at tryouts, was willing to break the rules and put players into a position where they feel forced to either accept an offer they don’t want or lie to the club.

Here is what we learned from Volley Viet, verbal conversations with coaches at other clubs and talking with more experienced families. You always lie. You always tell a club they are your first choice. There is no loyalty anywhere and they will turn on you in a second. You can do the same to them. It isn’t a moral dilemma. It’s no different than them telling a player how bad they want the player to come to the club and then no email ever comes.

Still, I would stay away from any club asking these questions. My daughter will not try out for VV again.

Yes, it is a real moral dilemma. You have to decide what you are teaching your DD. Teaching her to lie to get what she wants is not the lesson we want our DD to learn from tryouts. Instead, we focus on how to evaluate the honesty of a club and a coach. If a club tells your DD "how bad they want her to come to the club" and then she doesn't get an offer, that's a broken promise and you shouldn't even consider trying out for them next year. If your DD tells a club it is her first choice and then takes a different offer, then the club shouldn't offer that player again. In both situations there is no trust, and we don't want our DD playing for a club or coach that she doesn't trust, or that doesn't trust her.

If what you learned from VV is to lie, then they are doing something wrong. No young player should ever be forced to lie to make a club team. If a club breaks the recruiting rules and you don't call them out on it, you make the system worse.

We were taught by an older volleyball family that the best answer to the question, "Is this your first choice of club?" is "Am I your first choice of player, and are you giving me an offer to play here?" It acknowledges the question and makes it clear you understand the rules. If a coach chooses not to give you an offer because you didn't answer the question, then you definitely do not want to play for that club. If the coach does give you the offer, then you know where you stand and you didn't have to lie.

I would not advise any player to use that line because that (non)answer may seem combative (the coach may feel like you are talking back).

+1. Simple answer when asked by Club/Coach: "I really like your club/team but I would like to keep my options open". If they really want you, they would respect your answer and decision making process.

I said my DD learned to lie from VV. I don’t know if she actually would because she is very honest. It was a rough weekend and she basically said something like that to every team. She got burned every time and advice later from others was she should have said they were a top choice. She finally got a spot during a make up tryout but the whole process left her feeling discouraged this year.

[Anonymous]

If a parent is not involved in the conversation, how about saying something like “I really love this club, but I need to talk to my parents about any offers I get.” If no parent around, say “I really love this club, but I would need an offer in writing, and I know I would need to accept in writing too.” Too stiff?

[Anonymous]

New idea: why not have a volleyball club draft much like baseball. Tryout. Coaches pick their teams round robin. Everyone’s happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New idea: why not have a volleyball club draft much like baseball. Tryout. Coaches pick their teams round robin. Everyone’s happy.

The players aren’t happ if they get up in their last choice o a lo choice club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a parent is not involved in the conversation, how about saying something like “I really love this club, but I need to talk to my parents about any offers I get.” If no parent around, say “I really love this club, but I would need an offer in writing, and I know I would need to accept in writing too.” Too stiff?

"I need to talk to my parents about the offers I get" is a really good answer. I will tell my DD to use this line in case a coach pressures her into committing on the spot.

[Anonymous]

With all those last minute offers - long after the cut off day- who is taking them? Girls who got no offer? Or are girls dumping the club they said yes to for a “better” offer on Wednesday or Thursday? Truly curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With all those last minute offers - long after the cut off day- who is taking them? Girls who got no offer? Or are girls dumping the club they said yes to for a “better” offer on Wednesday or Thursday? Truly curious.

I heard that players can still move around even after they formally accepted an offer. Clubs will likely not return the money that players paid when they accepted the offer, but they are unlikely to enforce the contract by suing the family. The players will likely not be welcome to that club ever again though.