Is it harder to raise boys or girls in HS?

[Anonymous]

It has nothing to do with gender. It’s all personality. I’m having an equally hard time but it could be either one on any given week. They have completely different issues, not related to gender. One is impulsive and says every thought and makes poor decisions sometimes. The other keeps all thoughts and emotions inside and we never really know what’s going on. Both are hard workers, but only on things they find important. Both have had friend issues.

We have lost sleep on both, one because we know too much. The other because we never know anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In reality, it's the kid you get.

In practice, things are made easier or harder by the established dynamic between parent and child and how that dynamic is influenced by the parent's preconceived notions and sexism.

Agree with your reality, 100% disagree with your practice. Too bad you put that on your kid.

[Anonymous]

It's not gender, it's personality. Our girl is very much like my husband and I in personality, so she is very relatable and easy to raise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People will say girls bc there is bias and parents mostly mothers are harder on their daughters (less freedom bc misogyny …higher expectations on school etc) but I think girls are easier. I can live with the girl attitude, I can’t deal with the stagnant lazy energy of most teen boys.

+1 I noticed this with a lot of my nephews. About 60% of them were like this. My nieces and daughter are not like this at all.

[Anonymous]

For both my kids -- autistic 12th grade girl and ADHD 9th grade boy -- middle school was so much harder than high school. The differences between kids are swamped by the fact that we survived the he!! that was middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People will say girls bc there is bias and parents mostly mothers are harder on their daughters (less freedom bc misogyny …higher expectations on school etc) but I think girls are easier. I can live with the girl attitude, I can’t deal with the stagnant lazy energy of most teen boys.

+1 I noticed this with a lot of my nephews. About 60% of them were like this. My nieces and daughter are not like this at all.

-1 Sounds nothing like my sons or their friends.

As all the thoughtful posters have noted, it’s all about personality and family dynamics. Our DD was lovely as a teen, as I’d our younger DS currently. Neither of them changed much from their younger selves. Our older DS was easy in many ways—hard worker, funny smart, good friends and unusually good at open communication for a kid that age. But he also was/is extraordinarily strong-willed and wanted to go out to parties much more often that we were comfortable with. He and my equally strong-willed DH had epic screaming matches pretty frequently, which was unpleasant for all involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People will say girls bc there is bias and parents mostly mothers are harder on their daughters (less freedom bc misogyny …higher expectations on school etc) but I think girls are easier. I can live with the girl attitude, I can’t deal with the stagnant lazy energy of most teen boys.

+1 I noticed this with a lot of my nephews. About 60% of them were like this. My nieces and daughter are not like this at all.

-1 Sounds nothing like my sons or their friends.

As all the thoughtful posters have noted, it’s all about personality and family dynamics. Our DD was lovely as a teen, as I’d our younger DS currently. Neither of them changed much from their younger selves. Our older DS was easy in many ways—hard worker, funny smart, good friends and unusually good at open communication for a kid that age. But he also was/is extraordinarily strong-willed and wanted to go out to parties much more often that we were comfortable with. He and my equally strong-willed DH had epic screaming matches pretty frequently, which was unpleasant for all involved.

I noticed is that the more they play video games, the less they are motivated to do stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It just depends on the kid

Bingo! I have two boys and the amount of bias and stereotyping I hear about boys is astounding. Mine are introverted, polite, social, motivated, loving, extremely hard working as well as academic high achievers. They are teens so can also be surly at times and occasionally unreasonable but nothing outside of the range of normal for boys AND girls. They are close to both parents.

[Anonymous]

I only make boys. Super easy. They are both teenagers. I wish they'd be dumbasses. Then I could do some parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a boy or a girl thing. It’s a what human did you get thing.

Yes and also what kind of person you are and your own baggage you bring into parenting - I think many women find it easier to parent boys bc they are more forgiving of their differences as the male experience is foreign to them - and tend to judge/be more harsh to daughters bc they “understand them” so are more frustrated. We all tend to butt heads with the negative traits most like our own. I see men do the same with their sons and forgiving of their daughters…but dads do less parenting and also posting on places like this so you see more “girls are hard” comments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In reality, it's the kid you get.

In practice, things are made easier or harder by the established dynamic between parent and child and how that dynamic is influenced by the parent's preconceived notions and sexism.

Agree with your reality, 100% disagree with your practice. Too bad you put that on your kid.

I didn't but I have seen it in practice how gender based parenting bias creates conflict and behavior issues

[Anonymous]

I have two daughters. They’ve been fairly easy. Some boundary pushing, but I imagine you get that with boys too. Maybe I’m lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has nothing to do with gender. It’s all personality. I’m having an equally hard time but it could be either one on any given week. They have completely different issues, not related to gender. One is impulsive and says every thought and makes poor decisions sometimes. The other keeps all thoughts and emotions inside and we never really know what’s going on. Both are hard workers, but only on things they find important. Both have had friend issues.

We have lost sleep on both, one because we know too much. The other because we never know anything.

+ infinity. I could have written this exact post re my DD and DS.

[Anonymous]

I have both and in my experience girls get more difficult and boys get easier. Of course that’s general.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid,
It really
Does - I have both