Counteracting someone taking advantage of aging parent

[Anonymous]

Go for an unannounced visit even if it just a day or two.

Put in camera(s) including one or two that are hidden. Tell your father it is for his safety and security, and he probably won't balk.

Then take employee aside and tell them camera is on 24/7 and can record all conversations and activity. Advise them that if they manipulate camera they will be dismissed immediately.

Also while you are there, begin the hunt to find another caregiver. You know this one already stinks.

FWIW, my greedy sister was one of those "friends" who manipulated her way into elderly relatives & friends lives, including my parents' friends.

She was openly gleeful about how she might be able to get something out of these people. Thankfully, their adult children intervened and ensured she was cut out of wills.

Sad part is she isn't the only one I knew who does this. My BFF had a SIL that did the same thing - befriended an elderly neighbor with the goal of getting named in the will and getting assets.

[Anonymous]

I befriended my elderly neighbours because I was brought up to be kind to seniors, which is normal in my culture. Everybody thought I was doing it to get in the will.

After the wife died, I then spent time with the husband getting him to change his will. It left everything to charity as his relatives ignored him. I got him to put them all back in the will and only leave 10% to charity. So yeah, any neighbour who is kind is out to get them.

When he broke his hip I saved his life by taking him home from the hospital, cooking his meals, and forcing him to rehab himself. He had severe dysphagia and depression that they ignored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go for an unannounced visit even if it just a day or two.

Put in camera(s) including one or two that are hidden. Tell your father it is for his safety and security, and he probably won't balk.

Then take employee aside and tell them camera is on 24/7 and can record all conversations and activity. Advise them that if they manipulate camera they will be dismissed immediately.

Also while you are there, begin the hunt to find another caregiver. You know this one already stinks.

FWIW, my greedy sister was one of those "friends" who manipulated her way into elderly relatives & friends lives, including my parents' friends.

She was openly gleeful about how she might be able to get something out of these people. Thankfully, their adult children intervened and ensured she was cut out of wills.

Sad part is she isn't the only one I knew who does this. My BFF had a SIL that did the same thing - befriended an elderly neighbor with the goal of getting named in the will and getting assets.

On the flip side, I had an older friend. We became friends at the pool when I was around 11 years old and swam together often, lost touch, and reconnected when both of us were a lot older.

Her son gave me weird looks and I wondered if he thought I was trying to scam his mother. I backed off and then never even knew when she passed away. I grieved alone.

So, definitely be aware, but also not everyone is bad. I regret that I didn't stay in touch that second time around yet glad we at least saw each other again there. I should not have chickened out due to her son.

[Anonymous]

I called their employer and they were fired.