I dread all social interactions

[Anonymous]

Can you explain this to me? I am an extreme extrovert so I struggle with this. My husband is like this. We get invited to all sorts of stuff and I have to decide how badly I want to go to whatever event to endure the misery my husband will put me through for us to go. It manifests as agitation and anger as we approach the time to go to whatever event and I end up angry and agitated, too. I go to lots of these things alone which is ok sometimes but I get tired of going alone and making excuses for him.

In the past few years he has gotten better because of our son. He goes to his games and some parties where families are involved. We have a very social neighborhood and our son is very social and is invited to birthday parties, many of these are also social for the parents.

My husband's social anxiety is coupled with believing that most social interactions result in people disliking him or believing he is strange. He is definitely an introvert but I have been with him in so many of these interactions and he is just fine and not awkward at all. It just makes me sad for all of us.

[Anonymous]

I am also you, OP. I always wonder how differently my life would have turned out if I had been successfully treated for social anxiety as a child (whatever that looks like). Now in my 40s I’ve just arranged my life to minimize social exposure.

One difference though is that I have a few amazing long term friends. I don’t think of that as social though, since they know me so well and we meet at each others’ homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you explain this to me? I am an extreme extrovert so I struggle with this. My husband is like this. We get invited to all sorts of stuff and I have to decide how badly I want to go to whatever event to endure the misery my husband will put me through for us to go. It manifests as agitation and anger as we approach the time to go to whatever event and I end up angry and agitated, too. I go to lots of these things alone which is ok sometimes but I get tired of going alone and making excuses for him.

In the past few years he has gotten better because of our son. He goes to his games and some parties where families are involved. We have a very social neighborhood and our son is very social and is invited to birthday parties, many of these are also social for the parents.

My husband's social anxiety is coupled with believing that most social interactions result in people disliking him or believing he is strange. He is definitely an introvert but I have been with him in so many of these interactions and he is just fine and not awkward at all. It just makes me sad for all of us.

Yes, I am always left thinking people think I am an idiot or weird. I feel much worse about myself after every interaction, like it actively hurts my self-esteem to be exposed to these situations over and over again in which I feel so anxious and "wrong". So I dread them before, hate them during, and feel worse after. It feels masochistic, almost like going to the dentist and asking to have painful dental work you don't actually need and know will hurt, but won't help. I can recall instances of saying stupid things years ago and still feel shame over it.

[Anonymous]

I def hate people more and more as I get older. I am def open to talking to selected parents esp of my kids' friends but on the whole, I find most people fools and have no desire for small talk anyway. I miss friendships however. I miss socializing and I'm still really tight with old dear friends none of whom live here. I like a lot of strangers I have conversations with who seem interesting but the crowds here which are basically the parents of my kids' activities/friends in school..ugh.

I no longer try but I did for a loooooooong time. What I discovered is most of the people I really did click with ended up moving away!!! I hate the DMV so very much. Unfortunately DH roots are here as his good job. I can't tell you how lonely I am but I have my kids and DH so I just have to make do. I watch a lot of movies, I do a lot of art and music to keep myself entertained.